Strange Aeons Radio

145 MORE NINJAS!!!

November 11, 2021 Strange Aeons Radio Season 3 Episode 145
Strange Aeons Radio
145 MORE NINJAS!!!
Show Notes Transcript

145 MORE NINJAS!!!

Ninja November continues with talk of The Deep House, Cop Shop, Angel, and Jakob's Wife. Also discussed: Ninjas, yo!

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I'm sorry did I break your concentration somewhere between science and superstition such sigh to show you strange aeons. Strange aeons radio. That's Eric over there. Hey, Woody. That's good morning. That makes me and this is to ninja November you guys I'm having such a good time watching all of these ninja movies that I'm thinking of making this all ninja all the time podcast. What do you think? Um, I think that's redundant. I seem to remember that some other podcast does that so we really should just stick to what we're good at. You know, we can do ninja November and then next year we could really torture Vanessa and do noir November No, this was my because it was gonna be one of them. Oh, well. Vanessa just hates I mean, look, I'll watch it if I have to. I will find something else to search with an N for next November. Shrug. Just like a ninja movie. I can describe the things that are not needed to be subtitled. You go kaiju patients. Okay, well, I'm having a great time. But I also had a little bit of time to watch some different movies. And one of them. I was surprised how much I enjoyed. It is called the deep house deep house. It is a Blum house film. And I hadn't heard anything about this available to rent. It is about a a couple who have their like, I guess you would call them like influencers are something they have like a YouTube channel. And they go see like haunted houses and shit like this. But they have heard about this house that is at the bottom of this flooded Valley. Oh my god, I saw the trailer for that and looks fucking awesome. I have to admit, it's pretty fucking great. Wow, it's also stupid. Sure. And typical Blumhouse bullshit. There were literally like four scenes that you know, something happens and the hair on my arm just stood straight up. I was like, Jesus, that is creepy fucking scene. It's basically you know, a haunted house movie shot entirely underwater. Wow. And it's, it's pretty fucking impressive. So I would say anybody who's into that kind of shit, the deep house is available to rent. Was that is that based on a book? You know? I don't know. I remember there was I think the guy who wrote Birdbox wrote something called the house, like plastic and creepy and weird. I never read it. Right. But he told me I wonder if both of these are perhaps based on a legend or something that could be Hi. I'm just shocked to discover that bird box was a book. I did a fantastic book really judgmental on the Netflix version is fine. But the book is, yeah, probably one of the best books I'd read in like 20 years when I read. It just blew me away. There are scenes from the book that still sit in my head, like the first time they got into the van to get to go out. And just, it's brilliant. Wow, okay. Hmm. Well, maybe I will do some reading at some point. Um, all the movies that I've seen recently. I mean, it's been October previously, right? Definitely not today. Um, and I've been watching a lot, a lot, a lot of horror film, so I'm really catching up to a lot of your guys's recommendations. So I watched with my mom, Jacob's wife. Oh, at long last. Yeah. Yeah, it was. Yeah, it was definitely really good. Really fun. She enjoyed it a lot. It was very empowering for ladies. Like older ladies. And yeah, it was. It was pretty fun. I will say the ending was weird. I guess. I guess it's a cliffhanger. I'm not really sure. Yeah. But you know, whatever. Frampton is great. Yeah, hopefully she'll continue to champion movies she really wants to make right but she's been in so many things that are moderate but man, that this one is good. It's really far less energetic and entertaining and fairly depressing. Okay, I watched I think you've seen I know you've seen that. St. Mod. Oh, I've been wanting to see that. Feel bad movie of the year after Joy fest. Oh dear lord, and it's I mean, it's a well made movie is but it's dark and a 24. Right? Probably. I mean, if it's not it feels like it. Yeah. Pretty sure it is. But very slow, very depressing. And then the last 10 minutes, like, oh, god damn. So yeah, if you haven't seen it, it's worth. It's worth checking out but it's not any B. Go into it expecting a a two four style film. Okay, better than lamb. I'm guessing. It's got to be it. There's no way anything can be worse. From a 24. But what did you see the sound? Where's it playing now? It was Netflix or something easy? Oh, no, I don't think I had to if I do if I did, it was like three bucks. Oh, yeah. Oh, it surprised me because it's been out for a while. I rented a movie that I loved cop shop. Anybody. I've heard about cop shop with Gerard Butler and Frank Grillo. It's about a guy who? Well, without giving much away, he he gets himself thrown in a small town jail because he knows there's a guy coming after him to kill him. And he's been part of a heist and all this. And then the guy who's coming after him to kill him also gets himself thrown in that jail. And then they end up just basically turning the jail into a big, huge, bloody mess while they're trying to get each other. And it's done by the same guy that did. Why can't I upgrade? No, I'm sorry. I want to call my boss level. Yeah. Oh, real. Okay. Okay, well, then, yeah, I'll put that on the BSC. It's, it's fun. It's not as boss level had a lot of humor in it. And this has a little bit of humor on it, which kind of bummed me out because this cardigan, Guy Carnahan, I think his name. He's, he's known for having a really good sense of humor, and then having Frank Grillo in it again, Butler. So I really thought it was gonna be kind of one of these Comedy Action ones. It's like straight action with a little bit of drama in it. But I enjoyed it thoroughly. Very cool. Well, I just finished a series that pretty much everyone on planet Earth has now seen a script game. Oh, okay. You know, we never really talked me down the end of that. What? What did you think of it? Um, you know, I would have been a little bit happier if it was just one season, and they just tied everything up a little bit more tightly in that final episode, because I was just like, Oh, really? Like, just go see your daughter. Yeah, you like really owe her like hard. I it took a little while for him to do the basic things I wanted him to do. But yeah, it was pretty good, though. Still still fairly. Chop off the last episode. I really really like Yeah, yeah. I'm around towns. Boilers a little bit on this. So for you know, if you're listening, you