207 MERRY CHRISTMAS!

207 MERRY CHRISTMAS!
The gang disrespects Henry Cavill before diving into their thoughts on the holiday -themed Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale. Also discussed: Fresh, Scrooged, The Midwich Cuckoos

Transcript

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Oh, I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? Somewhere between science and superstition such sights to show you strange aeons. Welcome to strange aeons radio. That's Eric over there. Hey, Lou. That's Vanessa over there. Hello. I'm Kelly. Hey guys. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Misko. So we're recording this on the Sunday before Christmas. Yes, we've got snow in our forecast, which is kind of neat and kind of shitty. But you've got a truck. Yeah, you have a kind of truck. I've got studded tires. We're good to go. Except for the fact that even the lightest amount of snow shuts this state down. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Immediately. Just ridiculous. Yeah. Well, no one knows how to drive on it. And everyone thinks they can still go 70 Which I think is hilarious. And then they're just crashed on this other road five minutes later. So that's great. And we do have here Well, there's certain areas that have just like, I've got this stupid thing in my driveway. Which if you look at it doesn't look like anything, but it's got two weird pits that are like little cliffs. Oh, and going up them or down them. And it goes right into a fairly busy street. It's been a few times I've gotten down again. Well, let's hope nobody's coming. Here I go. Yep. So big Christmas plans. Vanessa, you're all decked out. Your halls are all decked out right now with a Christmas sweater. It's true. I got my one Christmas sweater on. So that's exciting. I did get a tree I cut it down myself and flocked it on my porch. And so that's exciting. My place is decorated with all the stuff so yeah, use your chainsaw for that. No, I didn't. They they have hand saws. They're cool. So that was that worked out. Well. Did you just go into the wooded area behind your apartment and steal a tree would have been so smart to lay see there's a tree farm there. And it's been pretty good because they have a lot of trees so they don't just sell out immediately on Thanksgiving Day. So nice. Good. And you Eric. Anything? I mean, it's the place decorated we managed to put up a tree this year. Oh, cool. Still Standing which I'm amazed. Command Okay, cat. Yes, exactly. But we do have fake tree, but it's nice because it's pre lit. Yeah. And the fake trees used to look really awful. Yeah, they look pretty good. Yeah, they really do. And Dina has an allergy to pine or some part of pine trees. So put that up. Bam. Lights. No ornaments are on it right now because we put one on as a tester and it was gone. It was like just staring staring is like crap. Yeah, well decorating the tree. My cats were literally like, we're not allowed to touch this. But we have so much anxiety as they were running around in circles and then just chasing each other around the tree. But every time they went to like that it I was like, ah, and they're like, dammit. We hate you. Well done. How about you Kelly? Oh, you see the the extent of my decoration. I've got some lights around the window for the first time in years. You got a box the dura flames. It's ready to be cozy any moment. It definitely is cozy in here. I'm not a big fan of Christmas but that's only because my parents were killed by Santa Claus. Makes sense. Oh, that's sorry to hear that it's all coming together now. Enough about that. Did you guys see that trending right now is hashtag fire James Gunn White's. Oh because he because of Superman. So I need to ask you guys did we love Henry Cavill as Superman I did not I thought he was fine. He looks the part but the guy's got the personality of a cardboard box. Yeah, I didn't I was not precious one way or another I've seen so many Batman's coming out that I was like whatever what doesn't matter I yeah this whole thing of all of a sudden now fire James got this is what we were talking about was Do they really want to let the creatives in to do this because James guns obviously has a plan. The question mark will really be let's see the first film he does that gets you know opened up in theaters and see the numbers because as much vocal illness as there is on the internet, it does not always equate to actual like these people still go and see the whatever the Have you? Yeah, I mean, the the buzz on the internet doesn't necessarily mean a damn thing. Yeah. Was we back with Snakes on a Plane? Which was just this huge giant internet? Oh my God, have you seen this movie? Look at Samuel Jackson. They had to read it so we could swear and all that stuff. And it opened up and bombed. Yeah, crazy. So crazy. Now there's a lot of noise, usually made by probably 40. Things probably started by two people and couple news outlets. Look at this Russian and now suddenly, hundreds are just making such a weird world we live in, right. I mean, just recently, we saw that with the rerelease of Morbius in theaters. I can't believe they took that seriously. That's wishful thinking. You guys to get myself in the Christmas mood. Yeah, I watched a movie called Santos slay SL ay. With the wrestler Goldberg as Satan's son, Santa. Oh, Satan, Sam Santa. Yeah, you guys didn't know the real meaning of Christmas and that he had lost a bet and had to be nice for 1000 years. And the 1000 years have ended. Oh, I like that. Really good setup. And now he's back. The crazy part of this is that the movie opens with James Caan. And he's got a family of people that I kind of recognize the movies from 2005. But they're a bunch of assholes. And then all of a sudden, Santa drops down from the chimney. And they're like, What the fuck and he proceeds to kill them all with their food. That's your way to go. Is that That's Goldberg. Yeah. Yes. I have to admit, I had a good time with this movie. I was like, Yeah, ridiculously bad. And 100% entertaining. Love it. Well, I for the first time ever. I watched the movie. Scrooged Oh, this is a first time. Time. Yeah, I've only ever