ENTER FANGRUARY!

ENTER FANGRUARY!

Vanessa returns,and there is much rejoicing as the gang continues with vampire flicks. 

Also: True Detective, The Beekeeper, and a spirited discussion of La La Land

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Oh, I'm sorry, did I break your concentration somewhere between science and superstition such sights to show you strange aeons. Welcome to strange aeons radio. That's Eric up there. Hello. And that is Vanessa up there. Hi, Vanessa. Hi. Oh my god, it's so exciting to be back. Welcome back then on vacation. Did you do anything cool while you were off? Yes. Let me tell you how many times I got stuck with an IV. Begin there. Um, you know, I gave birth to a human being about a week and a half earlier than expected. So that was my adventure. That was my I know how tough how fantastic. And I don't know if you have listened to the other episodes. But everybody congratulating you and Steve and Michael LeBrons are calling in and I thought that was so nice. I was a great call. Oh, that's awesome. I will, I will actually have to hunt that down. Because unfortunately, I have not had a lot of sleep. So if I have time to brush my teeth once every three days, that's a pretty exciting adventure for me. But I can't wait to listen. And thank you to all the notes that I saw from our different listeners on Facebook that I did manage to see. And that was so kind. And thank you so much, guys. I really, really appreciate it. What's, let's see, what's your favorite part right now about being a mom? Not being pregnant? Yeah, I mean, it's everybody's experience is completely different. But my third trimester was pretty rough. I had a lot of pains and aches and because you know, you gain like a lot of weight in one specific part of your body. So moving quickly, normally, or quickly, is like out the window. So having the ability to move around and lift things and drink caffeine and sushi and alcohol and all that stuff is awesome. Like I love that I can just do the things that I used to do. So that's that's been pretty cool. I'm also yeah, having a baby is nice, too. She's great. The birth Lanta easily or as well, as could be expected, I actually went pretty well. Um, so a lot of times they tell you to expect to be in labor, especially the first time between 25 and 35 hours. At least Yeah. And a big chunk of that's the first part. So don't don't think that the whole time you're pushing, you know, you're not pushing the whole time you're pushing maybe three hours. But like, most of the time, you're just in like, Oh, this sucks, but it's doable. And then it's like, oh, this really sucks is doable for like a little window. And then it's like, oh, I'm pushing and it fucking sucks. But it's not doable, but I'm doing it. So for me, it was only 16 hours. So yeah, so it was it was fast but furious. So a lot of pain, a lot, a lot, a lot of pain. I got to an epidural before I even did two centimeters. And I'm almost ashamed of that. Because you gotta get to 10 before you push, and I give up real quick, but that that shit is the bomb. That stuff when they're like we're gonna stick a thing in your spine. And that sounds bad, right? That sounds like it's gonna suck. But at the time when you're in that much pain, you're like, they're like, it's going to be like a be staying and you're like, fuck me up. Do it. I don't even care. Just fucking, I don't like get a hatchet in there. It does not matter. So that the labor went very well for a first labor and she she came out in a slightly difficult position. But it was I didn't know so it doesn't matter. recovery time for me is a little longer than normal, but it's all going I'm just happy. She's healthy. Like she made it here. She's healthy. I created a human being. She has my eyes and my eyebrow shape. And then she has mystery hands. I don't know where they come from. Yeah, somebody's hands. They're not mine. To just to enormous hands, enormous feet. Enormous, long, long limbs. I'm just gonna be fucking tall so well, your husband is not exactly a sharp person. So I have a feeling I know where that part came from. Yes, yeah, I cannot wait to see what GNC brings to the table. It's going to be His people. And my people are very different looking people. His people are tall, Viking, blond, blue eyed humans, all of them, all of them. I went to a family event, they were all that. And mine are all kind of medium height to short, brown hair, brown eyed variants. So we're the potato people. Were short enough to get the potatoes out of the ground. That's what we're here for. Well, we are so glad that you are back. Yes, it's so good to be here with you guys. Yeah, big, big thanks to Steve for sitting in. And we will see how this goes. Going forward. I'm hoping pretty soon we can get back to semi regular in person recordings. Yeah, hopefully, we'll see how the next couple weeks goes. But I would also love the same thing. Yeah, and it's just yeah, it's really, really great to be back. I'm so happy to be here. Yay. Well, let's just dive right into what we normally talk about, which is pop culture, Film, television. cartoons. Bam. Okay, I know I'm tired. But Jesus, guys, I'm aware. Before you got on Kelly and I were like, oh, like, let's make sure we go over all of this. Not really. Not really. Well, I watched something that I bet you guys have played around with started. True Detective Knight country? Oh, yes. Not yet. But it will feel free time indeed. Well, it's only a couple episodes in so far, but it's quite good. I don't know exactly where they're going with this. But I'm listening to a lot of other people, TV reviewers podcasters. And stuff like that, saying how they're really leaning into the supernatural on this one. And I think they're going to be very disappointed. Just because it seems like it's supernatural. And I'm almost 100% Sure, there's going to be a scientific explanation for for what they did. My first thought was that whatever drove the caribou off the cliff and the men into the ice had to be some kind of Sonic event that they were playing around with, like, the H A RP machinery up there. And it drove people crazy and something like that. But then in the second episode, they started talking a little bit about the biology stuff they were working on up there. And I was like, well, this could also explain it to so I don't