haven't finished good game. Password. Um, I'll be talking about Angel next. So you'll know when you've reached your neck boy. I was almost horribly disappointed with the ending because of the old guy. Well, because of everything leading up to that episode was so good. And I was loving it so much. And then yes, the twist. I felt really negated what happened in his scene with in the most emotional moment of the entire series. Just that coin flip thing just gutted me. Yeah. And then Oh, okay. I guess he's all right. Well, he's fine until midnight. It also makes no sense. And then also the whole thing with the cop who was undercover in there, and all that turns out to be his brother, who was the guy that he had been looking for. And his brother looks older. I thought his brother was like, just dropped out of college or something because he visits his dorm room. But also, I was like, okay, so he won the prize and decided that he wanted to run the game. I that's that was confusing to me. And then I was like, Oh, does that mean, our guy is going to now have to run the game? Because he won. So I wasn't sure if is a rotation they had to do one or the other. Yeah. made more sense than anything we got. Yeah. So I don't know. It's just like, Yeah, what a letdown for a show that was really loving. Yeah. And I was bombing through it. So like, I saw the, there's the last three people. And then both of the people who don't make it, he makes kind of promises to and then it's like, he wins and then one year later, and he's done fuck all and I'm like, are you okay? No, I know you're traumatized. but there's like a kid in like an orphanage just sitting around for a year going. I don't know what my sister's going to come by. And his and he doesn't actually get the mom back for this kid. This kid has a mom who's supposed to be sent there to reunite the family. And that was kind of that takes time wish and instead it's like, oh, don't worry about it. You can hang out with this other random old lady who just misses her son. Here's the money. Good luck. He was such a loser, frankly, by making that an ending. Yeah, it's like, Dude, you got what you want. Take care of your shit. Go see your daughter. Do your stuff. Do all the things that you're then. Then if you want to come back because you get some boat. Burn your bonnet. You want to do something fine, man. Take care of your shit first. Yeah, that was that was really frustrating me because up until then I was really loving it. That final scene where he's fighting the the friend. Yeah. Yeah. In the squid game. Ah, yeah, she is. Yeah, so. So if you're watching squid game, just watch to the second to the last episode. Not too many episodes, then you'll be happy. Yes. So I'm now talking about Angel. Angel. Hey, is a film that Joe Bob did. Recently, the way they number his series, it's really makes no sense. I thought I was actually watching the way it's numbered. I thought it was his first or it's it's current because they're interviewing. What's his name? The director of Halloween kills. Yeah. But I started watching that going, oh, let's check this out. I'd never seen Angel. Right. I thought I had remember. That's not Linda Blair. No, no, it's the I don't remember her name. But it's the some other type of 18 year old who's on the street is like a high school on the street, but also a killer or something. No, she start well, she starts out that's more I think the SQL avenging angel. Oh, okay. She starts out she's a 15 year old honors student almost in high school and works the streets at night. At 15. One thing they did that was very nice and really surprising for an early 80s movie. She never actually sleeps with anybody. And she never has any kind of a sexualized scene in the film. Which as I thought that's probably a good choice. Yeah, she's supposed to be 15 freakin years old. Yeah. That's a good movie. Oh, that was kind of surprised. It's not like Shakespeare or anything, but it's well done. It's decently accurate. It's, you know, it's a crawling out of exploitation world of the late 70s and 80s. And so it still sort of has one foot in that. And then it's one foot in, what are we going to be next? So it's a, I was surprised by that. Ah, I feel like I've seen it. But based on this description, it's not ringing any bells. I saw I watched it as well, but I really half assed paid attention. I think I was editing last minute project at the same time. So every time I looked over, I was like, What the fuck is this? So I'm excited to hear like what your takeaway was? Because I should have paid more attention to it. But out of what I saw, I was like, yeah, there's a couple of weird characters. I think if I talked about you'll remember seeing or not, there's a old, old west cowboy guy who talks about how he worked with I think Tom MCs, and he tells stories and like, shoots, shoots people. And then there's the cross dress Yeah, across gesture guy who was also on the street with her who is a comedian, who apparently was a pain in the ass to work with because he would say so many funny things, but he couldn't remember them and repeat them. So different angles, so he eventually set up like three cameras whenever he was doing something so he could get all the angles he needed with one take. He was phenomenal. He's really good. Part of the film. Yeah, absolutely. And his fight scene, which I'm sure we'll get into. Oh, no, this isn't a this isn't a breakdown movie this did Joe Bob just have a ton of trivia and stuff on this? I don't think I've seen this. Maybe I'll have to sit down and watch that one. Yeah, it's worth watching the Halloween kills interview stuff feels like maybe you could have just done this as a separate thing. Joe, you're gonna have to include it as part of talking about Angel two because he he breaks he talks about Angel he interviews him or vice versa on each break, right? It's like really long. Yeah, three days to watch. Three hours and the movies probably at five minutes. Just saying yeah, yeah, no, I think that fighting was just so fucking fun because like I was like, Oh, you actually get a hold your own because most of the time like, you get, especially when you have like transgender fights where they Often, like weak, create, like a weaker character out of that, but like this is a pretty large dude. And he's just like, Fuck you, like I'm gonna fight you. For real. It was really satisfying. And the creepiest scene in the whole movie is a guy eating an egg. Oh, did you catch that one? I must have missed that part. Holy shit. I forgot the actor's name. We've talked about him before he was a major like one of the guys on the shield that Vic Mackey protected and then had to get rid of because he became such a pain in the ass. But if he did that, apparently