seen the scene on TV with a fairy that like Twinkle fairy lady and I hated it so much. I was like, I'm gonna hate this movie so hard. No, only that part. I only hate that part. The rest. I was like having a really fun time. It's a great Christmas glass is yeah, it was like Bill Murray's personality through this whole thing. I don't know if he was like improving or if he actually was supposed to be that deadpan the whole time. But I was like, Fuck yes. This is great. Like the insanity like what he was saying as he was being pulled from thing to thing. I was like, I would definitely be in that same camp. So open deaths stomach seeing a bunch of like crazy. Screaming dead souls. Close it. Okay. I'll make a admission here. I've never seen Christmas vacation. Oh, really? Yeah. Do you like the first vacation movie? I love the first vacation you like probably like it. Notice. I didn't ask about the European vacation. I think there's a lot to like in European vacation. But you can find stuff but i i I really liked it. We watched. I think that I'm not a huge Chevy Chase fan. And so maybe that's why I've stayed away from it. I mean, I don't think it relies on Chevy Chase so much. Is that the writing style of the vacation movies? Which is why I hate it. Because I have no sense of humor. We know this. Yeah. And also you hate John Hughes somehow. Well, only in that light. But yeah, it doesn't Scrooge kinda like predict the film that opened at the Santa movie that came out this year. You know, Sam has kind of John Wick whatever that. Well. Yeah, it wasn't it like Lee Majors has to rescue Santa from terrorists or something. In screws. Yeah. In one of the commercials, yes. Oh my god. It didn't feel very familiar at the very opening scene. I was like, huh, I think I've seen this movie. Nice. It was very good. Oh, no Christmas movies here. But I did watch one called Fresh, fresh I mean, have you seen this one? I've heard about it like snow. No. Snow like cannibalism. It starts off it's gonna be a you kind of movie like that Netflix series. And boy, it gets dark and gets really it's actually pretty damn good. I found it. Very entertaining. Really well done really interesting. I watched nothing about it. So I had no idea what it was going to be right. So when the changeover happens I'm like, oh shit. Okay, cool. Is this like a horror film or what genre is shutter center? Okay, for sure. Washington. Maybe it's Amazon Prime but it's hard jacent Okay, more like not a procedural show. But the if you Your Criminal Minds background you know what happened before they started investigating? It'd be kind of interesting and it's a film or or. Okay, gotcha. All right. That's pretty good. You guys ever heard of the Midwich? cuckoos? In theory? I feel like I've heard the phrase at some point in my life. It was a book that was then adapted into a movie called Village of the Damned Yeah. Then remade it. Okay, there we are. Yeah, there is a British television series now called the Midwich Cuckoos that I've been watching Holy shit. How is that it's fucking fantastic. I good kind of blown away by how much I'm liking it. Eric came in while I was watching it news. What's this a some kind of thing with creepy kids. And I was like, Are there any other kinds of kids? But it is some kind of thing with creepy kids. And it's the same thing where this tiny little village Midwich experiences this weird thing and for 48 hours everybody in this particular area just kind of falls unconscious. Then when they awake, all the women are pregnant. Oh my god. Yeah, that's a good setup. I mean, like in the carpenter. That's my favorite bit of that whole film. Oh, of course. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm really liking it. I had to get it through nefarious means because I can't find it streaming over here anywhere. You don't have Brit box. What is this is the British TV streaming service. I've only recently learned about it. So that's I think where a lot of stuff is ended up my mother in law and sister in law love that streaming? Yeah, of British mysteries, mystery shows. So I can't guarantee that good stuff is on there. I don't know what's on there might be all the crap that I avoided when I lived there. But who knows? I see in the credits of this. It's got like an NBC Universal logo. So I imagine it will be coming over and probably end up on peacock or something. Um, so that sounds so cool. Well, I saw another Christmas film since we're just in the season for that. It's kind of like a horror film. I saw the Family Stone, which is a family rom com. Boy brings future fiance home to meet the family. That fiance just happens to be Sarah Jessica Parker. And whatever character they wrote for this lady is not a human being. I was like, the whole time I was like, That is not how humans are at all in any moment. Anytime recently. Okay, I was gonna say Sarah, Jessica Parker doesn't look like a human anymore. So I think they probably wrote her to be like, 17 or 18. But she was definitely like, 30 Oh my god, she's like, dumb, but she's supposed to be like a working professional, like rich bitch, but also, like super cuddly and naive, but also, like crazy when she's drunk. And I none of her motivations lined up. I was like, I don't know what you were told to do, ma'am. But everyone else knows what movie they are in except you. Like everyone, it would have been a completely passable C, not even c plus not C minus steady C film set for you. And now this movie is like, I felt like I was on crack. I was like, I cannot. I cannot wait this film. So yeah, trying to catch up on Christmas movies I have not seen and that was one, Diane. She's great. So it's a romantic comedy horror movie. No, it's just a romantic. It was a horror movie to me of trying to figure out what I was looking out with my eyeballs. Also, there was a lot of like weird homophobic stuff that you're not sure if it's supposed to be acceptable for like, I don't know what year 2000 2002 or something. And yeah, I was like, This is not okay to say out loud. She's like, well, you don't you feel bad for having a gay son, though. And everyone at the table gets really quiet. Like, it's just normal