Strange Aeons Radio

179 KIDNAPPED!

June 16, 2022 Strange Aeons Radio Season 4 Episode 179
Strange Aeons Radio
179 KIDNAPPED!
Show Notes Transcript

179 KIDNAPPED!
Another remote episode ensures Kelly's house will NOT get cleaned. Also discussed: The Boys, Stranger Things, Strange New Worlds.

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sorry did I break your concentration somewhere between science and superstition sites to show you strange aeons. Bottom strange aeons radio. That's Eric still over at his house. Yes, that's the necessary over at her house. Hello. I'm Kelly and we are out of an abundance of caution doing this one more week. We'll be doing that. But you know what the bummer of all of this as you guys is without you coming to you literally the only people who come visit me right, sir? Yeah. Which means the house gets cleaned every Saturday. Preparation for you guys. And I live in a shithole now. You live in special? Yeah, your house is always impeccably clean. And I've always been like, yeah, and Kelly really like holds it together as a single guy. A nice looking home. I know the secret why? It's all an illusion, albums everywhere out of their sleeves. I did. I did have albums everywhere for a while. Now I've got all of this stuff out, you guys made the mistake. Everybody probably has a glimpse into my mind. I've got like a collective mentality. But I also will like focus on something weird. And then just boom, and then and then I slowly get over it and move on to something else. And we were over at Matt Flores house after Trypticon. And he had this lovely black velvet painting from the 70s where the cool frame and had like an Asian landscape. And I was like, Damn, that would look great over my fireplace, because as you know, my my living room kind of feels about 1974. Yeah. So I decided to go on line and look for black velvet paintings on eBay and everything. Like why are these so expensive? These are mostly hideous. So why are they 300 $400 for these things. But then I said wait a second, there's gotta be people who are painting these now, right, there's got to be current black velvet painting. So I went on to Etsy, and I found myself this lovely gigantic black velvet painting for like $90 It's gorgeous, it's huge. So huge that I can just put it into any old frame. So I had to actually and it came just the basic painting. So I had to buy the stretcher bought bars, the the wood that you put together and then stretch the cameras over and stable. And then I found one frame that I liked that wasn't quite the right size, or this. And so I'm actually going to be changing the shape of an old frame. Now finally, all the tools that I'm buying have come in just in time for me to be like, I don't know, if I'm all that interested in doing all this work. Needed to all show up at the same time. So I could have gotten really excited about it and done it in a weekend. But now that sounds like so much work. I have often thought though, it would be really neat to learn how to frame and we've saved me so much money, if I could just build some pieces of wood and get a piece of glass cut and just make it work. But yeah, instead I have to give Michaels a lot of money to do very fine ish work. Yeah. And the problem really is I mean, it's easy to build a frame, you know, if you've got a miter saw that will cut, you know, even just a hand miter saw, cut that angle precisely for you and everything. And then you're just gluing and stapling the frame together. And then you have somebody go and cut the glass for you. I assume that seems that seems harder than the other stuff to me. But at the end of it, we have to put a price on our time, right? Yeah. And I don't know what you get paid hourly, Vanessa, but that is your price. And if it takes say, three, three hours to build this frame, at what you charge for your time, then you look at Michaels and Bill, that frame is cheap. Okay, all right. You've convinced me? Yeah. I mean, it would be like I'd have to take a class or something. I've never used a hand tool to cut a piece of wood in my life. So I'd be very dangerous for a hot minute. I'm not sure I've used a chainsaw. I know How to use a chainsaw. I know Yeah, electric chainsaw. Oh, yeah. And it works extremely well. It's great. And I have not hurt myself yet. I'm very glad to hear that. But yeah, I don't know how to like do woodworking which seems magical and wonderful to me, but I also don't have like a garage or a place that I could do it. So Michaels is fine. Alright. I'll be not mad at them. Painting I can't wait to see it hung up when we come over in those who knows if I'll get around to it. Now I've lost the drive. You have to you have to now because we leave it laying on the ground. Leave it like on your floor. Yes. I'll send a picture of it to you and then so it's really really pretty. Oh, and the cool thing about them. I just love art but having an actual piece of art that's not a print or something like that. That's really cool to me. Yeah, this is a you know, a hand painted black velvet painting. You guys. Are you watching Stranger Things? Or have you watched Stranger Things? Or do you? Stranger Things? Only the first episode I just finally got to watch it because I was finally not sick. And enough to so I've only seen the first episode. Yeah, first of all, seven episodes out right now the next seven come or No, it's the next two. And July and the next two are both like two hours long. Okay, so she's very strange. And confusing. Yeah. Ability to figure out how to put their stuff out. Well, I kinda love it because every episode has varied in length, too. So some are over an hour, some are under an hour. So I liked that idea. I did love this first seven episodes. Oh. There's also this globe trotting, going on espionage and surrounding these kids. And just like you know what, this worked really well when it was small town horror. But as soon as it starts getting bigger and bigger, like I guess you have to do with a sequel of any kind. It starts falling apart for me so and the acting is these kids are never that good of actors. But as they've gotten older, they haven't gotten better. So it's it's one of those things where I'm like, I really hope this is the final season. I think they've got no they've got a fifth one. Yeah, one more. I think they committed to one more after that. I saw like a clickbait line. The producers were crying at the pitch they were given for Stranger Things five. Season Southdowns I'll say this. So much of a shake up at Netflix. There's no promise of getting the season five. Yeah, no kidding. Oh, is Netflix being going through some structural changes? Oh, just it's being made known that they have spent a lot more money than they're making. So I imagined somebody will come in and, and take control and say, Hey, we're supposed to be making money with this business. Yeah, yeah, that's fine. Well, I can say from the first episode, I did enjoy the first episode quite a bit and it definitely had a Nightmare on Elm Street quality to it. That was pretty fun and very horror in a way that was nice. Enjoy. You guys see strange new worlds. You're kind of caught up on that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, super, super fun. Every episode. I'm like, they're gonna they're gonna drop the ball, they're gonna lose momentum. They're gonna do something stupid. And instead every single episode I feel like it's almost like better and better than the previous one. So I'm really excited. I gave him a little review if you haven't if people haven't watched what was the thing is the fourth episode with that featured Spock? And like, they