for the audition, it says very strange scene where he's like, looking at a picture of his assuming his mom and him and he's sort of like sucking this egg and breaking it down and sucking the inside out of it out of his shell. Like this is so weird. And the he cut he did that in the audition the directors that were putting that in the movie. Oh my god. Oh, crazy. Well, okay, maybe I'm watching that tonight. I was gonna say why don't we take a little break? Oh, yeah, I'm back we're talking jazz both sides muscles and fights Super stretch. Both sides. Super stretch ninja and many actual stretching from capital. And we're back. This was my pick you guys. Why and why did you pick ninjas? Oh, that's right. Ninjas tonight didn't even pick I had to pick because it's ninja Novem. You were required by no July. I had no choice and a man. I picked a real stinker this week. Oh no. It is called Jim kata. His name, Kurt Thomas. His title three time world gymnastics champion. His assignment, a secret mission for the United States government. His only weapon himself. That's all he needs. combined the discipline, the timing, and the power of gymnastics. With the explosive karate, and the new, all powerful martial art is born. Jim Thomas becomes Jonathan Cabot. He must not going to trade a modern fortress to compete in an ancient savage ritual. And they call it the game. But nobody wins. And nobody lives. Until now. When gymnastics and karate are fused, the combustion becomes an explosion and a new kind of martial arts superhero always born. Jim kata. Oh, I was really drunk when I saw that. Oh, that probably helped. I think it did. I saw this in the theater in 1985. Budget. I could not find box office of 5.7 million. The Rotten Tomatoes critics have it at 17% enough audience has it at 40% Oh, but there's some pedigree behind this. Directed by Robert Klaus Eric. The directed Enter the Dragon game of death and deadly eyes was written by Charles Robert Karner. Who wrote let's get Harry. She lined fury and witless protection. Oh, yeah, that was based on the novel The terrible game by Dan Tyler Moore. Jim Kata is based on a novel that is very surprising that it stars Kurt Thomas, who has three credits, this and then a movie called circus and then a movie called slam. It also stars techy OG biani who was in chemin, Mistress of the universe. Money Pit. Oh, and 100 other credits all Filipino productions. He was also a former Playboy model is quite pretty. And also one of the actors in this is Richard Norton, who was in the octagon, American Ninja, American Ninja, staying away from me. And Mad Max Fury Road. And he was also the stunt coordinator of this movie. Oh, cool. So literally right off the bat one minute into this movie, Jonathan Cabot is approached by the special intelligence agency the SI a play the game. The game is an athletic competition in the country of Parma Stan ever heard of it? Sounds delicious. I would like to go right now. It is a tiny mountain nation which is supposedly located in the Hindu Kush mountain range. Palma Stan forces all foreigners should play the game. Okay, which is basically an endurance race with obstacles, all while being chased by local Parma Stan warriors. If a person wins, then they are granted their life and one wish Oh said Yeah, whoa. So the SIA wants cabinet to enter the game when the game so that he can use his wish to install a US satellite monitoring station, which could monitor all satellites in space and act as an early warning system in case of nuclear attack. Eric, you remember this plotline? Oh my god. Good Lord. No, I don't I remember him swinging in an alley and that's about it. Okay. Whoa, as an extra incentive. Kevin has also told that his missing father was actually an SI operative who was sent to play the game was never heard from again. Oh, no. Guys, this is one minute into the host like this an interesting place to work and inciting incident. We know nothing of you, sir. So the the next part is just a big huge training montage period with his martial arts teacher with a Japanese guru. And a beautiful Palmerston princess named Princess Roo. Bali. Yeah, the Playboy model. And so he just learns how to fight he's now he's, he's approached because he is a US gymnastics expert, you know, gold medal winner and all this stuff. And per Thomas was actually a gold medal winner. So he's taught how to fight taught us how to use swords and all of this shit, because, you know, the game is this race, but all the while you're being attacked by various soldiers and shit like that as you're trying to race. So after this training part, he is deemed ready and sent to the town of carrabelle on the Caspian Sea. A very stupid scene where he's like checking out the princess and everything and his, his operations manager is telling him you know where you're going, and where he's going. And he says, he says, Hey, Kabat. Are you listening to me? Where are you going? And he says, I'm going to terrible on the Caspian Sea. And then we see a shot of caramel on the Caspian Sea with the title card terrible on the Caspian. Whoa, so very, very good. And from there, he's going to infiltrate himself into pharmacy while in carrabelle, he is attacked by terrorists agents in the only scene that Eric remembers are the alley, the alley which has a strategically located bar crossing it, and it looks very much like the gymnastics bar that he trains on and so he, you can see his hands are all powdered up all of a sudden, he starts swinging on this bar and flipping himself around and kicking all these terrorists in the face as they come around the corner. It's, it's quite entertaining. However, they kidnap the Princess, and Cabot quickly raids the terrorist training center and using his unstoppable Jim kata fighting technique, which is never mentioned in the movie. Really? No. I mean, they didn't build the character. So he combines gymnastics and cat latte, but is never once called Jim kata so easily disables dozens of terrorists before rescuing the princess. And, yes, it's just ridiculous. He actually shoots one guy with a machine gun that they dropped and then it doesn't shoot again. So he just kind of throws it to the ground and begins Kicking ass again. So after all this he finally gets a fight in the tournament, which is a fucking joke. No Bloodsport here. It's it's ridiculous. The fact that there's so many bullets flying and so many people hit by bullets and not one drop of blood is ridiculous is like never a squib on a person. But they are all dropping like flies. One of the contestants is the king's right hand man and manager of the game commandos Amir, who was actually planning a coup against the king and will attempt to sell the satellite rights to the enemy. And Zameer also intends to marry the