for this time. We're not I don't know. And like, are we supposed to sympathize with this character or not? Because she says something. And then she's like, well, you don't understand what I mean. And I'm like, I don't think anyone would be okay with the statement at this point in time. But okay. Anyway, I would say that is a fucking weird film. And that's what you're saying. I'm saying? Yep. Hard pass. Hard pass on the family. Stone Parker complete. It's only my uterus calls occasionally. For these movies, and I answer and sometimes I'm like, fuck you uterus. Why would you do this to me again? Okay, all right. Good. I'm sure she taught her uterus how to use foam. That's amazing. So a few years ago, I read a book called no exit by Taylor Adams. familiar with this one. No. It's a story of a woman who gets trapped in a relatively nice but arrest area during the middle of a snowstorm. I think it's somewhere in Colorado. Yeah. And they recently did a movie based on it also called no exit. Yeah, I saw the trailer for this. The book is really good. A very claustrophobic very you feel like you're in a situation with her where you can't go anywhere. And the things are hard to do. And there are very specific scenes that stood out in my head. This movie is none of them. It's not bad. Yeah. And if I hadn't read the book, I probably would like it a lot more. Because it's got really good acting. It's got really neat performances and does does well on the twists, but has far more characters. And I remember there being maybe they were in there and they were just eliminated so fast that they didn't really stick around. But is there like a serial killer or something stuck there also or what? No, it's a couple of people who have kidnapped a kid that's in the back of their van. Oh, okay. You need to figure out who's what's going on? Why the kids there who involved in it. So it's pretty, it's good. story sounds remotely interesting. Definitely read the book. Get it from your local library. Yeah, this episode brought to you by no accent and the Public Library system. How about we take a little break. And then we're going to come back we're going to do something a little different. For this episode we're talking the movie rare exports. Opening now with Sears our Christmas of Red Ribbon back, including Sears best selling video games video arcades are on sale now for only 134 99 Our lowest price ever. And don't miss the full assortment of game cartridges available at everyday low prices. Or try your hand at Sears wide selection of one and two player handheld sports games. Our everyday low price is 12 to $13 lower than last Christmas to wrap up our beautiful Christmas. You can count on Sears and we're back. We're doing something a little different this year. Instead of picking a bunch of Christmas movies to talk about we thought we just kind of focus on one because quite honestly, we've gotten through most of the good Christmas movies but we're running out of content Yeah. This year isn't great but a lot of new fodder has arrived but that being said generally Now had I seen Santos slay last year I would have suggested we do that. So maybe maybe next year you go anyway with that in mind we are talking about rare exports it's the most magical time of the year when traditions are honored and the youngest among us still believe in the spirit of the season we found something else than just playing rocks and dirt. And there's like a giant ice box for storing what drill deeper bear the dynamite you our grain guys, it's yo me ask Santa Claus selling my book when you're sleeping when you're awake knows if you've been bad or it doesn't kill you and exports for Christmas I assume we have all done a rewatch of this sir half. Okay. This is a 2010 film it is finish from Finland that is LaPlant. Box Alesci budget of 2 million box office of Bell 4 million Rotten Tomatoes. Critics have it at 90% The audience has a 70% which is a little surprising. Yeah. It is directed by a boy Jamari helander, who also directed big game, the fuck here and sisu it was written by him. And you saw Holanda who also wrote big game and the faqeer and Petri, yolk Maranta, who also wrote big game and produced this big game and see so so you can tell this is a very tight knit of a tight knit group of people. And you really going to see that once you start getting into the actors like your motto Mila, who has 52 credits, including priests, priests of evil, big game and see sue his son on the Tamila, who has 12 credits the fakir big game and see Sue and Peter Jacobi who has 19 credits, including this one called Revenge office, which I really like living images. And he died in 2014. At the age of 73. He plays the the main health. And as you guys watched, but I did not watch there are two short films also called Rare experts. Yes. That kind of led up to them, I guess getting the funding for this. Correct? Yeah. Let's talk about this wacky movie. Thanks for taking the names. Indeed, yes. Well, the basic storyline is so it's hard. I don't know if this is a mystery movie anymore. You know, I can't remember the trailer if it tells you in the trailer, largely what's going on or not. I also don't think it's an under scene film. I think most people have seen this movie and it's 12 years old. Yeah. And I feel like there's a weird dependence on people having seen the short film. Having watched the short film after I was like, I feel like you're supposed to see that first. Oh, that's great, because I had the opposite reaction. Was you should watch the movie first. Yeah, then watch the shorts. Because the movie takes it. The shorts are taping the movie and it's true, but it explains so much of like the basics that I was like, okay, okay, I got it. I got it. They explained that all by the end of the movie, too. So it's kinda like all right, you guys, you're gonna have to fight it out. different opinions. But how are we going to do that on this show? My first, my first vote on watching the movies. I think the movie does a better job of introducing us to what's going on fairly slowly. The short films did by just here it is. A few of the actors two of the three mains from the shorts continue