think it's going to be as supernatural as everybody wants it to be, although, obviously, the ghost of Travis Cole is a supernatural thing, but only one person saw him. So maybe you didn't see him at all. That's true. And I mean, I do think that there is something that they're setting it in such a cool location, you know, somewhere where you're gonna get rid of all of the lights for a certain amount of time. They're counting down the days from the number of days since it's been total darkness. And I know that that can affect people's mental situation, pretty heavily and in season one of True Detective I felt really similar. Like there was a lot of weird, spooky, eerie things. And then it didn't really pan out to some crazy, you know, supernatural event. And I think that you're right, I think maybe the season will be like that. And I was kind of interior laughing. Every time I saw people were like, it's HP Lovecraft. It's Cthulhu it's blah, blah, blah. I'm like he really really, I mean, this, it is some of the best writing I think I've ever seen on television. It's incredibly well done. There are so many good lines in there so many great moments, so many nice little surprises and set pieces and even the corpuscle is just Eric when you get to the corkcicle It's brilliant, brilliant piece of actual set design. So you're gonna any of our listening listeners are going to absolutely love it. But as far as it actually being supernatural I think I'm on the same page as you Kelly. I expecting it's going to be something more rooted in the real world. So yeah, I think what's this article so it's just comes out weekly? Yeah. Oh, good. Cool. Yeah. So you shouldn't be what's throwing a lot of people off is that it is the showrunner is Issa Lopez. And she is a horror filmmaker. So I think they're thinking that it's going to lean into the horror of sin. believe because of that, but even if you remember, tigers are not afraid, which was a brilliant movie, all of that stuff was happening. Or maybe it wasn't right. It could have very well been the girl's imagination that was doing all of that stuff in her own head. And I think ISA is that kind of person. And I also don't think HBO just said, go ahead and do whatever you want with this title. I think that they have a brand there that they're like, it's called True Detective. It's not called horror detective or occult detective or anything like that. So I think that they'll let people kind of fuck around with the eerie stuff, but they're not going to do something that they come right out and say, kaboom, this is magic or something. It's a tentacled. Creature. And by the way, how good is Jodie Foster and this like, so good. So good. Oh, my God. So good. It's also a it's also a strangely horny season. I mean, I guess the first season was pretty horny. But there's a lot of sex a second. Yeah, there's a lot of sex and, and you know, Jodie Foster. I was like, wow, this is a, an interesting route to go. How so? Because she's, she's lesbian in real life. Is that correct? Well, yeah, not that. It's just that. Yeah, she is lesbian in real life. But I mean, it's an interesting route to go in that both of the women in this are using the men in their life strictly for sex. Yeah, no, that's beautiful. I love when shows you that stuff. Especially now. It's like, whatever your expectations are, let's just fuck it up is really good. That poor veterinarian man, I feel bad for him. Well, I'm gonna shift gears very slightly. I've, I've seen a lot of stuff. Shockingly, a lot of stuff. Because I have a shifts that I've been doing from 2am till 6am. And sometimes 7am. So I just put things on. Um, but I'm going to talk about a movie that I did get to do one date night in the last three weeks, and I went and saw the beekeeper. Oh, no. How is that? Um, man, is that a dumb movie? You know, I was trying to put in my beds for how many bees you're gonna see in the film. And I was like, I bet there's very little bees. We start with bees, and we end with bees. There's less bees than that. But the B jokes are intense. And this thing goes as far as it can go into this universe like it is. It's like if you took a plot scenario into a kindergarten class, and you said, All right, there's a beekeeper. And then And then somebody else has to say something. And then someone else says something. So and then he has to get revenge. And then it turns out this and then it turns out that and then it goes all the way to the top. And oh my god. It has to be to the queen bee to the queen bee to the queen bee. 100% I'm not gonna say who the queen bee is. But there's a lot of bee puns. There's a lot of bee ideas within it. And the action sequences are phenomenal. Absolutely. Well shot well edited. Well cut well done. Jason Statham feels like a powerhouse bricks through the whole thing. However, the writing is a piece of shit. And it feels very lazy. And for some reason, they're like and many drivers in it for one seat and kind of in the background. And you're like, what? Why are these people there's a lot of like weirdly famous people in this movie, who are not really in this movie. So I think they were just like, yeah, a movie about be like a B guy. Yes. I'll be there and then not really there. So don't see them. Don't get too excited. Well, maybe I won't be catching that. Oh, boy. That'd be cheaper. Okay. So I'll be moving on. To one that Kelly has been demanding I watch for a very long time. Can I can I preface Can I preface this, Eric? Yeah, I sat and tried to watch Barbie. A couple oh my god, I I had a really hard time with it and made it about 40 minutes in and I just, I was like, why am I doing this to myself? This movie is not for me. This is a silly movie and I'm happy for everyone who loves it, but it's not for me. And then I thought, You know what, there is a movie with Ryan Gosling on and it's on Netflix right now. And I Watch that instead. And it was a second viewing for me. I loved it. And I told Eric, you better fucking watch this cuz it's Lee. I think it's leaving my like, couple days. Witnesses out I think it'll be off Netflix. Yeah. Anyways I enjoyed it by the way that didn't wait, I missed it again. What is it? Lala Land. Okay, thank you. Thank you. Thank you almost one best picture but didn't watch it. I thought it was good. It was. Yeah, I didn't love it as much as you think both