start that one battle. I'm going oh, I hope they at least do in homage a little bit to oh, they went full on and just played music Yeah, they did it. They did. Excellent. Fun. I you know, I don't tend to love like zany and that episode was definitely zany. But I don't care. I don't know. They kept saying I don't like high jinks. Yeah, exactly. Well, you know, I will say this. I thought it was a little too early to bring in a comedic episode. And I thought they pulled it off. The fact that they were leaning into not liking this kind of comedy made me feel like okay, when you're going to do a body swap, which I think is pretty lazy. What are you gonna do a body swap episode, then? The only people you can do it with is with two Vulcans are going to have freakout over the entire thing. And I thought that that was really a smart way to do it. It was definitely a super smart way. And I just Yeah, I just enjoyed, you know, there's so much character development happening now where you got the, you know, you find out this number one is not fun and therefore gets to play some bingo. Like, it's I don't know, there's just a lot of like neat little twists and turns, but I've been really enjoying learning about these different people and their dynamics. Yeah, I've been able also to kind of step away from the whole idea that, that their future has kind of already been set in stone and, and just go with the idea that you know, in general, we kind of know what happens with these people and and just roll with how well written they're all ya know, there's a lot a lot of respect for the characters in the show. Yeah, it's actually written by people who it seems have actually seen Star Trek. big plus. And from my understanding for this one, they actually hired a lot of pretty well known like sci fi authors to jump on board, so it's got a lot more care and understanding of the genre being put in. Well, I thank you guys for bringing it to my attention. Yeah. Hey, don't worry about watching Picard. I did have to step away. I was like, Oh, I'm sick. I'll watch all Picard. And I got like halfway into one of the episodes I think it's five. I was like, I feel so sick. I can't I can't watch this anymore. So I just step away from the bad boy. Oh, wow, watch bad it's a bad show. It's a really bad bad if you like next generation don't watch Picard unless like me. I like he's like a substitute for he's my space dad. Right. So it's I just want to watch my space dad in his retirement home having having a good time. Alrighty, well watch something that is an amazing celebration and look at one of my my favorite comedian by far. I was glad I saw it. I think three times is George Carlin's documentary on HBO. Really, really good. Holy shit, that's good. It's, it's two parts, two plus hours per part, and no wasted time in it tells all the nasty stuff that he went through the rough things that happened, how you know, he wasn't always the greatest guy, but always trying to be the best he could be at what he was doing. And I just thought it was phenomenal. Really, he's really gave a nice insight into him and the fact that they had so much of his writing. Yeah, you know, that they could pull off and everything. I was like, wow, this guy documented everything. Yeah, you did. Yeah. And I had no I had known, you know, how he felt about his wife and watching his career a lot. You could see, after his first wife died, he got really angry. His comedy got so much angry. And they they addressed that in the documentary as well. And, and to see what they went through. Because I hadn't read like a bio on him or anything. So a lot of stuffs gone. I knew I knew it wasn't great. I didn't realize how dark it was, but it's still phenomenal. To see him. The movement from the kind of comedy he was there's not a lot of comedians that have such incredibly distinct styles throughout their career where you know, he's the hippy dippy weatherman. And then he's the, the hippie, comedian, and then kind of goofy and then really political. That is a lot of fun. So highly recommended. Yeah, that's on HBO. Max, I think. Yeah. Jedi powers. Best thing in a very, very long time. For sure, for sure. You guys, the first couple episodes of the boys are out. I have not watched it yet. How is it? Is it good? Is pretty over the top. The first 2030 minutes of the first episode. It's like, holy shit. Yeah, I I'm a little surprised with what they get away with this show. Yeah. Yeah, no kidding. And I'll just tell you, the guy who plays home lender is terrifying. Jesus Christ. He is. I just can't imagine being in a room with somebody like that and seeing the little tics and weird things he does with his face. He is just spectacularly scary. Yeah. Have you seen all three of the first? Yes. Okay. Yeah, he is Hawkman by the end of the third of society, so Yeah, they're definitely upping the stakes. That's for sure. That's on Amazon, Amazon Prime. Season three and still just, it's just an awesome show. Yeah, so good. Also Did you notice? So they brought in a couple of people from Supernatural one of them, of course, being dean. But the other one being Bobby Singer, whose real name is Bobby Singer, and who in the boys is also called Robert saner. He has a problem maybe isn't, I must always have the same name. as well. I know that Eric crypkey was the guy who created supernatural and so he's obviously friends with this guy. And maybe it's just a running joke between the two of them where you're just gonna play your name. I don't know. But I like it. Yeah, it's pretty cool. I did not know that. So it's the same showrunner as supernatural for the boys. The first five seasons, I think that crypkey was the one who created it and show ran it for him that what he had planned for it. And then 26 seasons, or whatever it was, yeah, I'm sure that she got a nice paycheck every episode. Well, I during my sickness, I watched a couple of things just to like, chill out too. And things I wouldn't typically watch and one of those was something I'd avoided called under the banner of heaven. Oh, geez. Read the book. Read the book, man. Well, yeah, so that was, um, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to watch the show because I worked on a reality TV series, documenting flts behavior and practices and I knew a lot and I read a lot of books. And I was really like that working on that show kind of ruined my life for a bit. So I was really not sure if I was gonna watch the show. But as Andrew Garfield and I watched it, it was, it was really good. It is kind of like a mix of therapy for me and also a little bit like, history lessons on on how the Mormon religion is and how the LDS kind of broke away, but it it was definitely fascinating. They did a good job. And I believe after this, Andrew Garfield was also like, I am taking a little break some time. Yeah. Needs some therapy, which would make a lot of sense. Wow. Yeah. The book was incredible. I do want to see what they did with with that. That was a hell of a read. Yeah. Yeah. Krakow. Right. Like he's an incredible, yes. Incredible author. Yeah, it's a really weird thing that exists in America right now. Like right now. And people are fanatics and they take what they believe. And they really go for it. So. Yeah. Religion, what? Religion? So I'm diving back in a little bit into the sanity. That is Andy Milligan. Oh, my God. And back. Yes, it is interesting to the man with two heads, which is basically his take on Dr. and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. And he's a singular kind of filmmaker. And I get why people love him and hate him. I've started to enjoy his movies a little bit more be with the