princess that is kidnapped. So this dude constantly breaks all the rules and is clearly trying to kill cabinet and, and meanwhile, the Kings forces have been overpowered by his private army in the coup attempt. So at one point Kabat is the only player left in the game and is about to be killed by crazed villagers because part of this race is you have to run through this village full of crazy people. Oh, yeah. Wow, what a specific task for the convenience. He's about to be killed by them when he is suddenly saved by a partisan warrior turns out to be his missing father. Oh, my God. There. Oh. His father explains that while playing the game, he fell and disabled his arm, but was allowed by Pakistan warriors to live it makes no sense because we are told Yeah, the only way you get to win or live is by winning the game. Anyway. As the two are catching up, Zamir is there and he fires an arrow into his father. Who is dying voice tells Cabot to win Johnny. Tommy Wow, that he dies. Just so you know. Turns out he's not dead because the final scene, Cabot winds and he is carrying his father who we see moving with a check attic arrow hanging out of his back. There's two scenes where people get hit by arrows and you see the arrow fly into them. And I'm like, How the fuck did they do this? It's just movie magic. But it was like God damn, that looked real. It's got the great you know? God, this movie is so fucking ridiculous. Oh 1,000% entertaining. In one scene, so the fuck just there are various levels of ninjas in this so there's the regular ninjas who wear the black outfit, but you know, they're all color coded. So they've got like the red sash belt type thing, right? But then they have those ninjas in those costumes still, but also viking helmets on top of their masks. They've got like these these crazy yeah, I guess not viking helmets because there's no horns they're more like Crusader helmets or something. You know god it looks fucking ridiculous. Like what is going on here? So didn't just only show up when he enters the game or they sprinkled before that they they actually show up when he sneaks in DEP Stan he is suddenly attacked and by the lamest ninjas ever, all the ninja scenes are shot during the day. So just leave them really well very clearly. Thank you ninjas if you have been wearing camo or even a lighter colored costume would blend better into the surroundings. Isn't that the whole thing of Ninjutsu? We'll know by the end of the month I know exactly. Training continues. I have some trivia. Jim Carter earned a Razzie Award nomination for Thomas as worst new star. Oh, poor guy. It has developed a minor cult following as an unintentional comedy, or its dubious premise, poor production quality and strange setting. Maxim magazine lists the film as the 17th the worst movie of all time. Wow. 17th You even get to be number one. The film source material was the terrible game by Dan Tyler Moore, originally published in 1957. A film version of the book was originally planned in the early 60s Starring rockets and but it never got off the ground. Interesting to see him swing on a bar in the middle of a alley I don't think actually had or the book had the the gymnastics angle to it. I think that was added when they got Kurt Thomas. It's so not that this is a trivia piece in here. But I guess that a lot of people Vanessa, we're not old enough to really know what was going on in the world at the time. So the solar satellite program referenced in the film is actually true. This is part of the Cold War between the US and the Soviet Union in hopes that both countries would find territories outside their respective countries in order to plant satellite stations so each country will be alerted in case of a nuclear attack on either side. From that on yeah, good times. Couple of taglines here Oh yes. New kind of martial arts combat the skill of gymnastics the kill of karate. Oh my god Oh and then of course this one I love this world champion Kirk Thomas the master of Kim kala layer of narrow what you do down and you become an expert in that particular for sure. So Jim kata you guys one one in just squeal just squeal up. I love it. Very cool. Um, wow. Well, I feel like I should watch it again sober sometime. No need awesome well, I'll go ahead and jump into mine then. So I asked a variety of people for suggestions on wonderful amazing ninja films. And one was sent my way and I watched the trailer and I was like, I have to do this. This looks incredible. And that is the 1993 film Ninja Scroll. Demo at this new at Scott Scott's? Ah the enemy Yes. Okay. They grew some anime classic. Yeah, that is one of the kind of flagship anime films to come over to us and get people excited about the whole thing. This has a Rotten Tomatoes score of 94% from critics what? From 17 People Superbad and 89% from audience which has over 5000 people. Yeah, yeah. How have I never seen this the winner Suncoast started started with a cure and then just scroll was like the third or fourth title that we're it's like a cure I guess and Shawn and and just scroll is up there. Yeah, yeah, that's a it's I'm not a huge, as I've said before, and a huge anime guy. I like this one, man. Just call this. Wow. It's wild. The budget question mark. I know and no way I could find that. So moving right along. The writer director is a guy named ye shocky. Cows God. He directed 20 things including The Animatrix Vampire Hunter D resurrection, Vampire Hunter D Bloodlust demon city, Shinjuku and something just called x. He actually has a stronger background in animation where he has 56 credits. Um, so since he was a writer and director, I'll just keep moving on his stars. So I'm just going to talk about the leave for character voice actors. There's incredible voice acting in this really stellar people. So the lead is a guy named ko Ichi, Yama, Dara, who plays jubi Keba Gumby, I will refer to him just as GB or the main guy. He has 375 credits, including ghosts and shell. He was spike in Cowboy Bebop. He was in neon. Genesis Evangelion he was in paprika. He was in Vampire Hunter D and and something called Chi su zoar Rory just had Fox on the cover. And he's also well known for dubbing Jim Carrey and Eddie Murphy. And also one of his best known roles is doing the Japanese dub for full house. Okay, this guy's some funny guy. Really, you know could What a character What a talented man the chick? The female in this movie is played by Eenie, Shanna Henri, who plays a character named kaguro Sorry Kagerou I don't know. I'll do my best 123 credits. Perfect Blue Sailor Moon she played Jupiter and Baca Ooh Sentai our ranger, which looks like a dinosaurs Power Ranger thing. The old man is played by a guy named Takashi in no as duck, duck one. He's been in 239 things including a