of you really really liked this one. I don't know. Am I remembering wrong there Vanessa? Did you? Um, I? I found it really depressing. Okay, so I think you had the same reaction. My wife on the other hand had very strong feelings. She said she, her sent me a text saying okay, I love most of that movie. But, and you can quote me on that. The end of lala land was Lala crap it's not a happy ending. Yeah, it. I guess it fits Hollywood esque like Casablanca or something like that. Yeah, but it Overall, I liked it. I thought it was good. It wasn't any. I'll be going to your comparison you just made I like Ryan Gosling more and Barbie because he was so ridiculous. It was just so against tight for him so far afield of what he normally does. And this was still in his wheelhouse to me it still felt like what he does where he plays a fairly even keeled got his shit together kind of guy who's just trying to figure stuff out. And he's great in it. And shit who's in there with him? Is the Emma Stone. Emma song is great in it really good. There's it's a good movie. I liked it. Glad I finally watched it. But I also was kind of like at the end going Well, damn. Something twist to work out. But you know. Well, I I think that I like the old I know that you like musicals, Eric. But I think that I liked the old Hollywood musicals a lot more. And this was such a love letter to those. My complaint, if any, is only that they let Ryan and Emma sing their own songs. I don't think they've got very good voices. Yeah, and I don't know, there was just something about it that spoke to me, probably because, you know, without giving too much away. If you haven't seen this movie, at the end, something happens and, and it kind of does this whirlwind. last act where, you know, it's whatever, but it in my life, there have been a couple of relationships that I thought I could have really saved if I had done one thing different earlier on. Sure. Sure. And so that movie just really spoke to me in that way. I mean, I was bawling on my second viewing, I was bawling when the third act hat when it hits. And yeah, so I would say that you're wrong. And it's yeah, no, I can totally see that. Kelly, like there's a realness to it. And that's why it stinks so much. I think that there is that sort of, it's very relatable and it becomes very grounded. It goes from fantastical and Hollywood and like magical to an extremely grounded experience. And that's, I think that's why it's such a difficult ending. You, Kelly bring up a great point about a movie watching in general and movie opinion in general, that no matter who's watching that movie, you bring your own life experiences to it. So always find when people like, hate a movie. Or excuse Okay, tell me what you what movies you love. I always want to hear what movies they really really like if they really hate something that I think is really good. I'm always very curious about that. Because Carlos and I last night, we're going back and forth about salt burn. And I think he really liked it. And I thought it was GOOD. Solid acting solid directing a story I've seen a lot it has that dances with Wolf problem where it's like a lot of this movie is really good, but I have really seen it before as a story. a lot, but still enjoyed lala land I enjoyed saltburn. They're both good. They're both entirely different. But I'm very glad I finally watched it because it was just one of those big about Hollywood movies and that aspect of it. I liked. I thought that was really, yeah. Fun. And occasionally very painful with the connection and wanting to give up. Yeah. Anyways, I'm going to talk about a movie, I had a couple of listed here that are brand new, but I'm going to talk about a movie that came out last year. And if I had seen it probably would have made my top five movies of the year. I wouldn't elicit it here because it's not a genre. So I'm apple plus, and it's called Blackberry. Oh, okay. The phone. Yes, yeah. That looks and oh my god, it was so fucking good that I was just like, why did this did this hit the theaters? I don't think so. I think it was just an apple plus movie. And it was so good. It was so nerdy. It was so painful. And everybody was just so fucking great in it that I, I just was shaking my head at the fact that Apple plus has, you know, no subscribers. It is the story of the BlackBerry phone. It's the story of the BlackBerry phone, which you know, at the beginning of the smartphone, industry owned 45% of the industry. And by its end, it has 0% and it is really a really neat, you know, 15 year journey of these nerds who started that Ri M Company Research In Motion, and then became blackberry and that were the kings of the world until the iPhone came out. And then you just watch it plummet and it's just fucking great, great acting throughout. I loved it. Wow, you're gonna recognize a lot of the people in an ad. J. Berra shell is the main guy with gray hair, which is kind of odd, because it's very, that guy is probably 40. Now he still looks like he's about 16. So they put gray in his hair. And now he just looks like a 16 year old in a theater play, where they tried to make him look older. But he's still fucking great at it. So BlackBerry on apple plus. Well, gosh, I'm going to talk about something else. I really, really enjoyed and discovered, and I cannot recommend this highly enough. I watched on Netflix, the brothers son. Okay, so yeah, it's another Michel Yao joint. And it's the story of a because I don't think it's Hong Kong, a very important mob family who somebody takes a shot at the father that the head of the mob family in the sun is sent to try and figure out who's behind this and it leads him to immediately go and track down his mother who is in hiding in the US in California. And she has the other son which he has never met before. Who is this kind of dopey college dropout who naive and dropped out, but he's really struggling and he's really into improv improv theater. And not very much like his murderous, perfectly tuned killer brother, and the to end up having to team up through several episodes to try and figure out who is trying to murder their family. It is so fucking funny. And so good. It's got the stunt team behind everything everywhere all at once and a lot of the actors from that as well. The stunt team also was part of paper tiger. So I was really