on in this the lead guy I think is the sniper from the short films. And his son is his son. The sniper. Yeah, I really read them were in it was one of the recast Yeah, one of them was I just thought he got older and fatter was like, Oh, this guy was in better shape. Back then. We'll start off with an American and British tea was on hold on a speaking English. That was weird. I was trying to figure out if I had the subtitles. But, you know, I'm like us. Well, not so much anymore. But unlike us movies for years where it's like, we can't have subtitles no matter what. Most of the people watching this movie in Finland probably speak English. Right so but their The idea is this was the Finnish region of Lapland is believed to be the home of a Finnish folklore figure that helps shape modern versions of Santa Claus. Team Leader Riley realizes that this is a very dangerous or very important burial mound and they're hoping to find what's imprisoned. Did they reveal that it was a burial mound right at the beginning? Oh, okay. I think that's the myths that they hear the guy on the guy running the thing I think said something about it. Okay, because as soon as he when he started handing out the new rules, right, no smoking. He realized what they had Add. But on the side, you've got a couple of the kids from the local village watching what they're going on. And of course, afterwards get an argument about whether Santa Claus is real or not. Right? explosions happen. Because you know, how else do you take a giant hole on a mountain? The locals main way of making money is rounding up reindeer. And when they bring in the notice of all the reindeer coming in, suddenly they have to stragglers. They have to figure out what happened. And they go to the base of the mountain and find hundreds of slaughtered reindeer. Right? They appear to have been maybe eaten somewhat, or at least partially. Partially. So they go up on top of the mountain because they're pissed off and blaming the people on the the outer folk that come into their world to destroy their business and realize they're all gone too. So that kind of sets up their world and what's going on. And but then on Christmas Eve, somebody trapped in a good old man. Yeah, prior to this, the kid is doing research on Santa Claus with all these books. And I'm like, Where in the world? Do you find a book that shows Santa Claus as evil? I know they have some Krampus type imagery. They have a lot of Krampus Yeah, but all the books he's looking at Joe. Santa is basically a punisher of children. It's so funny too, because there's like, 25 of these books like it like in depth, ancient art, like he is. This is somebody who's researched for a paper, this particular topic, but the dad doesn't believe in Santa. And I'm like, so the dead mom. Right, really into Santa research, apparently, because I don't know where else these books came from. He's not it's nothing as their local. Like we mentioned earlier, there's no local library at all. There's a very, very, very, in the middle of nowhere group, you know, closest neighbors four miles away or whatever, probably right. I wonder if that's more related to the way the finish legends of Santa Claus started? Where he like, at one point, there's a line like Coca Cola is a lie. Yeah. And now Santa Claus is not that person. Because that whole image came from the what? 20s or 30s advertising from Coca Cola was the fat man in the suit. That wasn't what Santa Claus was before that. So maybe this is more along the finish. This is this is the real story. But not the Danish one. That's racist, right? This is the guy that goes around with him punishing his black something. Yeah, black. Yeah, don't dress up. But like as I'm for Christmas. All this white folk don't be a bad idea. So they capture this naked old guy and string them up, trying to figure out what's going on with him. And he reacts very uniquely to the when the child walks in. I like that. They think he's dead at first. And their first thing is, well, we're gonna have to cut them up and hide him because we don't want to deal with having found a dead body. Exactly. We're done. But no, he was alive. Yeah. And then yeah, he of course is very interested once the kids show up. Yeah, I like there's a weird effect that they're doing on his eyes, where he's gazing around the room and he has that sort of predator when when a predators eyes are hitting a light. Yeah, they become this sort of transparent black ish color. Yeah, it's not a normal human eye. And I think that was a really nice touch. Where it's like, it's not a person. It's an animal. Yeah. I I'll say this. I wish the movie was a little creepier. Yeah. Because Because of scenes like that, I think that it could have been a very scary movie. And it's, it's mostly played for laughs sort of kind of AP. I think that's part of the reason that may be why it's more of the 70 range for crowd because it feels a little bit like what the vampire in Brooklyn or whatever that was called where it's like, am I a comedy? Horror? Am I sort of a combination of both. So the kid now goes looking around the camp and has found that all of his all of the children are gone. All the children are missing all the radiators and ovens anything that generates heat is stolen. The potato sacks have been emptied and the sex of the install so good. I was like, wait, what? When they first went into that same goal, what are their budget? Is that how you store your potatoes? Just, I guess, kinda short snack for that. And at this point, most of the movie The kid believes that it is Santa Claus. And we do tell ya, the content of course being the entrepreneurs they are that lost all of their money with their reindeer being destroyed. They contact the guy who apparently survived whatever happened on top of the mountain and tell him we've got your Santa Claus. Come get him, whatever and send it to you like that they dressed him up. Yes, the coat and hat of Santa Claus to deliver him to sell the idea. And he's not terribly interesting because he knows what it actually is. Right? And they say $85,000 Why not a million. But that's what they lost on their rate, right? He's trying to be