THE LIGHT FANGDANGO!

THE LIGHT FANGDANGO!

Kelly is offended by authors on Facebook, and the gang is getting burned out on Fangruary.

Also discussed: Lord of Misrule, Night Swim, Cathy's Curse.

Transcript

Unknown: 0:03

Oh, I'm sorry did I break your concentration somewhere between science and superstition such sites to show you strange aeons. Welcome to strange aeons radio. That's Eric over there. Hello. That's Vanessa over there. Hello. I'm Kelly talking fart jokes and Vanessa's does not think it's funny. Or not funny. Parts are funny. They're not funny. They'll never be funny. I don't, it's not funny in life, not funny and film. Well, when you hear me snickering over here for no reason later in this episode, you suddenly smell it's gonna turn far away. I can lean as far as I can, in my seat, avoid acid cloud. Here, when you're recording live again, and I couldn't be happier. What I'm not happy about Oh. So you guys know that I've been pushing myself as a writer more and more often lately, since I have a novel coming out. And by the time you're hearing this, you probably if you're part of this serialized novel, people probably got your bill for the last, the last chapter and all that stuff. But that means that I've been getting a lot of friend requests from other authors, people, I don't know and stuff like that. And I'm like, sure I'll, I'll accept this. And I'm not going to out this guy. But I did unfriend him when I saw this post, where he was talking about his new novel that had come out and was a horror novel. And he then said, what I really need are reviews. And when you hit 50 reviews, that does something to the algorithm, right? I'd appreciate it. Even if you haven't read the book, leaving a nice review for it. It can be two sentences long. Oh, no. And I just looked at this for a minute, trying to wrap my head around what he was asking, which was, I don't care if you read my book, please leave a review. And I was going to say, Hey, are we doing stuff like this? This seems a little shitty, especially to be asking people for stuff like this. But I decided as I've gotten in my old age, that I don't need to be the shit sir, that I used to be. And I I just unfriended it. unfriended this person. Then I went back to check on it because I was talking to a couple other authors about him. And I saw an author that I do respect had gone on and said, let me get this straight. You're asking me to write a positive review for a book I haven't read. I can guarantee you that I shall never review or read a book of yours was like, wow, this guy does not mind being a shit, sir. Yeah, he's actually an established author. So yeah, but I just thought, you know, how weird that this is where we're at? Yeah. Probably met him. He's a frequent guest of cryptoeconomic. Matt Shaw. Yeah, it engages sort of quite well, with people like that, in that he'll screenshot and place like, this is what's happening. Yes, I've unfriended than blocked this person. But just Why do you leave this random shit on my page? If you don't like me? Just leave. Or if you hate me, give me good reasons. And we'll talk it out. I have no problem going back and forth. I've seen lots of authors leave the requests for reviews, but I don't think I've ever seen one. I don't care. That's incredible. It's something else. And I mean, obviously, you want to get some reviews on your book, because it looks like people have read it. And people are notoriously bad at leaving reviews and I'm bad at leaving reviews. I need to go out there and review a few more of these books that I bought that I really enjoyed. Whenever I've asked for reviews for anything, even on this podcast, as always, please leave an honest review. Yeah, hate it. You don't have to leave the review. But if you feel like you have to leave a review and you hate it, I get it. But please, if you leave us one star, give us a reason. I'd love to hear what the reason is then just tap on one star and leave. Come on. Let us know because we're always talking about vampires. Okay, fine. At least listen, I'm about to leave a one star review for the show exactly. Like it's it makes sense. What I am thinking of doing since I released this novel in five parts first serialized, I am thinking of reaching out to the 33 people who did it and saying if you leave an honest review of the novel, I'll send you a copy of the actual novel afterwards. To those 33 people, except that I'm like, I know some of you haven't read the story, right? You bought it as a collector, so I can't have you leaving a review for it right? But But I do understand, you know, the need for reviews, that's how people find your name, when they're looking for something, we're in this weird world where anyone under a certain age, let's say, I don't know, 25 lives in a universe of tick tock and YouTube and algorithms, where it's, as you start to engage with something, a person or product or whatever, you are asked to leave a review immediately. And I think that that shift has overtaken a lot of other things, including things that are a little more old school, like books. It's such books. It's such a weird thing, because you're, you know, you're putting yourself out there as an artist. And most of us have a little bit of an ego anyway. So you know, because we slapped our name on something. And what we really want is people to say nice things about Sure. But I don't know, there is a part of me that I feel very blessed in that I have a pretty good job. And I don't have to make sales on this book. So I can just kind of create this art. And if people like it fantastic. And