Smash Brothers as Roy Campbell and Farewell Farewell to space battle and Metal Gear Solid three, Dr as Dr. Grandin and Colonel Roy Campbell. So all coming together. And last but not least, the bad guy is voiced by data. Data is souk Suki Gore as Jen Jenna, ma can get OMA just get harder. I wish I could fire you from this pot. Then you have no girls. Think about it. There's 276 credits for this guy. No photo, though. I will say I was there's a bunch of people I skipped over because they didn't have photos. It turns out they're super fucking famous to the point where they don't need a photo. They're like, why would I? Why would I pay for that? I am trying to impress worry. I'm one of the most famous voice actors in Japan so fuck off. He's known for being in Dragonball Z as Enma and Mr. Satan. Death by degrees and Nin poo suntan hurricane, which also looks like Power Rangers. So the story um, it I don't know. Yeah, it it's interesting. I again, sort of struggled to keep up I feel like that is a theme with Ninja content in general. So outside the realms to with anime as well, where they tell you the story sometimes in their movie, there's a ton of story going on. There's a lot of backstory that's being alluded to that I just missed. I think I couldn't read fast enough a couple of times. And I was like, so you have something to do with something that happened before and now you feel obligated. Cool. Nice. Also, don't forget the ninja are unknowable. Especially this ninja. So the story is there's this plague that hits a small town called Shimoda. Where everyone dies. There's a woman who seemingly sick but clearly extremely dead, is walking towards another town. And she puts her foot like it's all diseased and stuff in the water and like walks past this puddle. And I was like, oh, fuck, this is gonna be bad. And of course people see her and just run out of the town abandon it screaming and fleeing. And in the bushes we see a gentleman is puppeteering her from afar, psychically. The moci Mochizuki koja ninja team is sent by their clan leader to go investigate what's happening in this plague town. When they enter the town. They are massacred. There's a guy who's made out of stone sometimes, and he just fucking destroys them. It's pretty grotty. There's a lot of like throwing of a very sharp weapon and seeing a lot of people's legs come off their bodies. The sole survivor is CAD Jarrow. She is captured by a member of the eight Devils of C'mon, who are our bad guy team. And the guy who captures is the rock guy. He is described as a ninja with supernatural and freakish powers. The man who captures her his weight? Yes Is Tessie sorry, there's so many names happening. A dude who can be turned a rock. He then sexually assaults her. There's a lot of that just for delivery of that. Hey, you know, just so you know, it's yeah, this film. There's a time in which sexually assaulting chicks was. You know what When is this set? It's set in like, just feudal Japan or Japan. Sure. Okay. Yeah. Here's Japan. Yeah, but the movie was made in 93. So there's just I think they're trying to get away with like the most insane content you can see, but it's done in a way that's a little leery and sexualizing. So it's extremely uncomfortable. And it's a bunch. So anyway. Don't worry about it. jubi is mercenary ex Yamashiro ninja appears and nonchalantly asks for directions because he's lost in the like rape tent. He's like, hey, but I'm totally don't worry. I'm not. Could you lend the guys some directions and the big rock guys like, get the fuck out of my rape tent. And he's like, Yo, man, I'm gonna fight you now. You should let her go. So they have a big battle and mid battle the rock guy who is winning like hard and seems to have crushed like every bone in this other dude's body suddenly becomes weak. And his fingers like all break off they kind of like shear off and then our hero GB cuts him in half, which is another theme I'm seeing in Ninja films. Apparently what happens is anyone who sexually assaults or even kisses or touches kaguro The girl is killed by slow poison. She has a rare condition in which which has made her basically the perfect weapon weapon. No one can get near her. So fun times. She's of course got that really was the X Men rogue thing where she has never really had love because so the two part ways after he rescues her and Juby meets a strange sexy lady who is covered in stink tattoos that become real snakes and hypnotize him. He's awoken by an old man throwing a strong Shirogane in his shoulder, and then he massacres the snakes but the woman sheds her sexy lady skin and disappears off somewhere. His Savior the strange old man named duck one, or a duck, duck one I don't know, who asks him to join him. In taking down the eight devils. Juby, refuses until he discovers that the old man poisoned him with the shuriken and will not give him the antidote until the last minute so they he must basically walk around with him and he might as well fight while he's doing it. He has like a day to live. They must work together to stop the eight devils who plan to steal a bunch of gold which was left behind in that plague town which haha, not a plague. Maybe all those people were poisoned, and it was all a ruse to get them out. Over the tunnels defenseless, and if they have the gold, they will take over Japan by force creating a dark New World and potentially having a civil war breakout. Their leader is Gunma who Juby our hero had already killed once before. He learns that gamma has figured out how to resurrect himself and basically stuck his head because he'd been be headed back onto his body. They cross paths with Kygo. Again, the girl who agrees to help because she feels like she has a debt to juvie. And his honor driven the three go on a journey to fight and destroy the eight devils and attempt to stop Ghana from getting the gold. There is love. There's humor, there's a lot more rape. There's some very problematic gay coding in this as well, which I didn't know was a thing. But oftentimes, bad guys in anime will be these really effeminate like non sexualized, clearly gay men who are just made into cringy villains. It's really awful. So 1993 people, fantastic. My overall thoughts on this. The animation is fucking gorgeous. You can see the influence it had on things like Castlevania on Netflix, like I haven't seen a ton of anime, but it is incredible. There's a ton of gore, there's just a lot of physicality in general, there's a lot of anatomy that you're seeing. The gross rape shit doesn't sit well, as well the girl like she's like meant to be the super strong protagonist, but then is like, I just want to have sex with you to the main character for no reason. And it just, I don't know, there's a lot of like, I need to have