only fair. But this man, Riley warns that the cage man is not really Santa Claus, something else. And they must not behave rudely. They must let it hang from there. I mean, we could talk about the rest of the movie if you like. I think that there's a couple of things. I mean, it's, I think we can talk a little bit about that. I love the idea. That was the whole thing that my mom told me as a kid. You know, when you start getting just old enough to go that Santa doesn't look like the Santa I sought this other place. And your mom's like, well, these are all just Santas helpers. So that's how my mom was way to go, mom. Wow, that's really nice. I think, Ma'am, my mom's gonna be listening. I think it was the game's up. As soon as I figured it. I was like, necessary. Yeah, you're right. Christmas is all we can stop pretending everybody the youngest figured it out. I don't remember my moment. But you know, I was a child. So whenever it happened, I was obviously young enough to not remember it. But I also didn't have a bunch of people like your situation gone. Oh, good. Yeah. I think there was a undertone of if you don't believe in Santa, you don't get gifts. So we weren't allowed to talk about it. But we were all like, okay, all right. We got I think that I had, I had like, mentioned something to my brother. Chris was seven years older than me. And I was like, You know what, I'm starting to think that there is no Santa. And he was like, yes, no, but there's no Santa. Okay. Quick and painful. Thank you. But in this movie, one of the things I like we do get to see Santa. Yeah, and it's a pretty fucking great reveal. Yeah, it is that yeah, the Santa's enormous, absolutely enormous. The size of a barn inside of a warehouse and inside of a block of ice and very scary looking huge horns. And everyday I was like, Man, I really want to see him bust out and just No, no, go. Go giant monster style on this village. Yeah, I think that there's a moment that it becomes very disappointing to me when we shift from the idea that we figure out what's going on. And the kid gets an idea of how to fix the problem that they're in. And at that point, the movie takes a sharp turn into like family film, where it's like, the kid is like riding like, on the helicopter, and he's in control. And we're getting real humble baloney. And there's the sparkle of Christmas. And don't worry, folks, it's gonna be okay. Yeah, kids. And I was like, I think at that point, I wrote, I hate this movie. Like, I just want the kid to die. Because I often tell them there were so many neat, dark moments. And then all of a sudden, it was like, way over bubblegum. Well, I think they had to do that, because they weren't going for a hardcore horror film. And if it hadn't, and the kid had been the smart one, the whole movie. Yeah, so he should be the one to figure out and be the champion to solve all their problems. I just felt like it was too far too far. If it had gone as dark as it could have with several 100 naked men running around. I don't think the movie would have had any chance getting getting out in screen very much. So I guess because it's a Christmas movie. I expect at some point it was going to go fun and goofy. Because it's leading up to a good ending. Yeah, it's it suddenly gets wacky though. Yeah, it does. And it's like oh, okay, now we're now we're treating this very you know, with anything as long as your characters act realistically to whatever is going on screen you can kind of buy into it but once like you said he's suddenly now like riding on the helicopter and like talking into the thing and calling the shots Yeah. So I was kind of right there with you. Yeah, I will say like so having just seen violent night. It it handles the kid versus rated are really well. It balances this like really dark tone with this like magic of Christmas in a way that somehow at least almost works. So that's I think that's why this especially stuck out to me. I was like, I want more this goddamn child, and I didn't feel that way up until this moment when he was like on a green screen, like merrily yelling, and I just anyway, I'll stop. I'll stop. I'll say this, I thought the kid was a great actor. He was up until then. kid he was just following the script does a good job delivering what you didn't like. The kid did do a really good job because I really enjoyed him, like, figuring stuff out and like following clues and sort of trying to tell people around him what he thought was going on and not being able to I thought all of that worked super well. I think part of where it came from, too was they basically weren't listening to him. Yeah, the whole time. And then they finally realized oh, fuck, he's been right of the whole damn time. Right? Maybe we should listen to him. Just figure out what's going on here at the end. I mean, yeah, it was goofy to we can blow ourselves up for blow up. I choose to live but I take it you hate home alone? Because that's the entire movie of home alone. Is a kid be way too clever. Well, I mean, as a kid, I left home alone. Because I was a kid. No, I mean, like that's the thing home loan is Home Loan all the way through. If this had been home loan all the way through, then I would have been fine with it. But it wasn't it was home loan at in the third act. First two acts. It was I don't know a different film. I kind of agree with you. I enjoyed it. There's a seriousness he can take movies are there. You know what, this is kind of silly and fun, but I'm just gonna ride with what the filmmakers made and rather like and have fun with movies than grumpy at them. Right, right. I'm working working hard to get more that way. Less than next year Santa sleigh you guys gonna be happy? Trust me. It's home alone all the way through. So yeah, it's goofy to be goofy. All right, well, we have taglines. This Christmas, everyone will believe in Santa Claus. Nice. In 2010 Everyone will believe in Santa Claus. And boy, this holiday season, the real Santa Claus is coming to town. You thought you didn't believe in Santa Claus anymore. From the land of the original Santa Claus. And be ready to believe in Santa again. None of those are super Lost in Translation kind of thing. Probably feels like they were like, oh, yeah, this is a thing that Americans say. And it works. But this is so cool. And I never heard of this festival. And I hope it's still around. It'd be fascinating to go to the movie premiered at the last Toronto International Film Festival. Did you hear that when you're okay. It's I think it's specializing in new and emerging artists. They have a 75 year old film festival in Europe, from London right down the country. But in LA Serrano. can name the city isn't it screens outside on the biggest film screen in the world? 