excited and recognized a couple of students and was like, I remember when you were like in that police station that we're shooting in. That's crazy. But it was just it's really solid, really well written really fun, just like a fun martial arts loving show that has great character development. I was trying to figure out where I'd seen these actors from before. And aside aside from Michelle Yeah, like the the two lead brothers are nobody they've been in like short films and that's it. So somebody took a chance on these guys and they're fucking incredible. They're both just great to watch. So I'd say check it out. The brother son su N. Brother on Netflix, on Netflix. Have you ever got a friend across a real find? I think a really interesting creepy dark film called Sleep tight which was looking at canopy for some reason and it was on there's like, yeah, sure, let's check it out. But it's on canopy canopy and I think it's on to B as well. The story is a contours of a nice but not super, super nice apartment complex in Spain. It's a Spanish film. His joy, I guess you could call it is when he makes other people horribly miserable. So he's messing with the people in there. To the point where the one person he can't get to who's just insanely, extremely optimistic woman that just can't drive him nuts. So he's the one he focuses on for most of the movie to the point like where he's sleeping under a bed to do stuff, which that starts fairly early in the film and then it escalates from there. And the acting is great, I believe I think this is by the person who directed the original wreck. Oh, so suspense abilities are on point and really really highly recommended called Sleep tight. I think I saw a trailer for this or maybe I'm thinking of a different one. Is there any kind of supernatural thing that is also going on? I guess is all him doing stuff? That's a horror like it's on it is on comfortable? Well, groovy guys. How about we take a little break? And then when we come back we're talking about we're still in Wait a second. What's the date? Oh my god, we're in February now. They grew weary. Bow. Okay. We'll be right back. Sounds good? Chocula presents. Something happened to Mickey at bay, chocolate, chocolate monster in him comes out. Then double chocolate. Chocolate. With chocolate the marshmallow better satisfies a chocolate monster. In no time. The monster was in the good part of a complete breakfast if you crave chocolate to satisfy the chocolate monster. We have returned after a little bit of technical difficulties there. listener you may be aware that we are into February which is more vampires. So I'm not sure how much longer I can do this. To be honest, I'm getting Vamped out. Hey. But I'm going to start us off first by bringing the timer that I remember to bring in and said something I did not miss. Set to get to 10 minutes, and I'm going to talk about a little movie called Martin. My name is Martin. I'm 84 years old. People think I'm crazy when I tell them how old I am. I'd like to be normal. I just have a sickness. The only way I can survive is by drinking blood it's not easy living the way I do. I have to be careful all the time. I'm pretty good at it. I think as I get older I get better. I haven't been caught yet another kind of terror see people don't understand what's wrong. They think that I'm a monster. I think I'm a vampire realize those things I see in the movies are not really. I don't have a whole lot of women. It's nice to watch them I watch them a lot all the time. I have to, to be sure that nothing goes wrong. I follow them. I plan very careful. Needles now, I can use them. I can put them to sleep. And it doesn't hurt Martin, another kind of terror would like to be like everyone else. I have to do things that I don't necessarily like. I want to stay alive. I do need blood the director of Night of the Living Dead march from 1977 You guys have both seen this? I assume? I barely remember it. But yeah, this was I would call this maybe a first time viewing for me. I did try to watch this when I was like 13. And I couldn't I couldn't make it through it. 1977 has a budget of well, it was listed as$250,000 and then I found a closer budget that was probably$80,000. And I think I got some trivia about that. could find no box office information, but the Rotten Tomatoes critics have it at 90% and the audience has it as 77% Wow, it was written and directed by George Romero, who has 25 directing credits, including Night of the Living Dead and it's five sequels. Creep show night writers the crazies monkey shines the Dark Half. And stars John amplus was 22 credits, including Dawn of the Dead night writers creep show, et cetera, et cetera. You guys didn't want to land down here. Also stars Lincoln Mozelle, who has only three credits, but he was also in the amusement park, which was that weird promo film that Romero did that was just released recently. And Sara Venable who has four credits including Dawn of the Dead. This also stars Christine Forrest, Elaine ado, Tom Savini, Francine Middleton and George Romero in a small role. Okay, you guys, Martin. Craig. I know you love this film. We're introduced to the hero of our film, or I guess at least his namesake, Martin as he is traveling on an overnight train from Indianapolis to Pittsburgh. Martin is young, and he's acting very nervous and he targets a woman very quickly, and when she retires to her cabin, this is an overnight train he sneaks in while she's in the shower and waits for her to come out. He then attacks are quite clumsily, finally sedating her with a syringe full of something. And when she finally succumbs, he lays her out on the travel bed, takes a razor lays down next to her and slices her forearm and then proceeds to drink from it. And she dies as she slowly bleeds to death. So then he cleans up the cabin, tidying it back up and setting the scene to make it look like she committed suicide. I'm not sure if it's supposed to look as amateurish as it does. But it certainly wouldn't fall any current day police officers if this was a suicide. So the next morning, he's met at the train station by his elderly cousin and he tells her at one point that he is much older than he looks at three to be precise. And she she doesn't quite believe him. And we get a few scenes that are either flashbacks or memories or just fantasies