mentality of okay, this is like watching because you can get some decent performances, but it's like watching a junior college play. Because he's all about the word. He overwrites everything. It's not about the camera and stuff. For him. It's all about the words. And so it's very much like a play would be as far as the way people speak to each other and the way they interact. So it's sort of like that, but it's being shot by a junior high video company. That's because the visuals are rough. are not selling me. Oh, I would not recommend this to you in any way shape or form. Tony Kaye loves this guy. I would definitely understand why he does and I will. And I also have that weird quirkiness in a lot of the stuff I watched that Tony does. So I'm thoroughly enjoying it. I have the next seven box set that's coming out I forgot the director's name. But he's the director of the incredibly mixed up something that stopped living and became zombies or something like that, and just what a truly crazy filmmaker. So going along with the tradition of the All atoms in boxset and this one I saw that popped up again order in that one another box of just insanely wild, individual talent that you just you just don't see the kind of movies these people make normally I feel like you have just made your way through all of cinema and now you're like, what else is there? Some of that yeah because I'm not there yet. I'm like I haven't even seen all of the you know Argento movies yet I haven't seen all the great you know Asian cinema Yeah, I don't I'm not there yet. I'm not ready to watch some shit some dude made in his backyard. While like high on acid. Yeah, that's part of the fun of it is his amazing ability to repurpose couches as costuming and weed. It's weird. That's bonkers. Is this the same two headed movie where the racist white guy gets the black? That's not that one. Like that but no that's this is Jacqueline Hyde is the same person turning Okay, so yeah, I think that I'm not that desperate yet either. So plenty of good movies I'm sure out there that I haven't seen yet. Yeah. Without a doubt All right. Well, why don't we take a break guys and then we're gonna come back we're talking kidnapping and Ransom movies. Address should be there. 1800 and St. Hello, yeah. Want to get away? Now you can with Southwest fares as low as $59. One way yes to low fares with nothing to hide. That's transparency. We have returned. Eric, this was your sub genre pick. Yes, yes. Before I dive into that, I'm going to check the break to look up that suffering film that is trying to think of the it's the incredibly strange films of Ray Dennis steckler and his most famous noise he did rat Fink of booboo and one of his films and the incredibly strange creatures who stopped living and became mixed up zombies. Fantastic. That's right. I am looking forward to seeing that. Run. Local website. For today, we'll be discussing kidnaps and Ransom movies. And I drew from my vinegar syndrome films, the candies snatchers. It started as a simple crime, but candy snatchers. for them. It was a new beginning. It was the beginning of the three losers who wanted to lead the good life. But candy snatchers. They do anything to get the candy snatchers they were rough on candy. They were rough on themselves out of my way know can do snatches. They will after a fortune and diamonds cut off for a year and they sent her father a piece of candy in a box. No candy snatchers. They did things they couldn't even believe themselves is really sick. She is old enough to be your mother. snatchers It is incredible. almost unbelievable. enemies. This is the one they're talking about. And this was actually pick up a crypto con the the guy who runs the booth there if you sit and talk to can be a lot of fun to talk to recommended this one. And I want to say I'm glad you recommended it, but it certainly is a it's a good one. It's a it's a watch. So this is 1973. The Rotten Tomatoes score on this one is 83 from critics and 60 from the crowd. So this has got to be one of the highest rated films vinegar syndrome has in their collection. The estimated budget was 250,000. But I No idea. So box office unknown director was acquired on True Blood also directed Barnaby Jones episodes, a in a short version of the whole Fall of the House of Usher, not a large directing career written by Brian Gandalf, who wrote hard times losing it. And Hunter the director also wrote it and he's got a little bit more of a history on his writings. He wrote the last Hardman Adam 12 tarantula, the deadly cargo and jaws 3d. Oh boy. The stars Tiffany, bowling, who is an electro woman and Dinah girl. The TV series The Sixth Sense, didn't recognize the day but caught my eye for an obvious reason. Kingdom of the spiders and lots of TV Ben Piazzale 102 credit credits, including rocky five. Tell me you love me. Junie mon The Blues Brothers also tons of TV of course. Susan senators in big bad mama submersion of Japan, and TV, and Brad David who was in WarGames nine to five in The Curious Case of the campus cops, whatever that is. That sounds amazing. So this is the the opening scenes if you didn't know when this movie was made, you know immediately by the opening song, because it is such a hippie rock, early 70s Rock sounding song. And it's the movie The song is money is the root of all happiness, which is also the bumper sticker on the back of the van that the kidnappers use. Like that's right. It's got a van in it. A windowless van always a sign of trouble. So it starts off right, right at the beginning, you got the three kidnappers coming in to Ben and a lady and they grab the character's name is Candy. So they grab candy off the street. They take her to a side of the road kind of place where they've pre dug a hole. Bury her in it, cover it with woods. So she's not actually direct buried and put a little tube in there for her to breathe through. Since I Oh, that's nice. But the whole thing is witnessed by a kid who's got the modern term is an intellectual disability, shall we say? And I'm pretty sure the kid they cast actually was on the spectrum, for sure. And boy, his mom is a nasty piece of work towards him. But he sees this whole thing and not only is he mentally slow, he cannot speak. So he's not really able to say what's going on. The idea that film is they have the kidnappers have captured this woman and they're going to or this girl, and they're going to ransomware to their father who works in a diamond store. He is not wealthy, but he works there where he can steal the diamonds and bring them to her. The father though is acting pretty odd. He doesn't seem to have much of an interest in the fact that this child has been taken. Doesn't tell his wife doesn't tell anybody and goes to his mistress and brings her a big diamond necklace. So it's kind of obvious very early on that this guy doesn't give a shit about the kid. And this is like 25 minutes into the movie. You're gone. Okay, so he is he's happy if this kid disappears and doesn't come back. The meanwhile the little kid is still trying to tell his mom that Somebody's been kidnapped. And she's basically abusive to the kid. So it's pretty rough. And then that kid kind of disappears from the movie for a while, but he comes back in the end. But so the kidnappers figured out that this guy has no interest whatsoever in getting the kid back. And now they have to try to figure out well, what do we do? They think Well, shall we go and directly attack this guy at his job and steal his diamonds from Then should we figure out another way to make money to kill the kid would be to have the one at one of the kidnappers is really