Strange Aeons Radio

147 NO MORE NINJAS!

November 25, 2021 Strange Aeons Radio Season 3 Episode 147
Strange Aeons Radio
147 NO MORE NINJAS!
Show Notes Transcript

147 NO MORE NINJAS!

Ninja November comes to a close with a brand new Strange Aeons Radio game! Also discussed:The Deep House, No Time to Die, Star Trek: Prodigy. 

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I'm sorry did I break your concentration? Somewhere between science and superstition such sigh sights to show you strange aeons. Welcome to strange aeons magazine radio where am I take to welcome to strange aeons radio. That's Eric are there? Hello? Over there, did you just introduce us as a magazine? And they speak Kelly. Got Kelly. I've had. I've had very little sleep and I've had that magazine on my mind. I guess. So what about us? What about us being on your mind we're here we showed up. Show up for you like this. Alright, let's not live in the past Vanessa. But you know what, speaking of living in the past and so before you join the podcast what I like to call the good old days. Hi guy would sometimes have a little game we played before. Cool. I don't have that game. I have a different game. Okay, this game I'm calling guess worth. And I have a couple of celebrities, horror celebrities and their net worths in front of me. Oh my god, she's and I'd like you guys to kind of give me what you think of them. I'll tell you what the range is. Yeah, please. Because Stephen King. His net worth is $500 million. Well, that makes sense. And Kane Hodder. Yeah, his net worth is$1.5 million. So always fall somewhere between 1.5 and 500. Is it the amount you would pay to use them? Is it the amount you would bet their actual or their life is so probably houses vehicles. So what they have currently? Yeah, most of these people. I'm guessing Stephen King doesn't have $500 million in the bank. But he's got laid. He's got a couple of Hold on. He's got all Yeah, so and royalties on films, all of that stuff. Wow. And you can recognize all these names. Oh, god, okay. You may be shocked, horrified or delighted at their network. But your job is to guess it. Alright, your family live and press the Kane Hodder is worth 1.5 million. We came as a bit of a shock. And that Stephen King, I figured actually would be higher than half a billion, really, but it's still a shit ton of money. He's a writer. Yeah, but I mean, he's also a movie producer. This is true. Okay, we'll start somewhere. I'll just say this one is somewhere in the middle. What do you think Jason Blum is worth Eric? Jason Jason Blum Jason Blum house. He runs Blum house. He's a producer. He's got a lot of hit films under his belt. I'll put him at a 110 100 10 million Vanessa. I'm gonna go higher. I'm gonna go with 300 Oh, do I do this prices right rules can't go over it's not fair. You guys are you guys are is right in the middle you guys. He's worth $200 million. Wow. Hmm. Well done, sir. Now, but part of that has to be just the the president and CEO of a successful film 100% If somebody bought Blumhouse pictures, like how much would they get for something like that? That's he's got to have a fair amount of stakes in that right right guy's name on it. So now let's talk about Vanessa, one of your favorite people. Okay, what do you think John Carpenter's net worth is? Oh, no. Oh no. In my heart are for real. In my heart, all the money in the world. I will give him everything I have. Um, he probably have come close to that. There are times look I own things I should own. God Um, oh no. Oh, no. I'm gonna be like something really bad I'd love you know what I'm gonna I'm gonna give him some credit. $1 million. Oh my god. They're gonna go 15 Well, then you will both be delighted. Now the John Carpenter has a net worth of $40 million dollar. Well, that's so much better than the one I was worried about. I mean, I guess he gets under cane hotter. But Kane Hodder still working? And he like well, I guess is because John seems very bitter for having $40 million worth of shit. He just seemed bitter and it feels like he's been screwed out of everything. You know, like, I feel like whatever he could be making. He does have music rights, though. He does that. I didn't take that into account to say hash machine that well, tangentially related to John Carpenter. What do you think Rob Zombie's net worth is to speak? He just said you're sick, right? So Oh no. I say 35 35 million. I'm gonna go with 20 Because Screw that guy, then you'll be horrified to learn that Rob Zombie's net worth is $50 million. That sounds more than Junker music rights man. Use your credit days confused almost entire budget was to pay for the music in that movie. He says that's some expensive shit. And he's got some songs that play in a lot of credits. Yeah, you bought more music than anything else? Yeah, cuz like him. I'm not happy about what he's done with John Carpenter's work. I'll say that works. Shamans zombie. I wonder what her net worth is. Half of his cards, right. That's how they got Rob Zombie. It's two titles. Or that's his wife. What's his wife? Okay, gotcha. This is why is it is it every one of his movies? Okay, well, then how about Clive Barker? Oh, no, this is gonna be sad too. Well, maybe not. I mean, his books. I know a comic just came out. That was like CO written by him. I'm going to go with I'll go with 30 I was gonna say 20 You'll both be very disappointed to learn that Clive's net worth. Clive Barker, creator of Hellraiser all those books. All those comics $12 million. Oh, it's and what doesn't he have music rights now? It all comes back. How about Mark Hamill? nicest guy on the internet? Oh Skywalker. Luke Skywalker again that had to be worth something. Please The Joker a million times I see produce much. Where's he? Largely? I don't think so. But that and I don't know what voice acting actually pays. But like, every. Every time it gets played, he might get something again. Oh, yeah. occasion. Yeah. I bought I'm going to stick in my same realm of about 20 mil. I'm going to go way higher. I'm going to go like 300 tumble. Bless your soul. He's worth 18 million though. Oh, no, really. But he's like three so active in everything. Know what? Mark Campbell is listening to this. He's gonna write and ask for your address. He wants to send you flowers. No, he's a treasure. Like he's in everything. Well, there's all the talk out there about how much actors may actors. There's plenty of super wealthy actors. But if you really want to make money in Hollywood, you're a producer. You're gonna you've got or you're a studio owner. I mean, you're the person that writes the checks to Mark Hamill I guess so. But he's just so like he's everywhere. I don't think he's hurting. I'm sure he now plenty happy to do whatever he wants to take a pretty cheery guy unlike Mr. Carpenter. Yeah, I'm gonna burn through a couple of these and just tell you what their net worth is. But then I'm gonna make you guess on the last couple. Zack Snyder 60 million. Oh, Jamie Lee Curtis 60 million. Okay. James Gunn 50 million. Wow. And now you guys tell me net worth of Robert England 510 16 million net worth of Linda Blair. Oh, two go with chan again. 6 million. Okay. And the net worth of Nicolas Cage? Oh, no, zero. He'll everybody all his money. Because they repoed his gravestone. Are you kidding? I'm sure he has a little bit more now. But I'm gonna stick a zero about that. Because Nick Cage is crazy. I'll go bro on this one. He say 69 million. Guys. I have no fucking clue. A respectable 25 million. Okay, I'm glad I'm worth something. Keep mine. He's got homes and everything. This whole net worth thing is them tallying up your homes, your vehicles and he is a Collector. Yes, he is a Collector. It's just I went to Louisiana where we basically had a tour of things he lost. Oh, Nick Cage used to own this building. Not anymore. Here's the gravestone he bought. He doesn't have it anymore. Like it was just constantly that so in my head I know he sense rebounded. It just stuck with me. Well, I tallied up all the points, and I got them. All right, so you pay me 25 bucks. I know. I know you say check. Expired check. You guys, I got a chance to watch no time to die finally. Oh my god. I've been wanting to see that. And not sure if I'm actually going to manage to see in theater. How was it? Well, I liked it. I liked parts of it a lot. Yeah, there's some neat James Bond stuff. And yeah, yeah. The ending was not what I expected. No, not at all. But I will say this, Eric, and I'll you tell me, because you've seen it. Yes. And Vanessa, you tell me because you're gonna know what I'm talking about. I am not a huge James Bond fan. I like some James Bond movies. Sure. I almost feel like the imitators the the movies that have taken their cues from James Bond movies, you're born identities, your mission impossibles. I think those are better movies than the Bond movies now. And what are your thoughts? Definitely imitating that? Oh, yeah. With the exception of Casino Royale, which I thought was an incredibly well done Bond film. Sure. I think bond. I actually haven't seen the Timothy Dalton movies. For some reason. I have all been good. Only two. I haven't seen Pierce Bronson brought it to and Roger Moore both kind of had parody level stuff. Well, you're saying that but I mean, not intentionally like golden. I wasn't necessarily gonna It's pretty good. Yeah, that's