of like religious icons and vampiric attacks and mobs of people carrying torches. And these are pretty cool scenes. I was like this is shot nicely. They look cool. They were cool, but we can't tell if any of this is real. But we suspect not based on how inept a vampire Martin actually is. From there, Martin moves on to Pennsylvania, where an old man has agreed to give Martin the room to live in his house alongside his granddaughter Christina. The man is an old Lithuanian Catholic and when Martin starts acting like a vampire, the old man treats it pretty seriously using garlic and a crucifix to try and repel him. Martin just makes fun of him. And even the granddaughter is pretty sure that Martin just needs some psychiatric help, which he is vehemently opposed to. Up to this point, the movie is moving at a speed just over zero miles per hour. But it picks up a little bit when Martin starts calling into a radio DJ who dubbed him the count and then the listeners are loving it when he calls in. So Martin starts working for the old man at his grocery store. So this makes no sense to me. The old man is I'm scared of him gives him a job. And he's delivering groceries. And one of these times he delivers to this beautiful woman and fixates on her and decides she's going to be his next talk target. The attack on her goes awry, though he thought she'd be alone because her husband was gone. But turns out she is having an affair. So he has to deal with two people and eventually prevailing, I suppose not in the way he thought he would, but he gets to feed. And this was the high point of the movie. For me, it is a pretty stressful attack scene that goes wrong. And it looks like he's going to get caught. So there's that scene in, Let The Right One In where the guy tries to kill the kid in the car or something like that. I can't remember exactly how it goes. But it's one of those things where you, you're suddenly caught rooting for the bad guy. You're like, oh, fuck, what are you going to do now? You fucking idiot. So I actually liked the scene quite a bit. But then from there it is a slog to the end with moments of botched exorcisms and Martin eventually wearing a cape and plastic vampire teeth like you'd get at the old toy stores in the 70s. And he even attacks a couple of homeless man and narrowly escaped the police. The ending is pretty solid, which I'm not going to get into but it takes a goddamn long time to get there. So Craig, I didn't care for this movie. I know you love it, and a lot of people do. But I will just say this, Craig, you have pretty suspect taste in films and you know this. So anything you say, has to be taken with a grain of salt. I've got some trivia on this though. The original cut of the film ran nearly two hours and 45 minutes I'll just say this. It felt like the 98 minute version was two hours and 45 minutes. But as of 2021. This version has never been screened publicly and was considered lost until it was rediscovered through the efforts of Romero scholar Kevin crease and the living dead Museum. producer Richard P. Rubinstein cameos in the film as the husband of the cheating housewife victim. Romero's mother in law star Christine Forrest. Wait a second, Romero's mother in law, which was Christine Forrest mother appears in the film as one of the women shopping at the old man's store. Romero's father in law also has a role in the film as the priests that the old man brings in to Martin during the exorcism scene. And then Judith Martin of The Washington Post criticized the film's depiction of violence as well as the critical assign assessments regarding the film's underlying themes such as alienation and satire, the literary vampire writing, Martin is pretentious in a way that pornography is when it's dressed up for people who don't want to admit to their taste, we're not really covered for that. It seems to say that it's just there, because it's an integral part of the story. I guess I didn't write down what I had found out about the budget, which was, it probably did only cost about $80,000. But the producer was not going to tell anybody that they could just make a movie for $80,000. So he bumped it up the budget to$250,000. Because he thought that's what the film kind of looked like was spent on it. And I agree, it's shot well, and mostly looks nice. It's just it's not for me. This is a movie I think could benefit from a remake. I think that we could get a little deeper into the psyche of these people who like to pretend they're vampires and you could, you know, dress somebody up pretty dangerously as someone like this now, and I think it would have a little more heft to it. But critics 94 Seven. Yeah, I mean, 90% I'm not sure where the fuck they're coming from. That was my movie. I've got one minute left. And here goes the buzzer. Vanessa, you want to go next? Yeah, absolutely get back into the swing of things. So the movie that I chose for my vampire flick was one that I had kind of seen like, it's one of those things that you see in library shelves and you just think one day I'm gonna watch this movie. And that was today. I went with 1980 fives once bitten genitals a regular guy with normal problems. I want to but I want it to be special. But marks just discovered that is one nightstand. I haven't had anything this pure since the Vienna boys choir had has been around for centuries and 390 years old 400 If you're a day, Mark Kendall is necking finally happened with a vampire that I enjoy. Now. He's losing his girl. His customers his image, not there. And his mind. Oh, wow, I love your outfits. I'm not wearing a costume. Monster got to choose like you're not gonna mark I thought I knew you looked like Jerry Lewis between His first blood match you've been trying to get into for the last four years and his last date? How would you like to spend eternity with me? Again? I gotta go to college before his future goes up in smoke. Do you like your crotch set on fire? Ooh, Rough Trade. Nothing is sacred. In a tasty comedy was uncooked once you can sink your teeth into how was it? Delicious. Once bitten? I don't want to be a vampire. On the day person. This has Have you guys seen this movie? Yeah. All right. Yeah. This was a Rotten Tomatoes score of 10% from critics 39% from audience, a budget of 3.2 million and a box office of 10 million and that's from the US and Canada. This