vicious one is really nice. And the woman is sort of in the middle. It's an early 70s movie. So you can probably imagine a couple scenes in the film with a very uncomfortable scene with the woman getting raped by who's the guy who's supposed to be the nice guy. Oh, then the kid gets attacked to it's like, oh, man, this is Oh, it's unpleasant. Early 70s. filmmaking, thank you vinegar syndrome for this recommendation. And that respect. But they do spend the good chunk of the movie is then spent trying to figure out what they're going to do they want to cut, they're going to love us cut off the ladies here and or the kids here and send it to the dad, but then they don't have the guts to they don't want to cut off the year. That's too violent for them. So they're not going to do that. So they come up with a different way to get an ear and send it in. But again, the guy doesn't care so it really doesn't matter what they do. So that's kind of what the rest of the movie is trying to figure out how they're going to make their money. The desperation in them grows quite a bit and there's nice interactions with the nice the nice guy who raped the woman trying to figure out how to save the girl from the guy who says he's killed 12 people and once the kidnapped girl to be as 13 So that's a dark film. And the ending is even darker. Oh, now outside of buying us from vinegar syndrome. This is a really hard movie to find. I didn't find any other place it's streaming it's probably on YouTube because you know everything is but the story was inspired by a real real life kidnapping of Barbra Jean Michel in Florida 1968 So they it's it's loose though, but the idea of them kidnapping and the person not being interested in the kid that got kidnapping so yay. That same story is also appeared in a movie called The Longest Night at three hours till dawn. The TV series untold stories buried alive and a crime to remember coffin for Christmas. Wow, super low budget in a lot of ways they shot a lot of the stuff without any permits, and just guerilla filmmaking it the original title which they decided to change because it's because the producers said it sounds too much like a porno was the candy snatch that's that was a good call. Candy snatchers is a little iffy as it is to. It does have the film has a fairly decent cold following which is understandable. It's well, it's well done. And it's serving this. The one of the leads though Tiffany was not happy she did the film. She's elaborate at the time I was doing cocaine and didn't really know what I was doing is very angry about the way my career had gone. And opportunities were not being given. And after doing this movie, the opportunities got even less. And she regrets that because she kind of felt like she was looked up to for some of the happy movies she was in before and that kind of destroy this one. And she did not like the filming of the movie, which is understandable. This didn't look like a fun film to to have been in front of the camera on. But so Yeah, another final recommendation from vinegar syndrome. Thank you all and I'm sorry, I picked this subject she's ah, when so would you like to lighten our mood? Would I prefer would like I said, Yeah, you pick this subject and I was like, I'm not want to watch something dark and horrible. And I was like, I know. I'm gonna think back to these other films that involve kidnapping that I found I'm so fun and delightful growing up and for some reason the to two of the films that my mom expose me to the most as a kid were Seven Brides for Seven brothers or sisters about seven brothers kidnapping seven women and hauling them off to the mountainside and the cult classic recently released on Severan 1987 movie overboard somebody's calling for a carpenter that's my wife's department Mrs. Grant status the third grads I've always knew what she wanted I'm not paying for your mistakes and she always got a single thing on this earth to do except for your hair. Color taste what is this style squeezing from my amnesia seems a mystery woman was picked up by the garbage out shortly after midnight excuse me miss Can you tell me your name? Of course I know my missing link person is not my husband. Welcome Home baby Goldie Hawn Kurt Russell overboard so which I also I was like my mom really exposed me to some very interesting dynamics for relationships. But both so joyful. So yes overboard. That has a rotten tomato score of 44% from critics and 74% from audience so audiences like Sure. The budget was 22 million and the box office was 26 point 7 million so not a runaway hit. director Gary Marshall he's the right he's a writer but just a director for this particular film. But some of the stuff that he's directed includes beaches Pretty Woman Frankie and Johnny Runaway Bride Princess Diaries Valentine's Day New Year's Eve Mother's Day, like those really bad compilation movies. He but he wrote for a lot of TV In fact, he created happy days he created Mork and Mindy created Laverne and Shirley many many more also wrote on Dick VanDyke Lucy Odd Couple. So this guy is like old school sick, calm. Legend God. It was written by Leslie Dixon who has 18 credits including Luke who's talking now Mrs. Doubtfire Thomas Crown Affair, Freaky Friday and limitless. Yeah, and the composer was Alan Silvestri, which you may have come across in recent times because he does the Marvel stuff so big heavy hitter composer now, not his finest hour in this particular film. Definitely just kind of one zany tune that happens over and over again. That's fine. It is starring Goldie Hawn as Joanna Stayton the rich bitch she's been in 38 things she started off with laughing Private Benjamin was also in death becomes her and First Wives Club. Kurt Russell plays Dean profit we've talked about Kurt before in the 102 things. A lot of things with Elvis in the title also force a lot of things with carpenter in the byline, including Escape from New York that thing big trouble escape from LA. And recently Guardians of the Galaxy Fast and Furious. To name just a tiny, tiny amount of stuff. He's old enough to Edward Herrmann plays grant state and the third who is the rich man slash has spent. He's been in 137 things. We have seen him in Lost Boys. I have seen him in Gilmore Girls. You guys have probably seen him playing a role in monsters. Katherine Hellman, who is like the old, older rich mother 104 Things I recognize her from being in Brazil. She was also in time bandits. And who's the boss as Mona, so very, very cool. And I guess she was in soap as Jessica Tate. I never saw soap. So Ronnie McDowell as Andrew Butler 270 things including Planet of the Apes and Frank Knight, and Mike Haggerty as Billy Pratt, the friend. He's been in 115 things, including several episodes of friends as Mr. Treeger, who's in the George Carlin show, and he's in lots and lots and lots of walk on TV roles. So, the story of this, man, okay, so this is like a zany, fun wrong rom com 80s movie, but the actual story is so fucking dark and it's like really the worst of humanity. So a wealthy woman is parked on a yacht off the coast of Oregon and elk Cove. Her husband insists, which is played by Edward Herrmann. So the wife is called behind. Her husband insists on parking there while he does some bird hunting, I think Ford she decides to hire a carpenter to redo her closets. Dean profit which is our Kurt Russell comes out for an American emergency repair and discovers a rude entitled woman who wants a shoe rack. They immediately butt heads. He works for two days and creates an inventive interesting closet system. She basically spends his two days avoiding him at all costs except to walk