if people buy it fantastic. But if they don't, it's not going to stop me from creating the art. Yeah. And I think we're in such a weird, toxic time for certain types of writers. I have a very good friend who started making those like, animal sex fiction or whatever. You go, yes. And she she left the film industry started working, writing these things, which she's really passionate about. But the need for content from the readers is so strong, that she has to put out these like five 600 page books. Yes, like probably three or four a year, she just Chuck's these things out. Because the if she doesn't, then like the way the algorithm works is she starts to lose money. And like, this is her job. Like this is what she does. So it's become like really difficult for her. And this is something she even enjoys doing. So yeah. I mean, there's a part of me that's like, the worst thing that could happen to me is the book gets popular and popular enough that I could turn this into a full time job because then I think I would probably fucking hate doing it. You never even if it comes up popular. You don't have to leave your job. Keep doing what you're doing. There's nothing tell you that. Oh, you're doing really well, on this avenue. You should quit everything and only for bonus money. I think I should go in and cut and paste Steve's appearance on our show. Send that to him go hey, I've got your review. You can just cut and paste this. Yeah, yeah. That Well, that's the other thing is like, I don't want to ask for reviews. Because half the people are friends of mine. And then they're gonna say something that I'm gonna be like, Hey, that was really nice of you. Could you tone it down a little bit? I don't feel comfortable with how much you liked something based on us knowing each other. You're just supposed to do what like British people do and just kind of nod and pretend it never happened. I'm gonna be like, is it okay, if I knock your rating down to three stars instead of five stars? No. Oh, anyway, I just thought it was really weird and kind of demoralizing to see this guy doing this. Yeah, it's hard. It's hard. When you start inviting people you don't know into your circle, and you start to see them. They'll edit out like, everyone's will log into Facebook and be like, when did I become friends with this incredibly racist, sexist? Like, taking literally me? Are you looking right at me while you're saying? I'm making eye contact? Um, but like I've discovered, especially in the film industry, like I will add a lot of people because I'm like, oh, like we're in the same circle or whatever. And then I'm like, Why do I know you? You are saying the most horrific things. And then like, fuck this out and I don't need to see your bullshit. Well, speaking of bullshit, I watched a couple of movies this week. Oh, you know what there were I watched four movies, two of which I liked very much. Two of which I didn't like very much. I think I'm going to talk about night swim the latest about the haunted swimming pool. Not very good. No, very good. Except towards the end. It got really good. Oh, and I was like, Ah, you guys why? Did you wait so fucking long? You've already cemented how much I am not enjoying this film, to try and to try and catch me this late hour is is bad. But I have to admit, there was something about the end of it that I really enjoyed a lot. I was afraid it was going to be a lot of this is all in this guy's head. And I have seen this movie before a bunch of times. And there's a shift towards the end that I was like, Okay, this is cool. too little too late, though, you guys. night swim is a rental. It is about a family that moves into a house with an old pool. And they kind of clean the pool up and put water in. And it's a pool that is fed by a spring. So they're making a big deal. The the builders are making a big deal about how rare these things are and how they have healing properties and stuff like that. And of course, one of the guys has an injury that that heals very quickly. And you're like, Oh, this is getting kind of cool. But there is a price for this kind of stuff. Right? This stuff doesn't come free. The monkey part of swimming pools? Absolutely. And I just Yeah, at the end of it. I was like, ah, almost this really needed a rewrite. And I don't know, maybe a stronger director or something like that. But anyway, next one, not for me. Well, I'm just talking about something I am freaking loving, which is continuing to watch the season of True Detective. Season three. Yes. It's so it's me. I don't know. It's so unbelievably good that I'm kind of I feel bad for anything else that comes out this year, because I'm like, I've already got my favorite show for 2024. Wow, holy cow. Yeah, I love the writing. I love the editing. I love the acting. I think the sound design is incredible. I think the ideas are unique and just fun to watch. I can just watch weird shit happening in this small town in Alaska all day long. I don't need to know why. It's just weird. It's like Twin Peaks on ice. Just I'm really enjoying it. But I did see somebody that I know and and, you know, kind of friendly with on Facebook. hating on it. Absolutely hating on it. And I found myself getting irrationally angry. And I was just like, Why? Why do you dislike it? And I think I just circle back to this thing of that we've talked about before where it's easy to hate something. I think it's really easy to be like, You know what, this thing fucking sucks? Because apparently because there's a lot of spirals. You can't argue with that there. Yeah, and he was comparing it