was directed by Howard storm, who has 52 credits, whose name it's a lot of TV. Also. He did like more committee Full House, Kenan and Kel. Major Dad, Everybody Loves Raymond, a lot of those like 90s and 80s TV sitcom shows, starring Lauren Hutton, who is 61 credits her name. I was trying to figure out like what I knew her from and I saw her credits included American Gigolo and 54 gators, Oro, the Gabe lead, and 21 episodes of something called CPW, but finally, someone's watching me. That's what I knew her from. I was like, of course, the carpenter TV movie that I absolutely adore. That's, yeah, anyway, um, so Lauren Lauren Hutton's very cool. Jim Carrey 65 credits to his name. We all know him. The mask, Eternal Sunshine, Ace Ventura pet detective. And some of them we've talked about on the show, which is cable guy. And then Cleveland Liddell is also in this. He's probably the only other recognizable face 63 credits to his name, including Blazing Saddles, vanishing point, Fletch lives, and some TV roles as well. So the story of this Mark Kendall just wants to get laid. He's a high school kid and a long term relationship with his girlfriend, Robin, who just plain won't give out. We open on the scene of them making out in an ice cream truck, which is obviously Mark's truck, it's his job. There are two high school kids. He's desperately trying to get her to go with him and she just is refusing. So finally, he gives up he steps out into the parking lot and all the cars around him are bumping and grinding away because everyone else is having sex except mark. His two best friends however, convince him that you know what, don't worry about your long term girlfriend not having sex with you. Let's go out on the town aka downtown LA and find a beautiful woman to have sex with you. There's a ton of women out there, we'll just find one who will just do it with you. And then you can go back to your relationship. So that seems like a totally reasonable thing to do. They go to a speed dating bar where there's like all these weird little bones from that era, like shaped like the lips. You can call different tables and flirt with people and have them come over. Mark. It's a call after a lot of bad luck with a beautiful, beautiful woman from across the bar. And she insists when he gets there that he calls her the COUNTIFS. And then of course, suddenly something happens the cops are called in the place goes insane because a crazed husband shows up to find his wife who's been cheating on him. And the Countess whisks Mark away to her basically like Castle mansion kind of thing. Very 80s chic, kind of place, high fashion. And then she kind of pretends to perform a sexual act on him. He thinks that they have ended up having sex but what's really happened is she has stuck out her teeth because she's really a vampire. And she has sex from his thigh. He passes out and the next morning she's like, Yeah, we totally did it. And he's like, cool. I'm not a virgin anymore. Fred. So she is a 400 year old vampire. Who's maintained her immortality through acting, the act of drinking blood from a young male virgin three times before Halloween each and every single year. She has a crew of followers, who helped her out to make sure that she gets this done each year not only to help her look beautiful and immortal, but to stay under her protection. She also has a loyal manservant who is a sassy, flaming black man who will do anything for her and he is very, very fun to watch. So she must bite mark specifically because he's the Virgin. She's chosen two more times. Not three virgin men all across just one virgin three times and it can't be three in a row and the rules of this movie are very sketchy. Meanwhile, Robin discovers Mark's transgressions and breaks up with him. He chases after her. And in the meantime, the Countess is chasing after him. He starts wearing black he finds he enjoys the taste of blood and raw meats and his reflection seems to come and go. So it seems that maybe by the third time that he gets bitten he may also become a full fledged vampire. This movie culminates in a dance battle at the high school Halloween Bash, where the two women fight for marks affection. The Countess ultimately steals Robin and Mark must get her back. So will mark be able to save a Robin from the Countess and her cultists will his two best friends end up in the most cringy homophobic locker room scene ever to grace the silver screen where people are literally shouting the F word over and over again at them when they go to check his thigh for bite marks. Who of you guys that is? Well Mark figured out he needs to lose his virginity before the stroke of midnight on Halloween so that the film can end with him and Robin getting at it in a casket rocking away only to having an up having the Countess open it up and be appalled because her plans have shriveled into nothingness and she hobbles away in her old age. Tune into once been to find out. Um, this is the script is bad and lazy. Like really bad and really lazy. There are so many plot holes like I mentioned, why doesn't she have to go for three virgins? His two best friends are also clearly virgins who can't get laid. So it would be great if she had to go for all three of them. I think that'd be a much better story. Why does she kidnap robbing and how can we don't really see it happen? She's just gone and then all of a sudden he's rescuing or why do they need to check his diet all they could just ask him or his girlfriend could ask him but instead his girlfriend asks his best friends to check after she has a serious conversation with him about being a vampire I there's just a lot of weird baked concepts going on in here. I'm also super problematic between the gay scene in the locker room and also when Jim Carrey runs into the sassy black man. He puts out his fist and tries to call him blood. Just like Cool beans yo, I'm glad we're past this time. You do see a lot of the future Jim Carrey in there lots of physicality and facial flexibility going on in his performance. The Halloween dance off between the two women who are trying to get him to come to them between the Countess luring him with her magical powers and his girlfriend be like Hey, yo, remember me that you dated for all these years? It is such a fucking fun scene like that alone is kind of the best part of the whole