really good. So but the there's some good there hit or miss. I think if you sit down and watched all the Bond films, they're definitely hit or miss. And if you sat down and watch all the mission impossibles there's a lot more hits than misses. If you like that kind of film. I don't just hate Tom Cruise. So you can't like anything he's in. Keep in mind. There's also 30 Bond films and for national parks now there's six, I think there's really only one of them's really bad, right? But yeah, Bourne identities, all three are pretty good. Yeah, um, well, I would throw in my two cents as somebody who just just because of living in the UK, I have not seen all the Bond movies. So everything I've got is just kind of knowledge of its heritage. And it's kind of like, the Rolls Royce of heist movies, it's, they need to spend all of the money, they need to have it with the best cars with the best clothes with the best watches, and they have to hit really specific things along the way, there has to be a hot new chick that he sleeps with, and then isn't you turns against him or ends up, you know, helping him whatever it is, there's certain notes that always has to happen. And I think that limits it and then having to push them out as regularly as they do. Also drops the quality pretty significantly, like every new bond is like, we're gonna give this diamond level quality and then the follow ups are like, well, people are gonna see it anyway. Until we get the new bond again. Yeah, so it's, it's weird. The family owned those rights for a long time, and they would not budge on a lot of stuff, including that's why we don't have like intersol bows, like James Bond or a female James Bond, until possibly, whatever happens now there's a double Oh, so there's a female double Oh, seven, in this new one. Yeah. And I'm sure that I don't think they have. I don't think they have the rights anymore. So I think that those kinds of things got a little bit more like free. Yeah. But I will say I love the female double Oh, seven. Yeah, she's great, really well written. There is a new hot chick in this movie that's in there for six minutes. And she was the high point of the film as far as i Oh, such a great fight scene. It was, it was just a great scene for her. And I was like, I hope that everybody sees this and she becomes a huge star. Yeah. It felt like a lot of catch up on the last 10 years. Yeah, but also having blofield as the villain or not the villain, but you know, him being tied into it again, all the way back from under ball. I don't quite understand how the movies fit in with each other. I thought this isn't I'm starting with the Oh my God, what's his name? The actor who's currently James Bond Daniel Craig, Daniel Craig starting with Daniel Craig with the first one isn't it kind of a reboot of all of it? Well, that's except that makes no sense because they bring blofield in Yeah, no and and sky, whatever it's called. Yeah, that's the villain group. Oh, Spectre. Spectre is I thought Spectre was from it was not they were just kind of saying, you know, oh, this is a That organization by bringing something in and referencing like Thunderball. That's weird. I'm like, wait a second. Are we supposed to believe that that was also this James Bond or? No. So I don't know how the film's he patched it together, I get that the last four, you know, are their own timeline. And I assume for each bond, he has a continuation and all that. But this is this is definitely a series that needs a hard reboot, and just start at the beginning again, and yeah, and, you know, you start building up from there, but otherwise, I thought it was pretty good. Certainly. Certainly better. What was Spector? The last one? guy falling leaves? Spectre was not Skyfall Okay, so Skyfall Skyfall? Yeah, I did not like Spectre, I like this one quite a bit more than it is definitely one of those that would benefit from a female bond. Specifically, I mean, he just thought this would be awesome, just cuz he's awesome. But because of the style, if you watch the early bonds, they deeply ingrained sexism. It's crazy. And that series, I think it would benefit greatly from a female bond toasts are just that out of it. And like you said, just re foreign, rebooted, and unreal, different and the imitators can make the exact same movie without any of that baggage. So yeah, yeah. And speaking of which, there's some imitated style all female, pandering ass movie that's coming out pretty soon that's trying to ride that wave. Wait a second, you know, I'm gonna love it. You might I mean, I maybe it'll be a good movie. But it's the I A bunch of female spies from around the world that get together to do some big trolling for that. And it looks to me like I just every time I see something, that's alright, ladies, let's do it. I'm like, I want to die. This is not how you make female empowering content. The female the female double of sevens. Probably a good example of what you're talking about. Because she was awesome. She was she was awesome. Yeah, yeah. And just to make a quick nod before we move on. In Eternals, the the lead in that is a female actress who's incredible. And it was going so well. It was going so well. But and they that's what I mean when it just feels seamless and part of the plot and part of that character's natural arc, not just wedged in for fun zingers and oh, hey, now Gwyneth Paltrow matters in this series. For some reason, we gave her some armor like, that's frustrating. And they did a really good job with her up until this the lead from internals until she had to make a hard decision and maybe be a bad guy on any level whatsoever. And they they chickened out. And I was like, you guys, you fucking go or you don't. Main characters have to make hard decisions sometimes. And sometimes those are not over the nicest person on planet Earth. Sometimes you just got to do the mean thing. It's fine. Yeah. That does not give anything away. Trust me. So is it? Yeah, yes. Okay. So caught up in it spot. Um, so I saw something that as speaking of kind of reboots, I guess. Star Trek prodigy. Oh, that isn't that actually kids oriented? Yeah. It's a kids oriented Star Trek show. cute as hell yeah. It's like three episodes in now. I've seen the first two. Um, it's it's basically just like, Star Wars Clone Wars. It's a very similar feel. It doesn't feel particularly star Trekky to me, so I I don't love it on that deep level that I do lower decks. But that being said, Kate Mulgrew back in any form is amazing. Great. Oh, God. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. She's back. I love that woman. She is like the worst Star Trek captain of all time. She's in sane, but I love her for it. Jesus. She's great. She makes our decisions. Yeah, she died. Murder two crew members to say one done. Not a problem. Harry Kim, you died. And now your double is back on the ship and you're worried about it. Don't worry about it, son. It's fine. Get over here. This happens in Star Trek. What can I tell you woke up. She's incredible. I can't wait to see what she's done to these children. She's not playing Janeway in this Janeway. She's like a holographic version of like, Hey, I'm here to help you navigate this ship I've turned on but it's still basically just Janeway. Like she walked around in the second episode with a cup of coffee and I was like, good, Jamie. Jamie Go. It's animated. Yes, it's animated like the Clone Wars or similarly. Yeah. I think so. It's, I thought it looked a little more Nickelodeon. I just saw the trailer Didn't seem any episodes Yeah, I you know, I'm I take that back I'm not quite sure it just feels like how the clone wait doesn't feel like particularly Star Trek II it feels more like pulled towards Star Wars in certain ways. Yeah I saw another interesting one. The Deep House. Ah, yeah, I want to see this so bad. Have you seen? Yeah, I talked about this a couple episodes ago. Okay. I've actually talked about it in anticipation. No. I would like to know your thoughts. My biggest problem with it is as opposed to being sucked into the story. I was back in as a filmmaker going. Oh my god, how would this be as a movie? I thought it started out really strong. And then turned into another It was basically a found footage. Wow. Yeah. Just in a phenomenal setting. Definitely got a good gimmick. Yeah. I don't have a problem with found footage like Kelly does usually Wow. But I also think it has act massive cliches now. The bad found footage film cliches are in this movie. The the really annoying part is this did not need to be a found footage movie. Oh, yeah, I don't think it was I didn't I'm surprised to hear that it is they do a couple of cool things. And they even pull out on a couple of scenes and you realize, oh, this has not found footage. Right? But they do it in a way that made me kind of interested in it. But they are YouTube haunted house investigators and so they're filming everything but they are also being followed by a remote camera. Yeah, drone camera on the water so that you're getting shots that are not just you know, the typical film footage so I thought that worked. What pulled me out was the is the man's name Ben. I don't remember Simon the lead the dude was a bad actor. And that was pulling me out but then that was bringing out the filmmaker and me it was going oh hard most to be to have to act underwater with all this. Yeah. And there were