sex and I need to be touched. But I can't. But people are doing it to me anyway. And it's very, very fucking weird, but that's okay. If you ignore that and the weird gay thing. It's a pretty fun film. There's some really fascinating moments like there's this scene where the gold is close to a big fire and it just melts and like takes over people and they melt with the Golden's really cool looking. Also the villains these eight villains are super fucking interesting. There's one guy who's like bees. He's just made out of bees and his back is like a honeycomb and he tells the bees to go and attack. There's somebody who can manipulate electricity. There's a lot of really cool villains that are set up. Most of them die a little quicker than you think. Like, oh, wow, we're in this like strange dojo and there's shadows everywhere. And this guy's like a shadow guy. And then like, just throws a knife and he's dead. I was like, why are we in here? Why? Okay, that's fine. Trivia for this film. The concept of Ninja Scroll arose from the directors fascination with ninjas and the idea of them always trying to trick each other. The style was influenced by works of novelist future Yamada and Western spy fiction Juby is loosely inspired by historic a historical figure yagya or sorry Yagyu GB Mitzi Yoshi. I'm doing my best right now your cow has so many names. As you considered it difficult to adapt your models works and opted to simplify it the storyline was too challenging making so you had to make a choice to contain lots of exposes expository dialogue so that younger audiences would understand the historical drama that he was referencing. The film was meant to consist of two films, each being 45 minutes in length, which is why there is a clamp climax scene at the first end second half of the film. The director, sorry, not the director, a director James McTeigue cited this film as one of the many influences behind the film Ninja Assassin anyone doing Ninja Assassin me erred on the site at some point maybe aired on the Sci Fi Channel as part of the NI Anna Monday block in 2008. With a TV 14 writing the version cuts this version was cut or digitally obscured sex scenes and nudity and removed a few instances of bad language however all the violence was left intact the same edited version was later shown I know right? Yeah just growing up yeah, it killed him take off his hands see those bones crack real good stuff oh that was that by way of the UK I have no pressure this is why I'm not do accents. If you let me do it for too long it will just become Jamaican. So I know it's bad. This is why Jake along. The same it's a beautiful beautiful accent. This same edited version was later shown for the horror based chiller channel. Could Giro wears the same exact purple headdress costume that Mako Keji wore in the film lady snow blood from 1973 BBFC of course cut 52 seconds of the film that was very high violence and rape. It was however added all back in for the rerelease. Film on Blu Ray, not as successful or well received in Japan as it was in the US. In the post 90s It was among the most popular anime movies outside of Japan along with Akira and ghosts in the shell, which we're talking about. It had sold more than 70,000 copies in 96 becoming manga entertainments best selling title at the time, and it did inspire an anime series in 2003, which was 13 episodes long. There was a sequel that they were going to do in 2008, but it's currently in limbo. A 12 issue comic and potential live action adaptation were reported in 2008 as well, the comic did happen but the 2008 film live action film did not. Although Leonardo DiCaprio was producing company was going to be behind it and Alex C. CTSC, who co wrote watchmen was writing it but it is now in development house. So that was my pick. I missed all of that after you pronounced the word grody as grotty I was like what kind of psychopath pronounces grody as grotty Oh, sorry. Wait for that reading. That's probably what it was. Maybe you misspelled it, just let them know. Right. I made a big mistake. Sorry about that. Anyway, what was your name? Just girl? Yeah, it was good. It was good. I, but also upsetting. So yeah, so let's fly down the pole of quality that we land in 2014 with Ninja apocalypse. The Ninja Council request your presence piece on it no one has ever come back from the lower floors alive oh we must come together as one clan who will stand with me it will say Get the hell out of here must be another way there's something out there about you guys. So don't be killing makes me hungry Kevin's familiar with this one. Please for the love of God say there's an apocalypse of ninja just the actual apocalypse. But with ninjas everywhere. Sort of. Sorta. I guess it's after the apocalypse. Yeah, about ninjas. I kind of was hoping the apocalypse came in the form of ninja putting great millions of ninjas. Well, the Rotten Tomatoes nobody no critics are rated on Rotten Tomatoes so it's got no rating and it's got a 16 which I think was the cast and crew coming in and trying to combat their best case that that terrible I've seen much worse but anyways, I'm guessing the budget was about$25 Director Lloyd Lee Barnett. As a director. He has the hourglass vortex. However, visual effects. Bam. Spider Man. Hello, man. Avatar. Wow, Rocky, Rocky Balboa. I mean, The Lost World Jurassic Park Jesus and two episodes of 911 Yeah, plus a shit done more. Nine. He has done a lot of visual effects. Wow. The writer Ashley Scott Myers. Wrote dish dogs. The pinch, which I was disappointed to find out was not a parody of the slap. And it's snakes Outta Compton. Oh, no, wait is exactly what it sounds like. It is about giant snakes. in Compton is this an asylum join? Sure looks like it. Oh, my God. Stars Christian Oliver who was in Speed Racer. Voice and Call of Duty Saved by the Bell The New Class and rattlesnakes. Last Brandt who is in Walker Texas Ranger Days of Our Lives. Two hours to Vegas the numbers and carry higher op Tagawa who was in Mortal Kombat the fun one. And planet the apes. Not the fun one. He was also an Walker, Texas Ranger. He's got like 139 credits. Tara makin was in Supergirl. Tons of TV stunts of TV shows but her main thing is she's got 107 credits as a stunt woman. She's done Westworld Captain Marvel the Avengers how cool the new Mortal Kombat so she is a high high hand start person Wow. Whose skills are totally wasted in this movie. But so yes, it opens with an nuke going off or is eminent that is and then the next tagline. Next title is years after the Great War. Oh, there you go. There's your apocalypse. What about the Great War itself? With all the digital credits, this guy has a little disappointed with the opening scene of really bad digital clouds. Yeah. How do you? Well, we