a lot to season one and he has some valid, thoughtful reasons why he disliked it. And I was like, Okay, I get it, but it's still to me was like, you have to be so blind to so many incredible parts of this and really go in it with sour grapes into your mouth ready to go that I just I don't know, I was really I was really frustrated because I was like, I feel like they're just doing so much good work. And it's so hard to make something good. That I don't know. Anyway, I'm continuing to enjoy this fucking thing. Me too. Because I'm blown away by it. It's part of what I'm finding really interesting is they're pretty much all assholes. Yeah, writers are definitely getting away from that feeling. We have to have somebody likable to follow in the show. And this show is deep into that and they're all great but there isn't a person that maybe the younger the kid is a little bit of that but but the everything is done well enough that that doesn't matter. Story is what is moving this thing forward as much as anything else and everybody has this kind of trauma that even the worst characters you you sort of feel like pathos towards. So I don't know there's yeah, there's a really interesting dynamic we're usually I don't enjoy something with all the characters are super hateable, but this time, I'm just like, I Yeah, I'm okay living with these people. They give them a reason to be Yeah, tickets. backfist. Yeah, and having those like objects keep showing up from their past and then they just keep, you know, like the rosary that shows up for the traffic cop or whatever. And she just chucked it out the window and it's like this was on your dead mom last time you saw it. She didn't tell anybody about it. You know, we know there's some kind of horrible thing and she's like, fuck this thing. I don't want to think about this thing. I don't want this thing here. I'm not going to acknowledge this thing. Might be ghosts might be not might be my head doesn't matter checking it out the window. And there's something really neat about that. I don't I'm really enjoying it? I don't think it's going to be my favorite thing. It's a little early in the year to say, no, no, I don't. I don't like it as much as I liked season one. But I am really loving all of the performances for sure. And I love the visuals of it. And if you've seen the trailer for this coming up episode, that spiral is looking like, it's going to be something really interesting and so mucky. I'm I'm only a little worried that, you know, the next episode is the last episode and there are a lot of things to wrap up. So that means it's going to happen fast and maybe not in a completely satisfying satisfactory way. I wonder if they'll make like a two hour episode or if it's I don't there is a lot. There's a lot to get through. So definitely improvement over the last couple seasons. I really remember very little about now. Yes. Awesome. Yes, this one. I've only seen season one and this one. So I've skipped skipped out on season two was good stuff in both the other seasons. But now those seasons needed six episodes to tell their story. Yes, exactly. Plus, you're following up what you're following up is just it's rough. So pretty usual go in a different direction. A seventh release from a while ago called Cathy's curse. I love this movie. Okay. Yeah. Yes, it was Severan does that kind of the criterion does that criterion closet. While Severan does the Severan cellar is the same thing. Same idea. And this movie came up in damn near every single one. It seemed like every other video of somebody off yet this one's great. Oh, this movie and I've never seen it. It's like, I've got to get this and check it out. And it is batshit crazy. And really good. The idea of a lady dies in a car crash and takes over her niece. Yeah. And then kind of goes on a weird killing spree. And it is just bizarre, but incredibly well done. Because it Canadian. It seems like it feels odd under some reason I thought it was like Australian. Could be although I think that may be what it is Australian Yeah. But it is just probably is because I kinda like the British Isles. I mentioned last time. Australian movies are really fucking cool. The ones that are good. The ones that are good. The ones that are bad are very bad. Yeah. This was a relatively recent watch for me too. I think I just saw it last year for the first time. And I was like, Why have I never seen this movie before? Exactly. Well, I'm definitely adding it to my list. Definitely worth checking out is that it's a seven, seven release. Which sometimes after something's been honest, ever for a while it shows up on shutter. Okay, so it might be there and might be on YouTube. And my it's been a while. So who knows where it might be at this moment. Nice. Well, another new movie that I watched that I did like quite a bit was called Lord of Misrule. Have you heard or seen out about this? I don't know. It's pretty recent rental. Eric, I think you would like this a lot. It's a full quarter kind of thing. And Vanessa, I think you would like it because he's really thoughtful, and very creepy. I mean, I I will just say I really, really enjoyed it. It is about a woman whose daughter goes missing in this small town during this festival. And then she finds out that this is not the first time something like this has happened. And it turns out that you know, the festival hides some very dark things and then there's, you know, some little bit of cosmic horror in it. There's something much much bigger than than what you would think going on in this festival. It's got some really neat visuals