weird moments that looked like they replaced their faces in the with CGI a few times they did are interesting, but I didn't see that in all of the shots. It's just in some of them. So as I which is disappointing because the location is so cool. Here's I was at the end of it. I was really happy I watched it because there were a couple of really creepy scenes that made me go you know what, I don't care if anything else happens. This was a great scene. The ghosts walking underwater was creepier than shit to me. We almost made an appearance. Really? Yeah. Yeah. The quote that strange aeons is taken from is in the movie up until the point where I was gonna say I was gonna say if he says that we are changing our intro so that we could have that and then just as the oh maybe we change it to that and go right into the I'm sorry, did I interrupt you? And when it said in French I yeah, I I liked the movie. I just I just did not like the lead actor. Unfortunately. As far as Blumhouse movie goes, I don't expect much. And this This is a choir Limehouse wasn't required. The yeah the the lady was much better. Yeah, the creepy guy was pretty good. Yeah. But yeah, it was well worth watching. I would definitely say still watch it because it's it's neat in more ways than it's disappointing. Really? Yeah. Really a tactical Marvel you know, I'm curious what the budget was on something like this, because I don't know I just sit there and put together okay, now I've gotten okay, that guy's underwater in masks and everything that's cool. But I also now have actors underwater who are not a mask because they're ghosts. Oh my god. This fucking scene tech is this I see safely and has a nearby with oxygen and it's cool to see a movie that you're going How was this made? Yeah, I really hope really hope they get some kind of a good shout factory or something released. I know. Blumhouse isn't necessarily great for doing deep right releases but hopefully we'll reach reach out to somebody that is well, I did a little experiment to you guys. And I was even thinking about you know, we got crypto con coming up next year may and we'll do another probably sideways dive on a movie and I was even thinking maybe we do it on this. But the experiment I did was I watched carry Brian diplomas carry. Oh yeah. And fuck I love that movie. Oh, it is so good. Yeah. Then I watched the recent remake right afterwards. Mm. Which with Chloe Grace. Okay. All righty. All right. Well, that's Thank you. God, what a shit show that's obvious. I remember hating it in the theater. But watching it immediately after watching the original was just like, fuck they got everything wrong. The casting of Chloe is difficult because in the original carry Sissy Spacek is an ugly woman who then puts on a little makeup and becomes kind of a pretty girl. She's not the she's not the ugly girl of the book, who was overweight and pimples and all that stuff. But she's a very, she comes in as a very plain looking person, produce yourself up and you kind of buy this whole thing. Yeah. Chloe at the beginning, when she's supposed to not be attractive is an awfully cute girl. Yeah, it's like, I don't think she'd be getting this much abuse from all the other girls but who knows. But the real thing that bothered me as as Chloe starts to learn to use her powers, we're getting a real Harry Potter version of Carrie, where she's gesticulating and holding her hands out and she's doing things with her hands to make things move. Oh, God, all the stuff that was done with only her eyes when Sissy Spacek was the care Yeah, she just wide eyed making these things happen with her mind instead of kind of orchestrating it being an orchestra or something like that. It's just weird. And so when she gets the blood finally dumped on her at the end, Carrie in the diploma version is standing there with her arms next to her side and her hands out. And she looks fucking terrifying. Yeah, my, my Stephen King origins story is my mom had the the tie in novels, the movie tie in novel with the cover of carry on the front of the blood drenched carry, and that I was seven, I think, and that covers scared me so much that I would if I sat in the room, I would have to find like a piece of clothing or something that I could toss over. So I could pass it by because it scared me. In this new one, she's she gets covered in blood. And then she starts you know, she Scarlett witching the whole time. She's got her hands over her head while she's making things happen. And then she flies across the gymnasium. And I was like, What the fuck just happened? That's awful. It really just completely missed the mark on this. And and I thought this would be kind of a neat one to go into a site will or aside. How did we put it for our thing? Deep Dive? Dive. Because if Kerry the movie hadn't been as huge a hit as it was, Stephen King would not be the guy he was now right? Because Gary novel sold and did find the movie rights sold. And he got a couple of bucks for that. And he was thrilled. But his next book was not going to be Salem's Lot. His next book was kind of a crime novel. And then the movie comes out and goes gigantic, and that turned the paperback sales of Carrie into this completely different realm. And his agent was just like, What else you got? Time for town being overrun by vampires or I have this crime story and his agent was like you're doing the vampires. Yes, so I just think you know that it's such an important moment in King's life to have the Palma make that movie and you know, and it is so weird to me that this movie now has been made three times I don't know if you guys remember the TBS TV movie that was gonna be a a backdoor pilot series because Carrie lives at the end of that written by Brian Fuller who I fucking love Wow, we did not get the characters correctly on that one so I don't know it was an interesting experiment. I'm glad I did it but man what a disappointment to see that I watched the trailer for that like two days ago I think gone Oh this looks air wow now that'd be really really fun to talk about until look into and I got just even that what you're talking about with her hands really stresses me out. Because it's like the entire point is that she can't control her emotions much like a teenager coming of age starting their you know their menstruation like you. There's so much going on. That's out of your control that is part of your body. And that's kind of the point like when she's in the principal's office, she doesn't mean to be doing what she's doing. And when she lights everything up at the end, it's not necessarily I mean, she's just overreacting. To a certain extent, I would say that she's like, just not even in control anymore. She is just pure. He will like she looks out and thinks she sees one thing. And then we see right what actually is happening and there are people there supporting her and ready to be there for her and she cannot see it. So like that's it. Oh, anyway, yeah, yeah, I'm sure it's great that she flies. Good job guys. Moving on. Well, just briefly, I checked out while I was the last couple days in my 31 movies for Halloween, I watched a new Disney series called I know, called just beyond. And it's kind of their like, teen goosebumps C style, or it's it's actually I think, either produced or written by RL Stein. And it's kind of each story is a little microcosm of like a supernatural like once about a witch once about a girl who there's a ghost in the house. There's each one has its own thing. It's very tween oriented. And it was cute. Actually, it wasn't too bad. It reminded me a lot of Are You Afraid of the Dark? Oh, so had a really, really solid little feel like that, too. It's almost like scary, but you know, it's gonna be okay. In the end. But it's like just giving you enough of a threat that it's it feels a little adult for the kid might win. So I'm trying to figure you out. Okay. deep love of horror and tween. Yes. Yeah. Like not just tween teen all around. There's something about it. That's just fun. I don't know. I can't understand you Kelly. I vent about this all the time. I'm like, I don't understand why we like some of the same things and not others. I cannot get my head around it. I am a mystery wrapped within a riddle. I know within an end with a mark on top. Anyway, a movie with no real questions but kind of entertaining and fun. I think when so you saw this one and talked about a little bit night books. Oh, yeah. I think night books would have been a better follow up to the first goosebumps movie. Oh yeah. It's very much a fairy tale. Fun. Well tone strong performances by the kids really, really good. It's not really an anthology. Just I mean, he tells like, a bunch of minute stories to entertain the witch but it's real fun. Real smart. Interesting. Kid oriented horror. Yes. I'm really glad I watched actually. I'm glad you liked it. Just called her out for watching Kids Movies and then you follow her up to here I want to talk about hey, man, I kid content can be good. We all started off there. I do appreciate that there is this kind of stuff for for horror kids out there because you know my my horror introduction was reading Salem's Lot at the age of 10. And we've been nice if there have been something a little right less scary for me to start out bridge that gap pedigreed. Yeah, Cujo. Oh my god, Cujo, then you never touched a dog again. Rhonda. I