past and scantily clad clothing, revealing a heart shaped birthmark on her but she treats everyone around her like garbage and insists on perfection. She is just a horrible human being. When the job is done. Of course, she basically freaks out and says, You made this closet out of oak. It should have been cedar I'm not going to pay you get out of here, you know and he's like you might have wanted cedar but you didn't say cedar. So you need to pay me basically they get to a big fight on the bow of the boat. He calls her out and tells her exactly what she is which is bored with nothing real in her life who she has to make a problem to complain about. She calls him a smelling the end of tall because it's an 87 movie. She pushes him off the boat and gets the boat to kind of pull away and then she throws his tool belt and his toolbox in the water after him which I was like okay, I know that this is a comedy, but I feel so hard for him and his situation at that point because I'm like tools are not cheap. Sucks you like that's like hundreds of dollars more lady. So enraged. He leaves and reveals to a friend of his and like a little heart to heart. That money is really really tight. They're trying to work together to make a putt putt golf course and turn things around but he's not sure if he can wait that long. At home. He has four boys that he's raising alone after the death of his wife. He returns home to a principal who is walking out of his home. In a total Huff she's super pissed and basically says they tried to light her on fire and he's like, I don't know the boys are going through an arson period. She's disgusted with their lack of manners and almost feral existence. The home is a mess. The yard is full of like old dead trucks. It's muddy. It's messy. They have two dogs that are in the yard. This is like as backwater hexy as you can get. Meanwhile, on the yacht, they decided to set out back towards New York. Joanna discovers that she forgot her wedding ring on the deck and when her husband refuses to watch it because he's too busy watching lifestyles of the rich and famous. She goes out at night on to the desert to retrieve it however, the yacht is really unsteady because the Captain has fallen asleep and is driving it with his feet. So with a rough turn, she falls overboard straight into the sea at night is calling out but no one can hear her. And so next day the local news revealed that they have found a mystery woman in the water suffering from amnesia she was picked up by a garbage scow, and thus her photos look pretty rough. And she's in like a garbage scowl like jumpsuit uniform grant her fiance or sorry her husband comes to get her. But here's her yelling at everyone and treating everyone around her like garbage. He decides to just leave her there and be single for a while. She is so awful. The doctor puts out a reward, hoping that someone will come and claim her her. And Dean seen this knowing that she owes him $600. Um, he decides to take a show up and grab her and say that she is his wife. And his plan is to basically work her to her bones, until he feels like the debt he is owed from his work on her yacht is repaid. And he gets his four sons to be in on the deal. So he averages about $25 a day, so he's hoping he can keep her about a month through just be his wife. So he goes, he picks her up, and they're like, hey, you know what, we need proof, sir, that she is in fact, your husband. Cuz she's like, I don't recognize this guy. This is wrong. There's no way. I am not going home with this person. And he's like, Well, let me tell you about this tattoo on her butt. And sure enough, it all pays off. And she's like, Oh, no, he must be my husband. Because he knows about this weird tattoo on my butt. She goes back to this. Hell, hell home. She's Of course, disgusted. The dogs are constantly jumping on her. There's leaks, there's webs, there's dirt. There's just general chaos. The kids are just like flinging stuff everywhere. She is she's sure that this is not right. But she has no other choice but to become his house slave and full time babysitter, because she has no recourse of saying that this is definitely not where I belong, and apparently cannot leave. So Dean, in the mean, time basically makes up nonstop stories to explain away things that just don't make sense. Like he got his sons to go out and buy some like women's clothing, but didn't tell them what size so they're all like enormous clothes. And so he's like, oh, yeah, hon, you were real fat for a long time. There you look. It's just like, Are you sure it looks really sure, too. He's like, Oh, you had a hunch. And now you're all straightened out? Like, she's like, how come? I can speak French? And he's like, Well, you were in the Navy. And you did spend some time overseas. So it's just constantly explaining things away. But everything he explains is often very horrible. So she's like, how did we meet? And he's like, oh, yeah, when you're working at this fast food joint, you know, big dicks over on the side of the freeway, like every story is awful. It's just awful. And she's constantly like, Oh, I'm fat, stupid, blah, blah, blah, person. And so she also says at one point, hey, I need to see wedding pictures. She's constantly questioning the situation. And so he goes to his friend and has wedding pictures, doctored using her like, found footage, pictures that were on the news. So in every picture, she looks surprised and terrified. Also never working. Having worked a day in her life. JOANNE I must basically learn how to cook clean care for children, and eventually become a great housewife. She it's very zany for a long time, there was very insane music where she's like, I don't know how to use a chainsaw. And she's like whipping it around. And like, you know, like getting cutting off the scarecrows head. I don't know how to do dishes. She just when the kids are done eating she just takes the whole tablecloth and takes everything on it and puts it in the sink and just gets a hose and starts hosing it down. There's a lot of zaniness, like she she vacuums up the cereal out of the cereal bowls, she has no idea what she's doing. But let me tell you after a month of this, she gets pretty good. She really bonds with the kids a lot. Dean is constantly like, going off to drink with his buddies and, and go and play bowling and whatever. And, and actually, he's also working a second job at nights. So he's not around a lot. And so she finds out one of the kids doesn't know how to read, she teaches him how to read the principal. And the teachers are really horrible towards the kids. And she goes in and defends them at one point and basically tells them that they're pieces of shit because their kids actually are sick and they're like trying to make them take a test. So they avoid being intimate. So that's a big plus you're like Oh, they got he's not having sex with her and be like You owe me lady. Oh, there is one moment where you're like, get an awful close to that. Don't do it. Okay, you didn't thank you. And he's making her sleep on the couch to better her back. However, eventually they do sort of fall in love he he tries to tell her the truth, but no one lets him like the kids are like, No, you are our mom. And he's like, No, we found you. We put you here we took care. You're not the woman. And they're like, No, you're we love you mom. And like his best friend is like no, no, we all went to high school together. I don't know what he's talking about. Like, he's just being he's just trying to cover for me like, no, no. And Dean's like what the fuck dude? I'm trying to be honest and tell this woman because she can't