film. I think plus the Halloween dance. Just the costumes are really fun. I was like almost taking notes like Man, those are some cool costume ideas. I love this. Um, they also have a theme song where it's like once bitten, doo doo doo doo. It's terrible. It's terrible. Feels phoned in. I'm like, this was your theme song you guys should have paid somebody else. Little bit trivia. By the time this film was released, writer Jeffrey house had blown through his initial earnings and had to take a job as a video store clerk one day and oblivious customer remarked to him. Whoever wrote this shouldn't be working in Hollywood and an incensed House report retorted. You got your wish. The role of the Countess was actually written for Cassandra Peterson, better known as of course, the TV hostess, Elvira, screenwriter Jeffrey house campaign for Michael J. Fox to star in this film, but the executive producer Samuel Goldwyn, Jr. was convinced that Fox would never be able to carry a big screen movie. Jim Carrey is first leading role in a Hollywood feature film as this film and the movie was retitled in various countries translated titles include a sense of production has been the inverse forever in France. The timer go off that's the time virgin boy wanted in Brazil, I love a vampire in Argentina, just one bite in Hungary and kiss princess and Poland. And that's it. That's all I got. This is a bad movie. It's a bad movie. It's a really bad movie. For comedy fan, too. Such as you know, in the order maybe it's the perfect choice because I wouldn't have enjoyed it. If I was a comedy fan. I don't think it's pretty rough. was telling us that Cleavon Little was the sassy gay assistant. He was wow, I don't remember that art at all. But the movie is so bad. It's the I was looking for any gems that I can hold on to to get myself through this thing. Sorry. And so it's my own fault. I did you guys like made the funniest little like sad face hilarious laughing emojis when I said I was gonna watch this movie. So I should have known. But I resisted anyway. So I think better than this, but not much is Love at First bite with George Hamilton. There was a string of those vampire comedies. I don't know why, but that was the thing. Well, we will keep an eye out for that. If I want to invest some time into a comedy and see whether or not I find it funny. It's got at least I mean, it's got one of the more memorable lines from Edie. Vampire now. The creatures of the night. Shut up. Monster Squad that's a comedy. And that's true. Yeah. Good. Okay, Eric, I'll put 10 minutes. I'll be talking about one. No one's heard of Thank you. It's called I like backs. Isn't she just she should put a plus b column for the students besonders. nerve and murder operations bureau in East Kenya station. Lupien your topic triggers pollutants from 1986 I have not. That's price. It has no ratings. It has two reviews total on Rotten Tomatoes. No idea what the budget is no idea with box offices. I believe it's currently available on shutter and Tubi might be for rent as well. And I did myself no favor here by picky Polish film. So let's see how this gets directed by Greg Gore's Warshaw who directed 11 Other Polish films. I'm not doing that. Written by Christina kofta, who wrote David in the magic Pearl and Femina. Greg Morris was also a writer on this. He had three other writing credits. Moving on. Actors. Cutters, Xena, Walter out of reach spellbinder Land of the Dragon Lord. You know, these are all movies I'm sure we've all seen. Merrick, barber switz, who's still working today doing voiceover work. More than 80 credits, almost all polish and Marguerite TSA Lauren twits did a bunch of Polish movies. This one continues my I've got this on seven. So I should watch it series from backset house of psychotic women. This movie opens with the credits and there's this really strange whistling tune or somebody's whistling which is this reoccurs and throughout the film occasionally and it's fairy. It's good whistling but it's odd because it's kinda jovial and creepy at the same time. So it's really interesting that the rest of the opening credits are watching bats hang and eat fruit. So you like that it's cute. Starts with a nice dinner and discussing the potential curse of a painting that has fallen and broken and the nieces, whatever and the ants very much so this is a problem. As the niece leaves the ants puts liens, the painting up against something and then it falls over and thoroughly crushes. So like, oh, they run a Curiosity Shop, I guess you call it they sell things like divining rods and tea cups that look like bats and have a full sized motorcycle in the middle of shop. Which wouldn't be wouldn't be too bad if the shop was not a little larger than a walk in closet. So the motorcycle is half the store. It's very bizarre. A gentleman color shows up who is clearly a friend of the aunt and is having fun time with his prop humor, trying to make her laugh and lighten up. And the guy looks very much like rip Taylor. So the humor is intensified by his appearance. This is a man shows up to ask the I think it's a police officer, but I don't remember him ever really identifying self but he starts asking them about some murders that have been committed. Strange strangulations. But they of course say nothing about it, I don't know. And in reality, they actually don't, which you find out soon. Soon chain scene kind of changes as a nice noun as Isabella is heading to the bus. And then she goes out into the middle of the woods and is playing with bats, basically goes out to this abandoned building or something and plays with bats for a while and kills the man that followed her there and drinks his blood. So she is the vampire. She heads home and this is attacked by the by the strangler. She kills him, and has another nice little meal. It's it sounds goofy, the way I'm describing, but it's actually pretty good. This is a fun film, the wrestling shows up again, as after the killing is this kind of cheerful, haunting thing of the streets of whatever city this is. A man shows up in her shop, and he's kind of David Bowie looking. And Isabella is smitten. She is deeply attracted to this guy right away. And she's discussing things with her aunt, well, Isabella stares at him. And he wants to buy this tea set and say, well, that's not for sale as well. Oh, no, you