gotta start somewhere. But we do have an interest fighting right off the bat. Here's my description of it. They look chubby and messed up. But the ninjas have nice shiny clothes. Shiny clothes. Yes, not great. So the ninjas mess up and they'd actually don't kill this guy. But it's that's so they can show you. The guy who then walks up next is the badass by killing the one that was still left alive. Honestly, again, a movie with no budget with really kind of cool opening credits, where it goes from stylized almost Japanese looking art into a live action segment and then it goes back and forth to the credits to kind of set up the deep deep storyline. But I thought look nicer there's you know we'll give credit where credit's due there we begin let me tell you we have started the Warriors if you've seen the movie The Warriors you now know the entire rest of the movie plot wise oh my god so it starts off with him getting this invitation to cut all the ninja clans or whatever the clans to come together to battle some force that's coming that they need to take care of as all surprised when they go walking out this very apocalyptic area and get into a Bronco but they have trouble starting the Bronco that's a you know it's after the apocalypse. Yes it's all deadly and dirty. And then you can open up the hood do nothing and start no remember the the guy uses his electric power. So the apocalypse has happened and apparently all that has remained are ninjas. Sure, okay. A little bit of sense but now they all have like superpowers and they're not the same but different. Yeah, like the like the one clan the hero clan is all electric city and apparently they share the electricity because one guy over uses and they get pissed off at them. I only have so much electronics around except for the deaf guy. There's the big giant deaf guy how do I get to that here? Yeah. Oh my god it's always a little yeah it's a very weird portion in films. I think maybe Steve from bone bat might get what I'm coming with I don't know if anyone else will. But if you play a lot of Grand Theft Auto every once in a while you'll see a scene in a movie God I know where that because they recreate the outside around LA so well. That it it's obvious Oh yeah, I'm driven through that area. And this movie has several of those moments. Bad bad trash talk at the beginning when they start to come together and then they give really bad flat exposition of what's going on. We're gonna great thanks we really don't need it not a complicated story here. But via they said they're kind of magic fighters the the main guys have in the Carroll clan have electricity. There's a woman there who has some kind of telekinetic powers and a big Deaf can't speak guy who can touch the ground and feel people around him approaching from some distance feel the vibrations or something Oh yeah. Which is a deeply underutilized power seems like it would be a really good power to have yeah you just kind of forget that he's got it Oh far no weapons in the bunker of course these guys are weapons so I thought that was a little pointless because I think the the main bad guys are against a fire or something and boy does the budget show on the well I'll call it the CAN YOU DIG IT scene because I've seen the Warriors you know the scene I'm talking about tiny little crowd in this weird thing the guy standing on to make his speech they use this to start to introduce the giant group of warriors of like five clans I think total at one of them is a all female clan who you can tell the money problems with this one because when they do a close up shot of this clan it's the same actor recreated like five or six times it's five times then when they show the wide shot of everybody there's just one oh my god oh my god she is smoking hi you got to give her that so you know he does the usual thing of the warriors well oh my god somebody killed the league guy who are they gonna blame you know the war or know that or whatever the electricity clan will just call them and that starts with the it was them and honestly the fight choreography is pretty good at times in this movie. It's not great but it is good. Which was not true if the last film we talked about for Navy with just then there's just bad argument scenes of who did what and all that and you know whatever the tech in the world is very weird at times. There's no consistency to it they really don't have any cell phones or anything but they walk into this bar that's underground that's covered in dirt and mass but it's got this perfectly functioning window video screen that serves really no purpose other than the guy tries to destroy the other guy's No Look what it does and touches in it changes scenes like then he's got this weird little locket that he opens up and does this like a 3d projection up of his family. So we can look at things like okay, and they'll fight with swords, so I don't know. And one of the dumb uses of having a guy who can tell When everybody's around hey, let's split up. Like why? And now they fight. Few more fights still more fights. Oh they kill the woman first of course. I mean, that's a lot of reproducing of one person maybe just like guys we're gonna go know the woman in the hero clan. woman she's the guy. Gotcha. Copy that again after a pretty good fight. I mean, they, they do nice fights, but I'm like, okay, they're each one goes off on their own and fights like six people. Like if you guys stayed together, you probably could have kicked the crap out of everybody really, really easily considering one of you takes out five most of the time but whatever. Oh, yeah, the bad the bad clan is does have fireballs. And let's see more pointless arguing between the clan members, like two of them are supposed to be brothers. So they're always yelling at each other for like, yeah, the scenes in kind of poor writing where the emotions go from zero to 130 seconds or less. Has some of that and that's where he siphons off all the energy so all the other guys get pissed off at him for ruining their energies. Do you have anything left? A little? And then zombies. Wait. Yeah, forget the apocalypse ninja zombie zombies. And they're really dumb about them. They find it. They find a body in a cell. And it comes to life. They cut it in half. Do they just close the door and walk away? Oh, they leave the door open while this two halves of a zombie formed two new zombies. Oh, wow. They're standing out watching close the door. That might be a good social sell dope shit. But it seems like maybe it wouldn't matter because suddenly there's they're all over the place. So. Okay, weird, ironic thing. I was looking up the guy who cannot speak in the movie has over 180 credits. Almost all of them voiceover work. Oh my god. So I'm guessing he has