be here forever. And his best friends like Yeah, but your life your life is better. You guys bought together so no one will let him tell the truth. And in the meantime, he fakes her birthday to get out of explaining away something else. So they go in and celebrate the birthday together where they fall in love and have a big kiss any they tell a story of romantic story about the sea and whatever. So, um, meantime, Grant, who's off having sex with everybody and anybody he can and apparently has gotten his boat to El Yeah, he's gone up to LA. So, um, I don't know how they're gonna get to New York anyway, physics, whatever. He's, he's sleeping around and Joanna's mother keeps calling and it's like, I haven't spoken to my daughter in a month. If you don't produce her, I'm gonna send people to go and cut off your balls. So he's like, I'm gonna go find her. goes off to find her, of course, finds her in this crazy situation. She soon as she sees him, she instantly remembers who she is. And there's this really heartbreaking scene where she's just going through a recounting like, Oh, hey, oh, my god, Dean. Look, it's Grant Oh, my God. And then she's realizing a little little by little what all has been deceived to her. And so she goes back with grants. And the kids really miss her Dean really misses her. But he's like, she's gone. It's over. And of course, the kids are like, No, we have to go and rescue mom. And she in the meantime suffers from major Stockholm syndrome. And suddenly, she's now a good person. And she's like, hanging out with the crew of her boat. And she's like, doing shots with them. And she's drinking beer. And everyone's like, What the fuck is wrong with you? And she's polite. She's getting the serving tray and offering people snacks. And I think she's a broken human being personally. But that's okay. I think he just destroyed by and she's like, but she's like, I'm in love with this guy. And I'm gonna go back. And so of course, it's a 1987 rom com, they returned to each other. There's a beautiful scene, but it's definitely my favorite scene in the whole movie where the kids and Dean are on the boat. At the end of the film. They got a coastguard bow and they're all wearing life jackets. And they're looking at her and their little glasses, and she pulls up her binoculars and looks at them and they're all looking at each other. And there's this guy who's narrating on the boat for the Coast Guard where he's like, there seems to be a woman off the port, sir. And then she jumps in the water. He's like, woman overboard, and then you know, what's his name? Russell Crowe jumps OVERBOARD, MAN OVERBOARD. Thank you. And then her husband is pushed overboard. And there's a third man overboard, sir, as extremely sweet. So even with giving you guys basically the entire plot, it's, it's a really sweet, wonderful, heartfelt 80s movie that if you ignore the horrors of fact, this one's been kidnapped and brainwashed to become a perfect housewife. If you ignore all of that, it's extremely sweet and wonderful. So definitely feel free to check it out. Um, the things I liked about it that Coast gardener narrator is incredible. And I have a fun fact about him in a minute. But insane 80s Rich people costumes are very good. Just a lot of gold and crazy hair and crazy like lifestyle stuff, but it's just of its time. Very good. And the acting like across the board is pretty pretty solid. You do feel her sense of falling in love with those kids. I don't like again, that is really fucked up. Music is super fucking wacky and awful and repetitive. The ABS comedy feel is so over the top and zany. It is literally a screwball comedy. So if you like screwball comedies, this is a perfect movie for you. I like the nostalgia of it. And the fact that I was raised on this and that's what I love about it. But if I had not seen this a million times as a kid, I'm not sure I would love it as much. Also, people from Oregon are not hillbillies. I don't know where this comes from. But they're like really like, oh, yeah, those Oregon unknown Ian's like, no. Okay. All right. Some fun trivia taglines include she was born to spend. He was born to offend. There's only way they could fall in love. By accidents. Yeah. And from opulence to rags to love. Not good, not good taglines. Um this is illusory make of the Cary Grant so feel the red comedy houseboat from 1958. The plot was also influenced by an Italian movie called swept away from 1974. It was in fact filmed in Newport, Oregon and features the flag on the yacht from the Seattle Yacht Club, as well as their Seahawks and Oregon gear through out. The rocking motion of the yacht caused a lot of the crew members to fall asleep while shooting. Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell's own young kids were always with them during the making of this film, the youngest Wyatt Russell, who we all know Yes, took his first steps on the set. Kurt Russell's father being rustled plays the sheriff, the Coast Guard spotter, who's the guy who's yelling things, is played by Gary Marshall son Scott Marshall and he does a perfect job. During filming Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell hosted a barbecue for the whole cast and crew. Dean profits old Dodge pickup was later used as the pickup that tailgated Chevy Chase and his family in the opening scene scenes of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. The yacht that is Joanna's yacht shows up in the film and decent proposal. The Coast Guard ship also appeared in Baywatch in Colombo. It was built in Tacoma. There are just ships man, I didn't realize that all of these vessels just get reused over and over and over again by film so that was really fun. Kurt Russell says that this movie and Captain Ron are the two movies everyone seemed to have on their boats. Looking back on the film, Gary Marshall thinks that it's still one of the funniest pictures he ever made. One of several films, Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell started together including swing shift Christmas Chronicles and of course, Christmas Chronicles part two, Han took a 15 year break from after acting, to work with kids. So we haven't seen him her a lot in recent days, is because she started working on a program called Mind Up and she's really passionate about it. And I found a lot of interviews of her talking about this thing that I'm like, you sound like a crazy rich person trying to help the kids but whatever. Um, this film has actually been adapted several times. It was adapted in a 1992 Hindi film Latka latke was adapted by a Malay lum in 1997 movie called May a pom pom mom may have fun man. It was adopted in a South Korean TV series in 2006 called coupler trouble, adapted in Switzerland in 2012. In live on under unfold, and in 2013, Russian mini series wife rented it was remade of course in 2018, starring Anna Faris and Eugenio the, their their buzz, but the roles reversed where their Buzz is a wealthy man and Ferris is a single mother. The southern release has the new 2k span and an interview with the screenwriter. The way in which they got this movie is of course probably the best part of this whole thing, which was discussed in their seven films podcast. Basically there was a heated conversation with wine involves some drunk texting someone put in an offer the offer was accepted before they sobered up. And they were just like, Okay, we got this foam base that they were pretty limited with what they could do with it. You're just suffering really sick. Exactly. I slipped I slipped cover. or Yes, there you go. overboard. Weird. Yeah, this poster is not that good. But there's another poster I like a lot more for it. But yes, looks flicks Great. Did a great job. So that is my movie. I think I saw this way back down, but I don't remember much of it. I think that was probably not something I thought was very good. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But you know if you need some comic relief, if you're not feeling good, it's a good movie. It's wrong. I much prefer Captain Ron I think I haven't seen Captain it's also quite stupid but All right. Well, Eric, I kinda hate you because I chose from 1994 hell bound. Now, Pete has crossed into our world to reclaim his power shattered uncover more than a secret. Amanda was murdered last night in Pulaski Street was a rabbi potties They're bound to bring back more than a killer to the men. The sector was broken into nine sections. Kills bound to the most terrifying enemy he has ever known to keep up the gates of the heart right out of his chest welcome Chuck Norris no info or budget or box office because it was released straight to video two years after canon had filed for bankruptcy. So no Rotten Tomato critic rating audience gives it 32% It was directed by Aaron Norris and Norris directed Delta Force to sidekicks top dog all of which are Chuck Norris shells because Aaron is Chuck's youngest brother. And it was written by Brett V. Friedman who wrote movies I like the resurrected ticks Necronomicon The Book of the Dead? Yeah, it stars Chuck Norris, who is known for breathing air only five times per day. And for having no chin beneath his beard, but instead just another fist. It also says Kelvin levels. He was in eight heads and a duffel bag point of no return adventures in babysitting. This is a very bad actor. Also stars Christopher nema. You might recognize him from suburban commando Ghostbusters two and steel Don and Sherry G Wilson who was in Crime Wave easy writer to and 196 episodes of Walker Texas Ranger. Also 127 episodes Dallas Alright, you guys, this fucking movie opens with a Star Wars crawl. It is literally a hello words crawling up the screen and into the distance. And then we see a group of Templar Knights who bust in on this ancient cold who are preparing to sacrifice a child to the devil. It's shot very badly and looks really cheap even though it is shot on location in Israel. So they've got all these really ancient buildings and everything and they don't do a fucking thing with it looks really bad. They they save the kid and kill the coat later. Or do they? Oh, and then they smash his scepter into nine pieces. Then in the 1950s some grave robbers opened up the tomb of the cult leader and accidentally raised Him from the dead. And then in the 90s were introduced to police detective Frank shatter his partner Calvin Jackson, who are roughing up an informant in an alley. So then we see a scene with a prostitute getting dressed in a seedy motel and the John that she has been with is none other than the cult leader who hasn't aged a day. His name in this is luckily she misses him off and he throws her out the window where she lands on Frank shatters car. I like Frank because he comes from the the old cop fro no time for backup. And so he goes rushing in there with a gun tells his partner Calvin to call the cops. Like guys aren't the cops. But he goes up there and he gets into the hotel but in the dark you can't see it lock Lee's face and luckily kicks the shit out of him and escapes just as shatter shoots him like three times just like how could I have missed at this at this range, but I must have because the guy ran away. So then shattered Jackson are called into investigate the death of a rabbi who's had his heart ripped out of his body. Calvin Jackson has a very hard time with this thing. The heart is really bothering him. And in fact, throughout the movie, he is bothered by the amount of bore of these killings and stuff like this and I'm just like, Alright, once or twice, it's fine, but this acting is very, very bad. And and on top of that, French chateau is bothered at all by as you can imagine. Did you know that Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball. I found this out in my research so. So, Catherine Jackson are assigned to accompany the rabbi's body back to Israel. And when they get there, they're told by the local law enforcement that they are not allowed to do anything but be tourists. So they enlist the help of a little kid who will actually know this, that they get into this weird thing where they stop a fight between kind of an older kid and a younger kid. And then they send them off on their way. And Calvin Jackson finds out that the little kids so as well. So they catch the older kid, and they enlist him. He has info on the guy that they're looking for, although they still don't quite understand who it is that they're looking for. And they go and talk to, they're looking for this particular scientist, or archaeologists who would have known the rabbi when they get there. He's not there. But his assistant Leslie is Leslie is quite attractive. And she and Chuck are hit and off pretty well, to the point where Kelvin, at one point says, Hey, I'm here to this is the level of humor, right? As if maybe she'd also be interested in him, you know, for three way or something, but I don't believe she is. So then Leslie introduces them to the professor she's working for and it is. Dun dun dun luckily the guy that Chuck in fight, but he didn't recognize and remember it was dark in the place. But it actually turns out that Lockley is pro set panels. Who has either an evil spirit or an evil wizard or something along those lines, it doesn't matter because both of those ideas are stupid. We through a series of really badly filmed scenes, we find out that Lockley is actually hunting down nine rabbis each have a piece of this sector that was broken, you know, at the very beginning. So by killing them, and then he's going to have to sacrifice a woman of divine blood, then he can raise Satan. Cool, you guys. I was I was just just drinking wine and watching this movie. angrier and angrier. It's, it's shot so badly. That I mean, I'm sure that Aaron Norris probably shot a lot of the Walker, Texas Ranger stuff. But this looks like that. It looks like early 90s television. It's shot in Israel, you guys it's shot on location in Israel. There's just history all around them, and a bunch of really bad shots of that history. And it's so long ago that you know, some of the shots I was like, Oh, this one looks great if it was lit a little better, or something like that they come upon this really cool building. And it's just you know, it's shot at night. So the building is lit by a blue light that I guess it's supposed to be moon or something and then it's just dark behind it and all this and you know, nowadays you'd go in there and somebody would just go in digitally and make the stars pop or something like that and just make a cool looking shot. But there's none of that in this movie. Here's where the kidnapping comes in. Luckily kidnaps lastly and although there's no ransom there's no way in hell I had time and have to watch another movie. So this one had sucked all the joy out of my life. I was like this is the movie you get there's a scene where Okay, wait Okay, so Sharon Jackson they have to fight him rescue the girl and save the world which they do and extremely boring climax because depending on how these movies go, and who is starring in it what is required to stop the evil is exactly what this person can do. So for in this movie Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the devil because that's what he's best at. You know, in end of days, Schwarzenegger kills the devil