can buy that. So he buys that. And the aunt goes back upstairs, Isabella, she's following shortly behind the two of them talking. If you don't see the aunt, but when Isabella sits down, the aunt is floating above her. So they continue to chat. Yeah, there is a strange sense of humor in this film. There's a lot of weird little comedy in it. And she kills another guy taking him out into the woods or she kind of dresses up as somebody else. And does the car over the edge behind her. And here the giant explosion with her walking away in the foreground. Moments like this is so oddly out of place to the whole film. But it's cool looking so why not? So she decides she's going after this David boy looking guy and discovers he's actually a psychologist that runs a fairly large very large asylum, for lack of a better word. I don't know they call it paint. It's but it's huge. It's his gorgeous castle. The description about the movie says it's a example of romantic fairytale but also a eclectic architecture. And it is just wild is so neat looking. That she goes there to try to get treatment ostensively but she's there to hit on him more or less than either of those Cesar done very well. So she knows she's a vampire but he doesn't believe her Of course, that's obviously your delusion. They do a thing where they they tried to hypnotize her and create shot of the man working on her trying to hypnotize her and the camera moves around and you can see him in the mirror but she's not visible. Really well done. And for some reason they take X rays of people in this asylum. She can't be x rayed. And they actually lied to her about that. Can I say no? No, we got your X ray. fit she's like, okay, but she has fed up with that and decided she's just going to leave the asylum so she leaves While on the subject there the sense of comparing the way people look like people. The Lead Actress in this has a real strong Catherine Denuvo Miss mixed with Sigourney Weaver look and she is right out she could have been right out of the hunger the way this movie works in so many ways. But after she leaves the silent what will happen next? Will people learn of her affliction while they see the motorcycle in the shop? Does nobody ever mentioned it? Will she play with more bats? Does she loved the doctor does the doctor love her? All of that will be revealed in this the set it's got a interesting look to it. And it also has a little bit of that from dusk till dawn effect where the first half of the movie where they're in the shop and talking seems very fun and almost family like while the second half is or when she goes to the asylum is a really dark, strange film. The similarities of the hunger are not rare. The lead being a blind vampire controlling a world definitely falls into there but also has really good cinematography with some amazing bright colors but also incredibly atmospheric dark lighting and dark scenery at times. It's really neat. The the assignment is a castle in Poland so it is a real place. The there was a resurgence in Polish vampire lord because of the game the Vampire the Masquerade. And I know quite what the Polish vampire lore is different from regular because it seems fairly doesn't catch reflections. I don't think they did religious icon iconography of any kind. The movie Fantasia International Film Festival, and I'll wrap it up right here. It's one of a series of film presented by Kayla Gianni. So things I say are Janice, help celebrate the release of the second edition of House of psychotic women an autobiographical topic right to top Agra fee of female neuroses and horror and exploitation films. She works with several how to and that is a hell of a book. It is a really, really interesting read. Where she traces her life's using the movie she was walking, watching at the time to talk about what she was going through, which was pretty horrific. I like bats. I like this movie. Remind me what the year was. That came out east 8686 Okay, so only four years after the hunger anyway. Yeah. And the Polish setting you know, which happens a lot in European based movies or Soviet bloc films is it doesn't feel at Suttenfield American 80s It feels much closer to late 70s As far as the the look and the way it's shot, but it's pretty solid. It definitely deserves to be seen more than two reviews. Rotten Tomatoes. You could be that third review. That's right at Jays. Okay, so, but this movie didn't benefit from the release of Vampire the Masquerade because that came out after 86 right now just polish vampire mythology was referenced by some of the makers of this movie about his Polish vampires. It's rare, you don't see a lot of Polish horror films to begin with much less vampire movies. So it's a fairly unique film, and just the eclectic nature of vampiric method mythos there, I guess, watching the movie, I couldn't tell you what was Polish centric to it. But rarely, there is some stuff. No, cool. I'm glad somebody enjoyed their movie this year. Or this week? Yeah, yep. Okay, so we know that we're in February, so we're going to be doing vampires again next week. So instead of picking a topic this is the part where I tell everybody thanks for liking and sharing posts for getting on the strange aeons radio talk page and discussing you know, the movies you've been watching and all that stuff. Carlos is still putting up his wack reviews. Said for leaving us a message on the strange aeons radio hotline, which is 253-237-4266 and also for participating in the value for value model, which is basically if you get some kind of value out of this, go ahead and give us some kind of value back you decide what that value is. We can't tell how much you liked the podcast. You can only tell her so I think that's it guys. Um, we are going to be back in seven short days we're talking vampires again. I'll see you next Thursday. Transportation and other considerations for strange aeons radio produced by an am airline. When you think of traveling think of pan and you can't think the experience. Yes, the strange aeons radio stay at econolodge ever. It's an easy stop on the road if you don't love me. Strange aeons radio is recorded live in front of a studio audience. If you've enjoyed this episode, please consider leaving us a positive review on your favorite podcast app. Sit ulu sit. Hi. Oh my god. It's so exciting to be back.