a really cool voice. Right? Oh, wait, why did you fake it's a bummer. You could have just happen to be deaf. But and then comes the other scene taken from the Warriors where the guys run into the female clan. And of course, being somewhat sexist movie. She doesn't. They don't attack just like the Warriors, they don't really attack them. They try to seduce some and their fingernails or their worst weapons with her poison or something. So that's it, but they come in. They're trying to find their way out of this encounter this bunker thing. And of course, the good information is given you like where we're living. It's comfortable. This is where the leader or whatever used to live before the apocalypse. It has comfort in a way up top. That's like oh, well, thanks. And but the fights although cool, are nowhere near as visceral and intense as the Warriors and the final line from the hero. Don't protect us respect us. Yes. And you know, there's a bad twist and you know, nobody. Okay. This was a frustrating view in a lot of ways because the fights were good enough. And honestly, for a no budget film, The acting was good enough that if it deserved more, I mean, I think if the writer director had chopped off a couple or two of the weird scenes and gotten rid of the zombies entirely, it would have been a lot better film because it's not the worst no budget film I've watched by any means. And but so that I think that almost makes it a little worse. It's like so talent behind some aspects of this movie. I think he's too much digital blood to Oh, why why? I don't such an easy thing didn't even you could put chocolate syrup on somebody and be like it's a digital digital effects guy. Oh sure. Worse Yeah, fix it in post so I have virtually no legit ninja ninja trivia notes for this one. Because I couldn't find too much and there's not enough much written about this film right? Yeah 1015 years from now and vinegar syndrome puts it out they'll probably be more but yeah, that's always away. But I did find a fun review. Paul mount of Starburst. Way barbers magazine. I'm assuming not of the candy now. Rated at two out of 10. Horribly bland and charmless ninja pocalypse will surely only appeal to undemanding action films. Fans who still can't resist the allure of any tacky film with the word ninja in the title. area and knave Cateel of influence gave at A T plus a D plus Cheap last night or the bottom line is the writing wasn't very good, the direction was lacking and the acting was uneven. So it's it's fine if you are one of those ninja people that watches anything with ninjas you will find something to like because some of the fights are pretty good. It's real downfall is so this bunker is is set up to be this huge underground space that they're traveling downward and and everything it feels kind of like a video game setup. Yeah, you you beat the level and move on to the next level. But the the camera work is really shoddy and the lighting is shoddy it comes off looking very video II. And the the problem with the effects guy is that he's an effects guy, you know, the director and so there's a ton of digital effects in it. Some of them look like you like oh, that's a pretty good looking effect. And then other ones are like, oh, you know, and, and those things could have been helped by having, you know, good lighting. Yes. And I think make things look, you know, a little more film than video so because a lot of the effects unfortunately look like they are sitting on top of the film instead of Oh, right. Yeah. You know, in the actual film. Yeah, yeah. Digital blood. I think I've just barely ever works. Yeah, and it doesn't work at all in this the electricity is not too bad. The fires a little weird. Yeah. And there's like I said, there's a lot more various ones and strange storylines, like they go down 20 floors for the the actual conference. And but then they find out when they tried to go back up in the elevators. For some reason they have trick elevators that if you try to go up in them, they only go down. So they dropped from 20 to 100. Whoa, really, really fast. And they're all just fine. But not only that, it's like okay, it's not like we get to see them fight their way up. 100/20 floors would have been enough. Yeah. I think they fought up like three. Yeah. So yeah. Frustrating is a good word for it. Stupid is also a good way. We're sure. That'll work. I'm not gonna rush out for the song. Wait, what? You're just not ready for this when? 2014 Oh, god, okay. Yeah. Oh, yeah, it's real recent. That's relative to most ninja movies. Yeah, I feel like they missed the boat. It's ninja apocalypse. But it could have been one word. Ninja apocalypse. Come to me for more tips on titling your film. Yes, yes. It involves ninja. Well. I think that makes it your turn. There is right What should I pick? I am nervous on the edge of my seat. something different to do a side bet on what he's gonna do this. Oh, she's thinking zombies ninjas. Zombie ninjas? I don't know. I just didn't know if I think we'll keep it is that skirt that was really really it got the mic got that one good. I'll be I'll be sticking with the ninja November whatever. It's gonna end up being and this time. We know we've been looking at this for a while so I've got a stockpile of movies. I'm hoping I will watch a good one. Next that would be nice. So yes, Ninja is part three. Awesome. I feel like I probably know what I'll pick. So ninja I think it will have an injury maybe even to I hope that we're gonna get a Ninja Turtle movie eventually how do you well all right, well this is the part where I thank everybody for participating in the value of value model I cannot thank you enough are sending your hard earned cash our way or you're liking and sharing of posts or you're sharing when the episodes come out all of that stuff means so much and really helps us slowly but surely take over the world. Yeah, I love I love that fan art that we get to those are those are real man. Those are so cool. There's been some really cool shit. Yeah, so Okay, anything else to add to that guys? I wish there was more ninja raps on Earth. I just want to put that out there. Oh, well. We do have a couple of musicians in the listening I get one navy. Oh, you didn't want like paper for Christmas presents. You want like song? Yeah. Like rip. You guys get a house. Our show is recorded somewhere high above Naval Station Everett at the nexus of all realities, and is engineered and produced by Eric Margaret. Our theme music is strange aeons part one by the band nightshade is used with permission find strange aeons radio on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram wherever yo just growing up yeah, it killed them take off his hands seems good. See those bones crack real good stuff