with gigantic guns. You know, it always happens to be whatever these guys are good at. But maybe you go hey, let's not put Chuck Norris in a movie where he has to fight the devil. Because Roundhouse and Satan is not that cool. It's kind of odd brand for Chuck Norris stuff. Well, that's my point. Why don't we give him villains he can roundhouse kick in Satan's ass. Chuck Norris movies once you get out of the 80s No nosedive. I mean, you know, he kept his career going with Texas Ranger, but yeah, he's movies where Steven Seagal probably watched a couple of Gundam did I'm sure and the tone of this movie is so weird because it's almost like they had made a police academy movie with all of the latest humor of that, but then threw in some supernatural elements in it because at one point, Jackson is upset that shatter made him call back to Chicago to their chief to give a report instead of shattered doing it that he then insinuates to the chief who has an older unattractive woman that shattered is interested in her and so then she gets kind of you know, followed and all this and I like this is this is the level of humor you guys are gonna go to and then there's there's like a running joke where Calvin gets his wallet stolen repeatedly and you know the it's just it's just really bad he is the the humor in the movie and it's it's mildly racist humor it's not funny it's just like a boy very basic 80s Police Academy style humor but you know i don't i The tone of this is all over the place and all of it is off so yeah, I don't usually do this but I'm gonna say give this movie a really hard fucking pass I do have some trivia. Okay if you want to listen Chuck Norris his enemies just check the extinct species list. Oh Chuck Norris can speak Braille you guys know Elon and in the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris. Oh yeah, I do have a tagline mess with this Chicago cop that shelled out my fucking movie angry Amazon review on angry again I am so sorry. I thought this sounded so cool. Obviously Kelly picked such a good movie and that allowed me to feel free to pick like something that wasn't super genre you saw the year and the I have gone do is tell me how how bad could it be it's got Chuck Norris in it right we're gonna have at least some good fight scenes. There is a fight scene in the dark Chuck Norris gets attacked in his room when the lights are out. And so all you see are like silhouettes flashing by a window and stuff like this. And then you know and I was like, now did something happen? Was this supposed to be a better scene? And maybe Chuck was under the weather and they're just like hey, we're running out a time on this so we got to do we can do I don't know what it is but it did not work. And they have then got all right. Look you guys don't care about the ending of this movie. If you wanted to watch this you would have at the head. Lesley is shackled like a spread eagle on an altar this this underground lair and they're trying to an on I don't know what they're trying to do. She's chained so she's got like locks. They're they're trying to pick the locks I guess. But they keep having to stop to fight off process, dinos. So they'll start working on it and then all of a sudden Calvin will get the shit kicked out of him. And Chuck has to go fight prostatitis and then he'll roundhouse kick him or something and he'll disappear. So then they go back to work. He got the cheese like four times. And meanwhile, she's just spreading along this author light and she keeps whispering something and the sound was so bad that I couldn't quite hear what she was whispering but she does finally tell them look. It's the it's the staff that he has put back together, you know, the nine pieces he has put back together and that's how he's gonna raise Satan. They're like she's, she says he can be killed by the staff. And so Chuck runs over to it and grabs it and throws it at him and it stabs him and then the guy I feel bad for the actor, because he has to kind of lurch around. Well, this fog is being pumped in and really bad. Earthquake effects are happening and he's he's making a noise that I think they probably thought Hey, we'll fix that in post and make that a weird wailing, you know? But instead it's just him going. I was, I was just, I was feeling the movie got a lot more amused in my head because when you said, Lesley, I pictured Leslie Nielsen. Me too. It's just, well, this sounds sounds hilarious. No way. It's not Leslie Nielsen. I thought perhaps, I mean, she's quite attractive. You know, and there's a theme. There's a scene at the end where they're going to kiss. They're in the airport. And she's like, I hope I'll see you when I come to Chicago. And he's like, you definitely will. And they get close. They're about to kiss. And I'm thinking to myself, I'm not sure I've ever seen Chuck Norris kiss anyone. And it gets interrupted because Calvin is in the back and some TV sporting event. Somebody has won something. And he's like, Yeah, all right. And so they turned to face him. And then he goes the check for his wallet. And his wallet. His gun. Oh, no. And the kid who stole it is running and the we get an ending that is a you know, a stop screen. You know, what do you call that? Freeze Frame freeze a freeze frame. Thank you. And it's the kid ah, like this running towards the screen, and behind them, Calvin. And then credits roll on this freeze frame. So what's the coming session? Yeah, Vanessa, do not let me down. Yeah, no, I'm so sorry. Kelly. That sounds god awful. I did it to myself, you guys. Chuck Norris did that to you? In his wrath? Um, so? Yeah. So something that I've been thinking about for a little bit is there I always have this backlog of movies of things that I've told people that I will watch because they've recommended them to me and they sound awesome. And I'm like, I will totally watch that movie. That is my pick. I want you guys to pick a film that you have been meaning to watch have promised somebody you would watch. Pull it out and watch it. Oh, yeah. A lot of those movies for me are movies. I always kind of feel like our homework. So it's like a lot of classics that I probably should have watched. But But this has to stay within our genre. Right? Um, it would be good if it was within a genre. Yeah. So it doesn't have to be necessarily just horror movies, but it should be a genre film. Okay, but then yeah, this this may or may not be a great excuse for me to watch the DVD. That's currently there's a there you go. That I borrowed from somebody so All right, well, I like it. I like it. Okay, this is the part where we thank everybody for participating value for value program for liking and sharing posts or racing to share the post the release date first. All of that stuff. We love it. We love you. And we can't thank you enough for it. Yes. Thank you. Anything else guys? No, okay, can we do this in person next week? Sure. Hope so. Right? So I think so. All right, hopefully my black velvet painting will be framed and hung there we go. Alright guys, let's take off we are coming back in one week and we're talking about movies we were promising weed watch at some point oh, that's gonna be the title. Okay. All right. See you guys strange aeons radio was artisanal quality podcasting, handcrafted and all natural ingredients and edited to perfection by Eric market. Our blistering theme song is strange aeons part one by the band nightshade is usually the permission. Find us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. And if you enjoyed this episode, please consider dropping a positive review on Apple podcasts. Run don't walk through your local website.