85 feet by 45 feet. Wow, a seven storey tall MOVIE SCREEN oh my gosh, with seating for 8000 people oh my gosh, oh, is where this premiered. Looked epic, like the am all the way it is a movie that is not a front row. And it sounds like a fucking nightmare to me. I do not want to be around 1000 People watching a movie. But if you were in your apartment and you looked out and you were able to see a movie, that'd be kind of nice. Or it was your movie screening there there's an alt read somewhere on Amazon that somebody who did a review that said this isn't the full version there's a 97 minute version out there and I found no reference to it except for one UK blu ray release said it was 97 minutes long. But there's nothing anywhere about it was being cut or this is not an approved thing or you know there's the website that shows you comparisons of what's been cut out nothing was on there. So I think I kind of think that UK website was incorrect and Miss stated that it was 97 minutes because how much different from the movie we watch just that yeah 82 I think is oh so that would have been a chunk Yeah. Different so I was figure that the I mean the DVD would have reference to let's say you have the blu ray with the special edition it would be on there no some reference to why it wasn't would be it wasn't included would have been on there but there's another cut out 15 minutes of swinging Santa Cox could be various there's there's a lot of old naked man, penis sure Insurance? They come in all shapes. Yes, yes, they do. Some of them are like 97 years old, you're swinging that well done in the cold. It's true. Anyway, like 1000s of CGI ones. Somebody had to build that. Yeah. There was a cock wrangler in the credits. Well, there actually was something close to that. Oh my god. He's written about or in the making of how every naked Santa because there really weren't that many in the end. Yeah, had a escort that had a blanket with them. So instead of waiting in line for somebody, hand them or whatever, they all had somebody that immediately was there to give them a blanket because God it was cold. It's a finish snowstorm out there. And they're old people. Like you're gonna murder these humans. They're not prepared for this. Let's see. Oh, so there's two short films we've mentioned. The first one was called Rare exports incorporated in 2003. And the whole thing is kind of like a hey, here's what these people are the best in the world. And everybody's afraid of them. The the marker, the sniper and the tracker. And they work in teams of three to hunt down. And it's played for laughs that whole thing was a setup for an end of joke at the end. Yeah, it's like a NatGeo documentary style mixed with definite hardcore, like, underlying, nice humor. Not like haha, but like, nice to cut off. Yeah, yeah. Does it? Are they searching for Santa? And these two okay, hunting them down. For you know, they're rare export, right. The next one is called Rare, rare exports Incorporated. The official safety instructions came out in 2005. And it's more like a cautionary training video. Yeah, it's like, this is what went wrong when these people opened their Santa package, and they all died. And these are the rules. And this is why you follow the rules. And the reason you can find so many is the filmmakers are really smart. Almost all the dialogues narration. So you're not just hire somebody to do whatever language you need. Yeah, you've got the hair and whoever narrated them in English was great. Really good. Really good job. We told you the rules, but you didn't listen. Yeah. Too. Much more emotional story in the second one. You know, that's a lot more like grim. Yeah, it was. It's interesting, too. Yeah. Because they they talk about how sad it is when they have to, like put down a Santa and how they're like really, they're so rare and like an endangered species. And then they have like a little graveyard. And they plant evergreen in the heart of a dead Santa and the the kid who was way younger. Yeah, really little like not quite toddler but you know, he's just so young. He's walking through the graveyard of Santa is like decorating the little trees that are growing out of their graves. So cute. So cute. One of your favorites. Both of your favorites. Roger Ebert now ordered the film three and a half out of four stars calling it a rather brilliant lump of coal for your stocking. I don't know what that means, sir. Do you like it? Do you not? I don't. rather brilliant lump of coal. That sounds. Oh, my interpretation would be this is a dark film. Yeah, that's giving you Santa Claus. So it's a lump of coal. wrapped with a Santa Claus. And he gave it a three and a half out of four out of Oh out of four. Okay. All right. All right. I'm with you. Now. I got it. Peter Travers called it the greatest Christmas film of all time. I guarantee you. You're correct on that one. Let's see he calling it a Santa Claus origin story cross with the thing. I understand where that I know exactly why? Because they're sticking it out. They're digging something out and they don't understand what it is. Okay. The first two minutes. Remember, Roger Ebert hated the thing. Yes. So yeah, no, I remember looking at that going that they just steal this from the thing. Like why is he like this far underground? Jesus Christ you guys and then when they dig him out, and it's like a big block and they're Oh, what is what is it we really got in here? I was like, Ah, all right. All right. I guess there's so many movies where people dig shit out of the ground at some point that I think it's just one movies the origin