that just every once in a while a shot would come on screen like this. This woman walking towards this old house in the sky beyond it it has like a full Eclipse going on and there are stars visible and everything is just like Wow, holy shit That is gorgeous. And then some some kind of horrific stuff at the end. You know, you don't like being caught on fire. You might not want to watch this. Oh my I'm fine with it. happened before. It is called Lord of Misrule. It is a rental but I imagine it's been a rental for a long time and it has dropped down to like 599 I imagine it's going to be hitting Amazon or shutter or something like that pretty soon. Cool. Yeah, looks good. Now that sounds incredible. Um, well, so as you guys know, I've quit aidid life she's alive. beakers lightning. This is what it feels like everyone's gonna look at her. I'm like, How the fuck did you happen? This is wild. You have my eyes, but they're not my color this anyway. So we're on a shift system, which means I am up from about three or four in the morning until eight ish in the morning. And so I'm just watching stuff. And I have finished six years worth of This Is Us. This is not something I typically want to talk about on the show. But I've committed such an amount of time for sure to this. I'm happy looking forward to being part of a family. I don't know, I need not really. It's a very soap opera II thing. And a lot of people love it. And it is really good for network TV. I think I'd mentioned it once before that I've started watching it. There's great actors in it. There's a lot of really clever, interesting decisions. It's about three people who are born on the same day. They're not quite triplets, because one of them's adopted, but they're they're treated as triplets. And sometimes they'll do a story arc where it's like from each of their perspectives like the same event. Or they'll take like themes and use it against them. Or there's there's cool little things happening within it. But it's still fucking network TV. And you can't get away from that. So every X number of minutes, you've got a commercial break. And so the pacing of it is just bizarre and then they always end on something that's almost Cliff hangry and it just sort of, I don't know, it takes it from something that could be really, really good and makes it kind of and also there's a lot of old people makeup on Mandy Moore that I cannot look at me anymore as a young beautiful person and same with Milo I cannot pronounce his last name. Amelia Ventimiglia, who I loved from Gilmore Girls. I've watched his career for a while now because I saw him in that and he's, I mean, they're all great but watching her be like an old person who's like sort of out of touch with the young folk. I'm like, Butch you're still Mandy Moore can see it well wait a second issue always in old makeup are they doing flash forwards or kinds of flashbacks flash words there's probably six different time periods you're going between and and you know in the last season it's basically like her her final year of being alive so she's really old. Wouldn't want to give that role to a natural aging actress that's the cool thing is like sometimes I mean bad thing like sometimes they do sometimes when they're little kids they then age them up to a completely different actor who looks shockingly like these people. This is some of the best casting I'm like I know exactly who this is just looking off of the next actor up but frequently which is so rare to do but yeah, for her I really wish I really wish they'd just cast them different. Go go for the crown on this guy's it's fine. Only recast we our imaginations will take us with you through this is us. Okay? Wait six years worth can't wait. You're gonna watch this. You're gonna watch one watch them all. You know. Potato chips. Delicious. Yes, that is 100% If you asked me you really any details of a particular episode? I can't tell you. God knows. Well, continuing on the non genre. I guess I'll just go with one of the eight to four films I hadn't watched it's been around for a while. Yeah, Spring Breakers. Oh my god Spring Breakers. Sure. All right. Both of you seen this? I have not I have. That's okay. It's interesting to look on the letterbox it is one of the more across the board rating things I've ever seen these things all the way to one all the way up to five and tons of stuff in between. Yeah, and I think that's kind of okay, there's about 45 minutes of a movie in this 94 minute film. The A lot of it could be fun. If it wasn't done so music video. Strange with got at least four scenes of James Franco yelling about what a badass he is and how he's got all these guns and money. And this is me. This is my I mean, we shut up already. Please. What is the premise of this film? There's a group of four college age women who want to go down for spring break. One of them is Oh shit, what's her name? With the Steve mark. She's in that Steve Martin show. That's Oh now. I want to hear not Miley Cyrus. Selena Gomez, yes, she plays the the good girl. She's going to church into another stuff and then her other three friends decide they don't have enough money to go. So they rob like a Denny's like place to get the money they need. And then they jump in a car and go down to spring break and have normal spring break stuff going on, you know, the drugs, the parties, the things along those lines, until they run into James Franco's character who bullshitting them, I guess is a good way to talk it. Selena wants nothing to do with it. So in a weird movie thing, she gets on a bus leaves and is never