love dogs. My mom was thrilled with good job because she had it as a mom. Yeah, there's some adult stuff in there. I seem to remember walking downstairs while my brother was watching spawn with his friend and staring at that for a good half an hour and being like I don't know and I'm not talking about the movie I'm talking about the the animated one Yeah. Oh, yeah, that was pretty good. That was good. I was very confused as like six or seven I'll never forget the story you tell of watching one of the Nightmare on Elm Street your mom's glasses that is such a great image oh my god yeah, I'm so glad I finally got to watch it for this show and like figure out what those pieces were and put it together that was so nice but yeah. Watching it reflected backwards is its own interesting. Well, how about you guys? Take break with me. Yes. And then when we come back we're talking with Ninja Warriors five enemies. Defeat when we go pass callus I came into school at Kawasaki Ninja power wheel we have returned that's my favorite. My short and sweet Vanessa I know you're very disappointed but this is the last weekend of ninja November you know to an extent I am disappointed because there are more ninja films out there that I have not yet seen. Oh sure and there are some I've seen and will not get to talk about so and plenty that you just do not want to see there are a lot I don't want to say this is not my forte but I do love some ninja contents from what you choose for this final week. I hope it's a big one. Well, I actually am pretty stoked about the one I chose which was Batman ninja and calling me the demon look at it this is ancient Japan cheer him on site, the Joker they're all trying to take over this country and rewrite history this is the bad movie or the bad wing the fat cycle. They've all been destroyed at the hands of the Joker. And I have my mind my spirit and all of you when the country is in chaos for him, he's wearing a mask receive from Acosta see Oh, hi. I've seen this. You have seen this. Okay. Animated actually, it is it is Did did you like or not? Well, you talk about it. Alright, so this is a movie that came out in 2018. It is fully animated it stylistically and animated after anime. So it has a very Japanese textured feel to it. It has a rotten tomato score of 82% from critics and 61% from audience that feels about right after reading some of the reviews for it from Amazon consumers. It seems like it's a really intentionally beautiful film. That probably pisses a lot of people off by not just being a standard Batman movie. So the box office for this really, really hard to have any idea. The only quote I found about this is the film earned $680,508 from domestic and DVD sales, and 2.9 million from domestic blu ray bringing his total domestic home earnings to six point or sorry 3.6 I don't know anything beyond that don't know what it costs, don't I? Yeah, anyway, but it was I think it went straight to wild that she's at that info. That's it was in the trivia randomly. It was directed by Jun pay at Museo Saki. He's only actually directed three things including sound and fury, which is a short, this and a segment of a movie called Zoo. He's produced a couple of things. Star Wars visions one episode Derome on the movie, and Jojos Bizarre Adventure he did a little bit of and he was an animator on three Megaman games. So really interesting choices. Direct writer was Kabuki Nakashima who did the screenplay and by the screenplay, I mean the Japanese screenplay. He's got 24 credits under his belt, including common sorry, I think it's ramen. Common, I suppose. Ramen writer Robin common. Kamen Rider Kamen Rider Thank you. You can send Ty get her anger and food a guess Shira and kill a kill. Anyway. Leo Chu and Eric Garcia worked on In the English screenplays, they both have very similar stuff under their belt. Theo's written seven things Eric's done 10 They both worked on Alex, Alexa and Katie, Prince of Pune. Pieria, super ninja and Afro Samurai. So kind of come from the same cloth. The actors now, this is this is a really interesting film because there is the Japanese version and there's the English version. So I'm just going to hit a couple of the main ones for the Japanese version, just so we kind of have a sense I will not really know their projects except for the guy who does the Japanese batman voice. Koichi Yama, Dara 376 credits oh, by the way, recently talked about him because he played jubi in Ninja Scroll, which I talked about a couple weeks ago, as well spike in Cowboy Bebop and was in Ghost in the Shell. In for the English version. We had Roger Craig Smith as Batman he has 306 credits, including Captain American, lots of the different Avengers animated things, and 87 episodes of sonic boom as Sonic. He's also been Batman for the Arkham Origins video game, and he was Batman and Superman, red sun and the Batman Unlimited trilogy. The Joker, the Japanese Joker was water. Takagi, who's been in 318 things including Pokemon is you mio and Jojos Bizarre Adventure I'm only naming things I've ever heard of. For the American, the Joker, Tony Hale. 157 things getting vetoed he hailed as the Joker's voice. We would know him as Buster Bluth from Arrested Development. Gary and Veep and forkie in Toy Story four. Yeah, okay. Sure. I mean, I I don't know how I feel about his performance. i It was fun enough, but it is on the verge of irritating. Yeah. And not not not really beautiful. Like Mark Hamill was so it's just yeah, I don't know. I don't know. He put his all into it. Um, the Japanese Catwoman was played by a caca Kakuma, who's been in 93 things. Nothing I'd heard of. Great Griffin is the American cat woman. But the one more name I do want to mention that I think is really interesting. Tara Strong played Harley Quinn and poison ivy in this. She has 607 credits. Voiceover actors, Yo, you know, I was talking about like, I'm only eight directed 18 things good for you. This is why I see numbers like this. And I'm like, Damn, girl, you get it. She plays back. That girl and killing joke. That girl slash Harley and DC Superhero Girls bubbles from Powerpuff Girls Unikitty in the Unikitty TV series, Twilight Sparkle in My Little Pony Friendship is Magic. And she's in something with Fairly Odd Parents but she she's in like everything. You can always tell the jobs on IMDb that take the least amount of time to be able to do Yeah, just like walk in walk out. Like oh, you are a day player for TV. You can do seven a week. I see. The guy who does the voice of the gorilla, Gorilla Grodd. He actually has 840 credits. So yeah, just want to throw that out there. So the story for this it's pretty fun. It's hard to imagine like okay, how are you going to do Batman in an anime in like feudal Japan? Like how are you going to make this story happen? And I would just assume they just start there. They just be like, imagine feudal Japan. But you mean like a what if like, what is very much like a what if I said they do actually shoehorn this in. So I actually did appreciate that they tried. So Batman is called to Arkham Asylum where Gorilla Grodd has created a device he has activated Nightwing Red Hood Robin and Red Robin, along with Alfred and Catwoman have also arrived at the scene, along with many of the major criminals in Gotham City who were invited there by Grodd. Grads great plan is to get all these criminals there and to activate a device that will send them back in time and then he will be left alone in Gotham to rule it without any any molestation from other criminals. So Catwoman is the first to reach the device she wants to steal it because she thinks it's gonna be worth something and it seems that she sets it off. So Batman goes up and then a big flash happens and it's too late. They all warp into this really interesting sort of a curious style Inception or dr. strange world bend where like this the wall are bending and they're running alongside it looks very cool. And Batman wakes up in a anime on a quiet street in feudal Japan, they have kind of like the Japanese villagers standing all around with their goods and dirt Street, and he's kind of just stood there and they all look at him like oh, and he's suddenly surrounded by a bunch of soldiers who are wearing these wooden Joker masks. And a flyer arrives at his foot and get stuck on it. And it it's all written in Japanese, and it has a interesting little scrawling of his face on it. So basically, he's discovered that Joker has arrived before him and has taken over this part of Japan. He also is in residence of Arkham Asylum which zapped away with them, and is in a castle overlooking the town. Now, of course, as Batman is want to do, he immediately goes and fights, he is not well prepared because Joker has been there for a while. So he has to piece the hell out after he gets some exposition as to what's going on, discovers that God has actually sent them all back in time. In addition to the Joker, all of the other core villains that are there have taken segments or like little kingdoms within Japan, and they're all fighting each other to try and have a winner who has all Japan so you've got segments that are taken up by Penguin, there's a bit by poison ivy to face has a little section and then deaths true. I have not encountered this villain before so I was like, I don't know who you are. But you've got a part I guess. So he's barely in it doesn't