of all of that's going Yeah, I mean which the thing I guess because thing from another world was long before carpenter. Yeah. And they did the same thing. Can we talk a little go back a little bit to the story. The the legend is some tribe had captured Santa. And then frozen him in a lake. They tricked him into being over a lake. And he fell through the ice and he froze. And then they buried that block of ice under a mountain of ice. And then they made a mountain basically around it would wake couldn't you just leave him in the ice? Well, what if the ice melt melts? And I would think that it would melt under a mountain. Well, he stuck in the mountain, maybe. I mean, the ice just stays the ice like, yeah, you're right, it does get warmer under the air. I don't know. Well, if there's something to generate the heat, it will otherwise it just sort of. Yeah, just stay there. It was. That was a lot of rocks. I was like, This is too. This is too deep. It's unbelievable. Plus a very large amount of built. Yeah, really, unlike the stone was compact. It wasn't like lumps of stone. It was like sheer rock. Maybe it was ancient, ancient peoples. I also had, also, can I just point out one thing, so when they are like, Okay, we lost $85,000 worth of reindeer. And they're like, we're pissed. And we're gonna go to the top of this mountain, and we're gonna go get our money back from these asshole miners, excavators, excavators, and they're not there. But all their equipment was there. I was like, Could you not like that one machine that one digger there is probably 100k Just grab it. Just grab it. There's no one here. Just grab the equipment and resell it. People. Well, I mean, two things. There is a record when you sell something for that much and you will be found it. Oh, that doesn't belong to you. All those things have a title to them and but also I think that we're supposed to that's what they do for bikes. I think we're supposed to buy into the idea that these guys are, you know, salt of the earth that bad guys? Do they just want a working class, man, they just want what they were Oh, they don't want to take somebody else's like the one guy saying just 85,000 When whoever the VAT but for whatever that guy spent to do that excavation do all that stuff. Obviously whatever he's looking for was worth a lot of money to him. So right one guy saying well might have a million? Probably something like that could have paid but like you said that would have been dishonest. Yeah, correct. Correct. Yeah. All right. I just was like, there's a soft here, people. I should say I enjoyed this film overall. Like I actually don't know that. I did see I thought I'd seen this film before. And I'm pretty sure I hadn't. Because watching it I was like, constantly surprised. I was like, oh, okay, that's interesting. Oh, that's fine. Oh, that's a lot of swinging dick. I don't care about that. That's fine. But you want to remember when you've seen a million swinging old man dicks. I've, I've there's so it's a cliche for a reason. It really, really is. That was fine. It was really just the swinging child. But I was sent the sniper after him. So how many kids there were like six missing kids. And then they take off with that bundle of kids in a net. And there's like 50 of them in there. I was like, were there maybe they found other kids from nearby villages. Next, there's also a lot of radiators and stoves. True. True. All right. Was that all of the trivia Eric or did I derail you? Oh, there's lots of little weird shit. The more interesting stuff we've recovered, in one a crap ton of awards from film festivals and finish film, state awards, film and crew earn further awards. I think it's because it's pretty unique. There's yeah, there's a lot of in 2010 that we're you know, of course, it's like Jack Frost and the Silent Night deadly night movies in a few dark Christmas movies. There's been a lot since then. This was one of the better executed, wants to just kind of kickstarted up again, I think. Agreed. Agreed. Yeah, and this was made by a Finnish commercial production company, as well. So it's I wonder if they started by making those shorts as a way to like, kind of sell their services. And the second one, they've got like this big CGI explosion moment with Santa like flying through the air. So I was like, Okay, were they doing these originally to try and get like drum up some business, but they seem to know what they're doing. For the most part, there was only a couple of CGI moments in 2010 film, low budget 2010 film that was like, Ooh, I don't know about that. And I was like, that's, that's good. That's really good for yes, everybody running across the mountains candidate at the end of sort of like with them walking past The boxes with the worst part. I was like I can see your outline yo. Come in further. Really? We should mention that you can watch this film on Hulu, which is how I watched it. Yep. Sam. So it is available there if you haven't seen it. I think it's definitely worth watching. For sure. For sure. It is a really fun good. It's not mean spirited. It is not a mean spirited horror film. Like some others that I hated last year. Oh, to tell gremlins. No, the one with a babysitter. Oh, I like that one. Yeah, that was a good one. It was very mean spirited. And you're watching. Yeah, better watch it. Yeah. I want my time back. You know, another one that I kind of forgot was a Christmas film or at least takes place over Christmas. We can have that argument after this, too. Do you guys ever see that one? Oh, yeah. The parking lot. Yeah. It's a creepy little thriller. And it takes place over Christmas Eve. I think it works well in that world of why have I not heard of this film? Yeah, it's not super great. But it's really really just a solid, fun movie to watch. Yeah, yeah. I wanted to SQL. So it could be P two two. P two, part two. p two p two. All right. Listen, I can move on and just go p three p four. P five. Exactly. Step up to the awkward. Speaking of arguing about this stuff. Diehard Christmas movie? Yes. Eric. Honestly, I really don't care. It shows up every year that goes on. Yeah, sure. It's a Christmas. It takes place during Christmas. In that way since Christmas movie. You know what? Eric doesn't understand how a hypothetical question works. You just answer yes or no. They don't answer with idle care. fucking dick. If it had stopped being an argument, I don't know. 15 years ago, sir. Oh, let's talk about it. But people are very opinionated about this, which I find very fun. And I do also like that there's now a whole bunch of other movies that are starting to pop up. It used to just be diehard now. It's other movies. Well, so and so's a Christmas movie too. Well, you know, I will say it's hilarious. Living again. I'm sorry, I bring this up. I feel like such an asshole. But when I lived in England for 10 years. I know I'm sorry. Well, you get it you lived in. So there are a lot of Christmas movies over there that are not Christmas movies. They are movies that are shown every Christmas. So Mary Poppins is considered a Christmas movie there. Because every Christmas it is shown so all of a sudden they're like, Oh, Mary Poppins design a Christmas movie. I'm like, What the fuck are you people talking about? And there's probably like a good 10 films that they roll out that they're like, no, no, these are Christmas movies. So your idea of a Christmas movie we all need to get a little bit larger sighted about it. We don't need to be so petty. Well see that actually makes sense to me and I'll tell you why. I think that whether you think diehard is a Christmas movie or not depends on your view of Christmas. My it takes place all over but Kelly, it takes place over Christmas gather around, gathered, it takes place over Christmas. And if you are not a religious person, and Christmas is just a day, then that is definitely a Christmas movie right? But if what you want is a movie that has some of the the Christmas feeling of giving and family and all of that stuff. Mary Poppins actually fits that way better than diehard right? So I can kind of see it. Yeah, I can see it's really tough this argument as well because then it's like, is it religion that makes people feel like it's a Christmas movie? In which case there are a lot of Christmas movies that don't count because they sure don't have religion in them. Most of them most of them. Yeah, it's you know, like, is it because they say God bless you. God bless us everyone. Does that make it a Christmas movie? It's like okay, cool. We snuck it in there you know there's there's a certain amount of I'm not sure what is qualifying for people on what they consider to be a Christmas movie. So I think you're right it's just kind of like what makes sense to you and your What are you going to gather around and watch this Christmas so you know this discussion? Yeah, makes the whole thing we're talking about not the Facebook and Twitter things that are usually there's no it is it used to be is no it is it this context? Hell yeah. It is. Well, there you go. Yeah. God bless us everyone. I showed it to my mom a couple of years ago diehard and she loved it and she was like, I can't believe I've never seen this movie and it's had a really sweet, wonderful little moments in there and I was like, You know what? Yeah, this I feel good watching this at this time of year. This is a great, mom. You became a mother fucker. Absolutely. Oh, oh, I did like now I have a shotgun missing Nakatomi tower advent calendar. Oh, I miss where it's the guy falling for each day. Oh my god. Very good. Very good. So Nakatomi will not be joining us for the rest of his life All right, okay, let's wrap this up guys. Tell us what you thought of this episode. And if this is how we should go forward when we're doing these kinds of themed holiday episodes, you can tell us at 253-237-4266 Leave us a message. Let us know if you liked it. Let us know if you like us. Let us know if you don't like us. Let us know if we should fire Vanessa, we're still on the fence. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I think this is his old fence. News to me. I want a wider fence. Like this thin fence situation. Also, thanks to everyone who's liking and sharing posts, who's donating money who's joining in on the value for value model all of that stuff. We really, really appreciate it. We love you all very much. Merry Christmas. And a special shout out before you wrap it all up to will for his, as he termed it Christmas present to us that he sent in to pay pal. So thank you, sir. Oh, thank you. And of course, thanks to Danny Willeford. Because if you are getting one of our Christmas cards, that is something that Danny got all worked out for us. So I can't thank him enough for that. Carlos. Carlos took our picture. It's just one big happy family over here. We have some incredible fans, and you can be one of them. Just have a listen to our show and sign up for our podcast. There you go. Did I did I check it correctly? Now? All right. Yeah. All right. You guys get the fuck out of my house now. I'll see you guys later. Man. What are we talking about next time we do a show? Oh, yeah. We are talking about? Hey, Eric, is your pick? Yes, I guess it is. For next time. I think we should talk about one last job. Can you explain that? My guess you know, like, Wrath of Khan might be an example of one last job where Kirk has to take over the enterprise. One extra time happened and one last time and then of course then again for the next God knows how many movies was that one last job movie? Yeah, he came back out of retirement. He had given up the seat. He's supposed to be there on like, we're holding the enterprise out and he's there as the admiral to see it happen and things don't go real well, yeah, he's like, It's okay kids. Yeah, you got this you can reverse the engines. Like the first 10 minutes. Would you like us to do the C? No. Always like that. They're they're all over the place that wants to retire that yes, I'm forgiven. Right. Okay. I got you Vanessa. Do you get this? I think so. Okay. We'll see. Okay, well hey, Merry Christmas again and happy holidays and do your thing. Merry Christmas at celebrate just feel free to leave a message of your Festivus on arts. air your grievances. Alright, see ya. 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