matter. out numbered Batman leaves pieces out and Catwoman finds him. She shows up with like a little cat puppet. It's really cute. And she's like wearing all this like Japanese woman gear. Like a little dress and a apron II thing and she's got the little pup and she goes now from like under a bridge and he's like, okay, I guess what, I guess you're here too. And not only is she here, but she takes him back to her safe house, which is where Alfred is there with the Batmobile. He has taken some they have arrived two years before Batman has gotten there because whoever was closest to the thing going off, got there first and then there's this huge time displacement. So Alfred has gone native and is really into Japanese cooking. So pretty pretty fun. So empowered Batman tries once again to fight Joker. But of course this is only the beginning. He does in fact fail because Joker has made a mecha arm come out of like a giant arm come out of Arkham Asylum. I don't know why or how. But he crushes the Batmobile and then the bat smaller whatever the bat plane and then it becomes the bat motorcycle and then it's like just a bat mecha suit. And then Batman has nothing. So make it bad even just himself. So of course the battle then leads to bigger and greater things including a battle at sea where Joker blows himself and Batman up. Now Batman wakes up to discover his lost literally everything he has nothing left so he decides to learn the way of the ninja, along with a troop of Robins are there alongside of him in a in fun, feudal Japan a warrior gear. And they are training under an ancient bat worshipping clan who predict that one day a Batman will come and save them from a war torn Japan. Batman teams up with good guys he teams up with bad guys. He does his best to take down Grodd and make his way back home. Alliances come and go. Anime styles come and go. There are not suitable Japanese and DC tropes. And Batman is forced to learn how to out think his enemies without his normal toys and tricks. So this foam it's so pretty. Like they cared. They cared a lot. The art is just gorgeous all the way through. I think it's a pretty fun concept. It can feel a little boring at times because he's constantly fighting Joker and you're like, Oh great. You're fighting Joker again. But sometimes the animation just straight up changes and you're like, Whoa, what is going on now? And there's just constant nods to different tropes and anime between the like action lines that show up and the big screaming mouths and the spittle in the sweat. It feels 100% anime and that's because there's a pretty much entirely Japanese team behind it. It's definitely lovingly done. There is a really fun mega fight in it. There's a fake Japanese film in it. There's a Powerpuff Girls style animation in it. There's the sleeping bubble that happens when somebody falls asleep for some unknown One reason in Japanese cartoons. There are samurai penguins. There are samurai monkeys, there are samurai plants, everybody gets to wear little samurai gear. It's more of a samurai film than it is a ninja film. But that's okay. There's a water fight a mega fight a rooftop sword fight. A final battle where Batman and Joker are so tired of punching each other. They're just slumping over and still trying to hit each other, which I always love when that happens. It is just super fun. I loved it a lot. The only thing is I wasn't sure about again, Joker's voice was a little grating, and then the female character designs, I found kind of gross. I mean, I know that like the big breasts and like, that's a whole style. But it didn't have to be the style, they could have gone more towards ghosts in the shell. And instead they went towards this sort of cheap Female TV anime, which I just didn't love. It made it really hard to connect with any of the female characters. So a little bit of trivia, this was developed in began development 2014 It's a collaboration between Warner Brothers and an entirely Japanese team, including Director Jin Jin pay Musa Sakai Saki and character designer taka, Takashi Okazaki, famous for creating Afro Samurai, which is I think how they got this project. The dialogue is about 90% difference between English and Japanese versions, although visuals are exactly the same. So Chu and Garcia, the two English screenplay writers said they didn't even have a general outline of Batman and just plot much less a detailed script throughout the movies production including while they wrote the English language version that stemmed from the differences between Western and Japanese animation processes. The Japanese animation in Japanese animation the writing and acting typically come at the end of the anime anime process, where in the western process you start at the beginning, because the anime is so art and visually driven, so you start getting storyboards and animation before you know exactly what the story is. So a lot of your job is trying to cobble together and figure out how it pieces how the pieces fit together and what people could be saying. I No wonder anaemic it's so friggin confused, right? It's crazy. Garcia said the Japanese process is based on more like manga manga is just visual storytelling, there isn't even that much dialogue. At some point. They did receive a rough, literal translation of the Japanese script, but it was only six pages long. And most of it was not usable. Um, yes, so good. The literal translation they said, The literal translation doesn't really serve us the story the way the American audience would understand. And some of the jokes just didn't translate at all. They also received storyboards from the Japanese artists, so they were often so rough that it was difficult to tell which characters were which much less pieced together a comprehensive idea of what was going on in the movie. Often they just go back months after writing something and redo it when they receive more context or information about the scene. Warner Brothers was pretty hands off, which allowed them to be super creative with the scripts. The fight scenes were actually filmed with live actors and then the animation was created using that footage. Batman Ninja is done in many different anime styles as I alluded to, a lot of these are just notes about anime in general. Yeah, I will say IGN awarded Batman ninja a score of 9.7 out of 10 saying, quote, DC tried to do something new by bringing in a visionary Japanese animators to offer a refreshing take on one of the company's most beloved characters and the finished product not only built upon the great adaptations that have come before, but surpass them. However, Steven savage of Amazon review fame says, quote, Batman ninja feels like a dare or a drunken late night conversation of a fanboy argument come to life. It is quite literally time travel accident sends Batman and company back in time. And quote, that summary, by the way is the most normal part of the film. The rest is insane. This is the film where the fifth weirdest thing is that Robin the latest one uses a magic flute to summon a monkey army. This is a film where Gorilla Grodd hangs out in Hot Springs. This is a film where again, I am not making this up. Superhero Red Hood gives his horse its own mask. It feels like a kind of pop art explosion and quote. So I kind of agree with that. It does feel exactly like a pop art explosion. It feels like an art art film. I love the animation and I hated the story. That's fair. That makes so much sense. And I don't know why it couldn't have just been a what F or as DC called it Elseworlds and just say we're telling a fantasy story About Batman characters in a way you've never seen, and we're doing it, we brought in these people who are, who are big names in their own culture, and they are going to take a Western IP and, you know, do it as if it had been brought up in Japan. I think that would have been a very cool movie that might have made a little more sense. Do you think that, um, that might have lost more of the fans because they're tried to shoehorn it into the modern Batman story? Are you asking if I think that that is maybe the reason why the audience response is so low? Yeah. I well, I mean, it's also just, I found it very confusing. Yeah. I'm having a very hard time figuring it out. And I don't know I just I was, at some point, I was just like, I'm just gonna sit here for just for the visual of the ride. I you know, it's funny, because this is the second time I've watched it. The first time, I was kind of in and out and not super paying attention. And I was like, Man, that movie sucked. And this time, I sat down and forced myself to watch it. And it was like watching a completely different film. I was like, oh, oh, oh, okay. It like I felt like I got a lot more the second time through you were talking about the different basically completely different scripts. Did you watch them the Japanese? No, I didn't. I didn't realize until I was doing the looking into it that they were so different. And I am dying to see the Japanese version now. Because I would love to know how different it is different like, is it a whole new story? A whole new story? Pretty Oh, wow. Yeah. It's like a 90% different story. Holy shit. Yeah. Wow. So I would love to know kind of what that version looks like. And especially with such talented Japanese voiceover artists, how that would come across to. Yeah, I mean, the one thing I really appreciate is that DCS animation. That arm of the company seems to be like given carte blanche to just do what you guys are doing and they take risks that the DC films don't take. Yeah. And you know, I really appreciate that. There was that other animated Batman movie that came out? Last year maybe where it was kind of him with a Bruce Lee kind of guy. I don't know how I want to call it an old dragon or some of those Batman. Yeah, it was basically a Bruce Wayne movie. And I fucking loved that. But I really love the balls that it took to put that out because that got a lot of critical backlash to Oh, because you know, where's Batman? This is the thing that I found really frustrating reading the Amazon reviews is everyone who gave it one star was like, that's not my Batman. And I'm like, dude, bro. I'm sorry. Which Batman is your Batman? Because I went back and read detective Batman, whatever. It is awful. Is not my Batman. My Batman was the animated series from the 90s. And guess what? That's not the same as any other bet. Like every Batman is a new fucking different. Totally new take on Batman. Yeah. So I mean, like, yes, he's still always angry and his mom is always still dead. And he is still dressing as bad but the the stories around it often in the way it's told. I mean, Frank Miller wrote the old man Batman and what the 80s Yeah, so that's probably the first time they took our really big risk. Yeah, I would agree with that. I think the thing that kind of made me chuckle was a Bruce Wayne is still Batman. So if you're just disappointed that he's not putting on the costume because he was still doing all sorts of cool Batman stuff without wearing the costume. That's what I loved about Mask of the Phantasm like I love Bruce Wayne. Yes, that was that was again my Batman. Good. Who wants to go next? Yeah, come on guys. Your wants to feel I have no hard strong feelings on this. Oh, hard to feel your feelings feeling gentle and soft? Yeah. All right. Sounds here. That's it. I'm ready to go. So I picked a much more recent movie and Ninja Assassin 2009. Abandoned by your parents, without a home without people to care for you. You should have died. But the state you fought your entire life was brought you to this moment. To not fail yourself to not fail your family. Now the time has come for you to prove you have made them Proud my son to never forget who you are they won't stop go now. The Rotten Tomato on this one is relatively accurate I think critics have it at 26. And the crowd has a 50 for budget of 10 million or 40 million depending on where you look Gods that's different. And a bot worldwide box office of 61 million. So whatever it did, it made some money. Let's hope that budget was 10 million. If it was it was much more impressive accomplishment directed by James McTeigue. They say says Name V for Vendetta, the Ravens survivor since eight. And the writer one one writer Matthew sand wrote Deepwater Horizon and J Michael Straczynski wrote 100 111 episodes of Babylon five UFO Murder She Wrote seven episodes of that 12 episodes of The Twilight Zone at reboot. Yeah, there's a good one there and sensate. Let's see stars character named rain will name you'll you'll not know him from the Korean version of full house. Yes. Many many Korean shows. He's in Speed Racer. Rakowski Speed Racer, rescued from Die Another Day Olympus and fallen The Fast and the Furious. The Man with the Iron Fists all kinds of good stuff. Naomi Harris from 28 Days Later Skyfall Spectre, moonlight and rampage divers actor there. This was i i wrote down this because it popped up on Netflix rated R for strong, bloody stylized violence through play. They got that one right stylize this definitely a key word there. So if you have seen five ninja movies, you've seen a version of this story at least three, maybe four times. This is the unique story of a ninja getting trained at an injury school having problems with the teacher at times having a quote unquote brother who is like the guy he grew up with that then becomes his antagonist. And you know, so the storyline is base starts off with a very whiny guy getting a tattoo classic style tattoo with the smack in the little bamboo. Whatever it is, seems like a bad move for super tough guy to sit there and whine and complain and yell at the tattoo artists for making him hurt. But that doesn't last long. Because suddenly the lights go out. What happens next? Ninja happens in the night this guy can throw the fuck out of a shirt. Sarah can those ninja stars rip through people like bullets? And it's like eight or nine of them at a time. And like how many ninjas are there? One so you know it's fun to watch the Japanese version of dude bros get the shit blown up out of them with swords and now just all the basic stuff blood flying everywhere. So okay, yeah, this looks cool. And so now there's a not sure if she was a reporter or some kind of government investigator, but she's looking for ninjas. Because you know, they don't exist, just like in every one of these movies. But of course she is on to something investigates our heroes room and he comes back to check it see, so you can see all the ninja toys he's got hidden around the room. And this is a buff as ninja. This dude looks like he's out of a marvel. movie or something? Apparently in this ninja movie, ninjas can heal themselves. Teacher cuts his hand and then does some shit sparkles or whatever and then it's all better. Sometimes ninja movies kind of feel like vampire movies like whoever writes it just makes up some shit for it the ninja trading is brutal. kid gets crap kicked out of them quite a bit. However, for these invisible ninjas, as she's investigating to find them, they show up on camera. Mom modern security camera catches this super ninja thank god dude. But turns out that she's getting too close. And what we thought was the bad ninja spoiler alert for 12 minutes into the movie is actually a hero ninja who's trying to stop the equivalency of the foot from killing or the hand combat from from killing all these people and being assassins around the world where they get paid what 100 pounds of gold I think likeness you better frickin deliver if you're charged those kind of rates. He's trying to make sure they can't. So we're still the movie is kind of a flashbacks to his development as becoming who he is versus what's going on now. So you like you see his first ninja kill and it is a bloody freaking mess in a in a bathroom where he pokes some guy what looks like in the artery and the arterial spray starts happening. But he fights for another good five, six minutes before he dies. eautiful and so it's kind of messy. couple of problems with the film. And that is the CGI blood. Yeah. Oh, no, it is everywhere. Why not? Oh, you know, is what 2009 I think or? Yeah. 2009. So that's kind of the key that first 1015 years 2000 Where everybody hadn't quite figured out you know what? Let's just put some blood and we can CGI enhance it and it looks so much better. But now it's just flat CGI blood. I think every time Oh, wow. governments involved this is an expansive story for such a basic thing. So you've got now the government agencies are following her to find out if she's actually onto real ninjas. Because you know they want to stop these 100 pound a gold assassins because they take out anybody. And the first encounter between ninja in the military goes exactly how you would expect and in the military get their ass kicked thoroughly. Despite the bad CGI blood and some of the bad CGI weapons. The fights are pretty cool overall. The problem is in a Blumhouse style, you've got to start with a certain level. And by the end you've raised it to such a ridiculous level that it kind of becomes a show. The final fight we're talking about James Bond not too long ago in the Final Fight is like the end of a Bond movie like Moonraker or something where there's suddenly hundreds of villains all over the place and James Bond's reading through them taking care of them. It's sort of like that. It's still cool. Yeah, it's still kind of cool. It's still fun to watch. So that final battle is the military showing up at his school. So of course now he has to face his teacher and his bro. Final combat. By that final combat, I think every weapon was CGI and all the blood was CGI. The swords looked weird, because they were way too shiny. As I you guys put this great choreography in here, why not remove the weapons and just have the fight happen? Because the choreography was really good. But so this was fun. This is a fun movie. I can the I totally get the Rotten Tomatoes reviews. I think it nails it. Because if you're just looking for an over the top fun, ninja movie, this is a pretty good one. If you're looking for a deep ninja movie, this is like that you have to classify it as over the top or deep. That's right. It's hard to have both. It's hard I'm trying to think of any deep rough film was produced by 14 people including the way Teskey sisters who sort of put it together from the beginning after seeing him in in their movie Speed racing racer they thought wow, this guy's really good. Even though he wasn't a martial artist. The weapon he favors throughout the movie is the cursor cursor gamma. He did use to learn how to use some of these weapons. Since which I wish they would have taken more advantage of the that weapon is that when you see sometimes in Ninja movies, which is a long chain with a knife at the end, incredibly hard to master but I can see why you want to use it in a movie, but he worked with chain single and double swords shuriken. Learning all of them he had no martial arts. Rain had no martial arts experience before filming the film. He was a pop star, Korean pop star. And he trained for depending on where to review. His statement I read was I trained for eight months, five days a week, eight hours a day. Find another one that said he trained for six months, six hours a day. But so I will go with what he said. And this I totally believe I ate chicken breast and vegetables. He is ripped. He learned a lot of martial arts, taekwondo, Kickboxing Tai Chi karate, so he had a lot of fun learning and was taught by some real powerhouse martial artists from Japan and Korea and a variety of places. But it worked out for him. So the producers Lily and Lena with Chesky hired francisci to do a complete rewrite six weeks before the film started as they didn't like Matthew sans original at all. Oh my God. They he finished the rewrite in 53 hours in a studio approved and sent to the actors in the same week. Oh my god, which kinds of explains the deep cliched level of this story is one thing they did I thought was really cool for the fight scenes. They did it without wire work. There's no wire work in the fight scenes which is a nice choice. This this one I guess I think I said this was created specifically for rain to do it. The one one reviewer said the film is a gore fest a bore Fest at a snorefest that was marred by a race. Mark LaSalle of San Francisco Chronicles and Joe Williams at St. Louis Post Dispatch. This amateurs action flick is so lacking in personality or punch it ought to be titled V for video store discount Ben now that guy should be fired There you go. It doesn't even make sense. Well V for Vendetta was like get that okay? That's because V for Vendetta actually makes sense. Yeah. VS video store discount ban, which is not what they're called does is really, really stretching. Rain was awarded the biggie biggest badass award at the MTV Music Awards. For his work in the jazz. It's got to be as good as getting a Nickelodeon prize. There you go. Yeah, that giant surfboard thing. You've seen this right, go. I unapologetically love this movie. I love the bad CGI, because it gives it such a weird look that it's almost like you're watching a live action anime. Weird. Yeah. And and I really appreciate that, that the blood looks like a cartoon. Yeah. The rest of it is it's a cartoon blood that's flying out of, you know, a living person's wounds and stuff. I really thought it was. I thought it was on purpose. I thought it was a stylistic choice. It very well could have been I mean, considering what Speed Racer looked like. Yeah, most of the time didn't bother me too much. The two times they hit me real bad was in the Knights shot. Where's virtual darkness and somebody gets slashed and suddenly there's this splash of red with a night lice sort of Yeah. Okay. And then the that final battle, which was really cool, except then the sword popped up and I was like, Yeah, that looks weird. Yeah, I mean, but I can see what you're saying. Yeah, it's a great way to watch Oh, over the top. I just remember sitting down to watch this. You know, I probably showed up on Netflix five or six years ago. I hadn't heard anything about it. I started watching it. I was like, this is ridiculously gory. What is going on in this movie? I loved it by choice. I'm glad you chose it because if you hadn't I would have chosen that as for the the end of our final ninja ones. I am quite pleased with the final watch. Fun. Well, okay, Eric, I know you've seen this one because we sat in theater together way back in 2013 Wow you guys yeah Joe Retaliation. The Duke securities only one man did authorize a strike like that. I voted for my fellow world leader You're looking at an advanced weapon system capable of destroying each of the countries 14 times over 15 In the case of North Korea, and all at the push of a button we have to assume that there's no one we can try. There is one man general call me Joe. Like you stole it as your good friend. You need no catchphrase. Everywhere I've come to feel no pain and no screams in the shed residences I can't commit to return. They didn't say anything about realistic Oh my god. Little indie film budget of $130 million. box office $376 million. She's the critics on Rotten Tomato give it 29% And the audience only gives it 48% directed by Jon M. Chu, who directed Jem and the Holograms Crazy Rich Asians and in the heights what up? What makes Jesus written by a couple of guys that we like Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick who together also wrote zombie land one and two, Deadpool one and two. And the upcoming clue remake Wow, damn, stars young man named Dwayne Johnson. I'm such movies as Doom, Race to Witch Mountain, tooth fairy. And Vanessa's favorite movie Southland Tales. Still good in it. Also serves Channing Tatum from step up. Battle in Seattle. And GI Joe Rise of Cobra. Oh my god. I didn't know he was a battle. But of course, back then he would have been nobody so yeah, dancer. It's weird that I've seen all of those. Yes. And Adrian publickey. Who was was in Legion. She's been in John Wick Agents of SHIELD and the oft maligned Wonder Woman pilot movie that was written by David E. Kelly. Oh, yes, remember that one? No, it is bad. I find that one. I'm just gonna list off a couple of the other actors here. Lee Byung Hoon, Jonathan Pryce, Ray Park, Walton Goggins Arnold Vosloo and Bruce motherfucking. Willis. So Vanessa ninja, you haven't seen this movie? No, I have not. It's been on my list of things to check out. Yeah, trust me, I am totally down for checking it out. But I have not yet. I would have done it for this but did not Well, let me sell you on it. It opens with the Joe's on a mission which they succeed at and then get a showboat their way through make sense. But during their celebration afterwards at the GI Joe secret home base, there are suddenly attacked by Cobra, who managed to bomb them all into oblivion and kill one. Um, so When the smoke clears, only three Joe's have survived. Oh my god roadblock Lady J and Flint. Not a big spoiler. Channing Tatum dies in the beginning of this movie. Yes. So they realize that they were somehow betrayed and they start thinking something is up with the President of the United States because they're like, analyzing his TV appearances and like he's holding his pen in a different hand and he's doing this and I'm just like, Y'all Okay, guess what, I hold the pen and both and sometimes I would hate for the job to decide we got to take this motherfucker out because the time on TV I was holding the pen in the wrong It's Joe and on. Oh, my God. So anyhow, the Joe's are on the run now because the President is claiming that they that they betrayed America and all this stuff and so they have to figure out what's going on with the President and stay on the cover. Meanwhile, Cobra, the Jos enemies Cobra breaks out Storm Shadow and Cobra Commander from where they have been in prison for the end of the last movie, I guess because I never watched it. It was awful and I passed on it back the only reason I ever watched this is because the rock was the icon Yes. And I was too old to be into the GI Joe cartoon and toys because my GI Joe or 12 Veg dolls Oh yeah, that have realistic looking guns and all this shit and hair like I have right? Yes. Here. EagleEye action kung fu grip that was the GI Joe like so and they were all just called Joe. So they had they had a scar on their cheek. Oh. So they broken out to Storm Shadow and Cobra Commander Cobra Commander is pretty cool and evil in this Storm Shadow Of course is the ninja equivalent to Snake Eyes, which is the ninja on the Joe stamp. The way you can tell them apart Vanessa is Storm Shadow is in all white ninja gear. Okay, and Snake Eyes is in all black. But see, they've subverted you're right, you're right that because the bad guy is all in white. Good guy is all in black. I'm gonna try to fall down. This is hard. But they're sure, yeah, they're showing these kids that, you know, he suffered expectations. This is a kid's movie that's giving them this is how we do things in art. Sometimes we squat. This is hilarious around a white ninja is the bad guy. Right? Right. This is what Eric was talking about with his deep movies. It's really just about the KKK. And like really saying it's a good way to introduce the concept of kids. So anyway, this turns into a basic James Bond, Mission Impossible Bourne Identity story. So, but it's all peppered with all sorts of crazy action scenes as the drills have to stop the president from launching rods from God and various cities. Now they don't call it rubber. But Are you guys familiar with this? They say it is a theoretical weapon. There are plenty of people who say this exists right now. Are you familiar with this? No. Never heard ology. It's kind of like real genius. If you remember the movie in that one, I don't developing a weapon that can kill one person from space. Oh, it's it's except that this can kill entire cities from space. It's huge tungsten rods that would be launched from a satellite at a city. And from that speed, you would like just destroy a city but there'd be no radiation. Right? Oh, weird. And nice. Look, some people are saying, you know, oh, this is theoretical. And some people are saying these things already exist up there. So there's a lot of satellites who knows what's happening? I know I'm not getting good internet when I'm off road. Right. Anyway, so what we find out is the President has actually been kidnapped and he is now being impersonated by Sol tan. Okay, I'm trying. Zoltan has this kind of crazy mask. And I guess this is his his thing that he can impersonate people. It's a nano byte mask that makes him look exactly like a person. Let's not at all think about the fact that the actor playing Zoltan is a buff. 40 year old and the actor playing the President is an old white dude. And their body style should have given them away. The straining on the President's shirt should have been more of a giveaway. But it is not. There are a couple of very cool ninja scenes in this. The best one being a fight on the side of sheer cliff. Remember that? Oh, yeah, that was oh, yeah, it is really cool, where everyone is connected to ropes. And they're running along basically a vertical surface. And they're fighting and slashing at each other and trying to cut the ropes. Oh my god who cut the ropes. These guys just fall to their death. It is. It is really something I mean, it is a spectacular. In the purest definition of the word it is a spectacle. I think they kept Bruce Willis his role in this fairly secret, or at least I remember being surprised by when he pops up there. Because I don't think he pops up in the opening credits. But now it's been however many years and it's plastered all over when I looked up this stuff. But he plays General Joe Colton. And he is the original GI Joe there. They make a big deal of like, we got to go where it all started. And you realize, oh, Joe is named after Joe. And he's awesome in this. There's a pretty great scene where they visit him in his home and to convince him to help him and he just starts wandering through the house and pushing these like buttons and all these hidden compartments start popping out of closets, in the refrigerator and everything. He's literally got maybe 100 guns stashed house all over this nice little farmhouse thing that he's got, and probably you know, 1000s of rounds of ammunition. Things it's it's it's clever and cute and all that paranoid man. I really like this movie, and I still don't think that Hollywood Word understands the national treasure that is Dwayne Johnson and that we will go see him in a bad movie like this. Yeah, over and over. I, I would have to say that most of the movies I love him in are bad. But I still go see him. I see him in the theater. Yeah, I've seen skyscraper in the theater. Yes, there you go. I also feel like this movie knows how stupid it is. And that if I feel like the writers were like, but wait, if we take out all the stupid parts, this movie is going to be a lot less entertaining. So they're just like, Oh, come on, we're having a good time with it. The one thing I always love whenever I see the rock is I think about can you imagine like trying to time travel back to the 70s and explain to some kid that the coolest person in the world is named Dwayne in 2021. And he's just like, Dwayne, and you're like, that's not it. That's not all man. He is also bald. Some kid in the 70s just desperately trying to grow his hair out and everything. Yeah, and he's like, really? The coolest guy about good. You would know if you some little bit of trivia. The cliff battle scene took two months to film a seven minute scene, oh my God, and was shot in a New Orleans warehouse previously used to build NASA rockets. What had been fitted with a gigantic green screen wall at a very steep angle with a lot of rigging above to swing the stunt people through. Wow. There's a bunch of behind the scenes footage available on this like this looks as dangerous as the actual scene. The film was banned in Pakistan due to its negative portrayal of that country. According to Robert Remus, who played a character named to Sergeant slaughter and the WWF Oh, okay. Yes. He was originally supposed to appear in this film, but he was unable to do so because of rights issues with Hasbro and Mattel. So they made Joe Colton the guy he was supposed to be the guy they go really? Yeah. Joe Colton was brought into the script to replace him but that also makes the rock the second WWF wrestler to portray Joe well Sergeant slaughter was in the cartoons all the time. I think it was either one giving the lesson at the end probably. I think that's what it was. No one is the battle fan down here. Yeah, no. Joe Colton is played by Bruce Willis. But in the crossover comic GI Joe Versus the Transformers where he is originally introduced the characters drawn to look just like Chuck Norris. If they'd gotten Chuck Norris in this role, also, this movie is dumb, but really, really fun. So, Vanessa, I'll check it out. Homework sounds awesome. Is GI Joe Retaliation is supposed to originally be called Cobra strikes. I know that works for me. That actually is pretty solid. You know, being an adult. You get the best homework. Yes. Yeah. Okay, guys. Well, I think that that's, it's my turn. We are kind we're holding out in November. And I was just going to hit y'all up with ninjas for next week. But God as much fun as this have been. It's time to move on. And my thought is dinosaur December. I'm not gonna say no. To say no to that. I have an idea about that before we say full now I will go with okay, if you watch the dinosaur TV shows now at least two hours worth No, I love it and I can't do it. I've already watched a little bit. Nope, I can't do it. Can't do it. Can I handle it? Double? Why My poor mom had to sit there while I watched it for hours on end every day. Not for women parents are saying your mom. Yes. Yes, for sure. My dad would do the same thing with me with like Buck Rogers, but I've watched it as an adult and I'm like, Oh, now I know why he was okay with watching this. Yeah, it was a lot of juggling going on. So I don't know what to really call this but there is a particular trope I like in movies that has happened so often that I feel like it is its own sub genre now. And that is the trope of a group of experts are sent to a mysterious place and then all hell breaks loose. Man I already did bats. You can do it again now. So in this in this scenario, alien would not work because that was a group of miners who accidentally stumbled on this. Okay, aliens. would work because they send the Marines and now autos take care of it. But alien four would not work because it's a bunch of people who accidentally stumbled on us. So, but Aliens Vs Predator woodwork scientists set to a mysterious place all right and goes to shit. I like this. This should be really fun. Yeah, so now you can't use any of those movies. Um, that's fine. Yeah, I'm okay with that. And by the time we get to that episode, I will have figured out what to call this alien. But that also means that it's time for me to say thanks to everyone who's participating in the value for value model who's liking and sharing posts who's sharing when the episodes come out? Or who's just reaching out every once in a while? Danny Wilford reached out to me and he was like, hey, maybe for ninja November you guys could sneak in some extra content or something. And Danny, I hope you enjoyed a guess worth earlier this episode. Oh, that was for Danny. Oh, that's I love that. That's so cool. Meanwhile, Danny is 3d printing me in Eagle One spaceship. I don't know what that means. Space 1999 Now that's not really a time. I can't wait to get it sanded down painted like a silly little geek. Because I was as a child that will toy was out of the price range. Yeah, that was a big one. Yeah. Is it is it physically large? The one he is printing me looks very big. Wow. Fun. Yeah. And sweeter. Thank you to all the randos out there who are listening and maybe not commenting but spreading the love. I went and met up with two of my closest friends to watch dune before it left theaters. And one of them said I listened to your podcast. So that was weird, but also so lovely. So thank you everybody out there. But of course to the people who were also liking and sharing and five starring and all that kind of stuff. Oh show you know. Alright, guys, I have a limited amount of time in my day and you guys are burning through it. Well, before we go though, we should we're doing something fun coming up, aren't we? Oh, yeah, it should be next week actually. Yeah, I think we're gonna record it. We're gonna do our live show at the Emerald City Comic Con. Yep. And I think that that'll probably just be like the the next episode we put out after we do it. Yeah, sound later probably. Yeah, just best way to do it. Yeah. So if you're coming to Emerald City Comic Con, swing on by, please say hi to Eric and leave me alone. Sounds alright. Alright, we'll see you there. And we'll see you then. And we'll see you next week. Boy, our show is recorded somewhere high above Naval Station Everett at the nexus of all realities, and is engineered and produced by Eric Margaret. Our theme music is strange aeons part one by the band nightshade is used with permission. Find strange aeons radio on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Wherever find podcasts Yeah, I'm sure it's great that she flies. Good job, guys.