seen again, on a movie. Okay? And, and one of the other women ends up popping on a bus and disappearing and you never see her again. But the others go on a crime spree and these, there's James Franco. And then there's his big rival gang guy, and they're fighting for the territory. And so they go in a big shooting spree and all this stuff, just escalating violence. So the story is fine. Yeah, it's interesting, but the way it's shot is frenetic in a way that doesn't work. Because it's so repetitive. I don't mind a frenetic story. I don't mind crazy editing wild back and forth stuff. But they use the same shots of people partying on the beach, seven or eight times at least. And their minutes long. It's not just who they are. Again, it's here's the scene again. And then James yelling and bitching, standing on his bed for I pretty sure one of the scenes is probably five minutes long for him just standing on his bed bragging about who he is. Yeah. So oh, so there's a lot. I can see why this movie is heavily rated between fives and ones, because it's really well shot. It's really energetically fun to watch for a while. And all the performances are really good. Except when they go too long. Yeah, I don't know. It's just Yeah, I can see why it hit hard. And then has kind of faded away. I think it suffers from that. They were one of the first to do a certain kind of style and a certain kind of thing of this like dirty, youthful. Cool, but artistic. Yeah, filming that, obviously a 20 fours perfect place for it to end up. But I think because they were early added, they probably got some lot of critical praise at the time. Sure. And has, of course age to be difficult to sit through. Because we've seen much, much better versions of this thing sense. And I was really surprised the director, Harmony Korean is also director of gumbo, if you've ever seen that one now, truly one of the most uncomfortable film watching experiences I've ever had very hard to watch, but nothing like this movie. So there's fairly talented director behind this. It was frustrating watch, because this could be really, really good. It's definitely one of those films that suffers from a and then and then and then style because like just trying to even remember what the plot was aside from James Franco and some cute girls. I just Yeah, yeah. Cannot cannot remember for the life of me. I gotta say. Titles are so important because when I hear the title Spring Breakers, I think it's going to be like a funny movie or a party movie or something like that. And it has that aspect to it. I feel like I've heard his name, but maybe music gummies pretty big on the fucked up movie. viewing experiences that's why I ended up watching it because it pops up on lists with horrifying stuff and it's really really uncomfortable to watch. Yeah. If you like that action you'd like what was the the jewelry heist movie? Yeah, I was thinking of the jewelry has maybe I cannot remember with Oh, rare gems. Yeah, whatever. If you like that frenetic energy, like this, or that or if you like irritating, youthful people, then you'll like that one where they're murdering each other in a house or whatever. Yes, yeah, remember what it's called either. Like to see the Venn diagram of irritating useful people and heist movies is somewhere in the middle. All right, while we contemplate that why don't we take a break and then when we come back, we are still talking vampires. My cold chocolate is so chocolatey. It's scary. With chocolate the marshmallow goes well Oh it's okay my cereal peace so chocolate, you will scream. And now for a scary chocolate he tastes it'll make your head spin. I swirled by marshmallow goes with chocolate Count Chocula cereal, a frightening part of this good breakfast with a chocolate we are back, guys. When I first started thinking about this vampire thing I was like I want to do vampires for a month I wanted to do vampire weary of actually I wanted to do no vamper we got our fucking asses handed to us and had to do whatever the fuck we were doing back in November that we all hated except for Eric video to ask you to do nasty November. So then I thought we got to do vampy weary but then Vanessa, you threw a real wrench into this by deciding you wanted to bring life into this world. Steve here, I know. But that was just it. I was like, Okay, so let's make this a real general kind of thing that we can ask any guest host to do. But with that in mind, I thought we were going to be having other problems. And I didn't expect you to come back so quickly. So, which I really, really appreciate. Yeah, you're welcome. It sounds like you're thrilled to have me I am thrilled to have you. But had I known that it was going to be you will get a bounce back immediately. I would have said let's make this super easy for another fucking month. I would have said let's go back to something. Here we are on our 14th week of vampires. Yeah, you know, it's bad when even I'm starting to get sick of it. And I am i two weeks behind. Well, the thing is, I love vampires. I got a gigantic Dracula belly poster on one wall. I'm just vampire doubt. You know? Yeah, it's funny because I I asked Austin, my husband. Hey, do you want to like help me choose a vampire movie? And he's like, telling us this one out. Oh, really? If you watched one with me, and he was like, I'm good. No, he watched you know, I in fairness he watched do well, with all that in mind, Eric, I will kick us off of our third or last anyways. Here's his 10 minutes. Thank you. Thank you, sir. So I'm still in the 70s going through my Euro crypt of differently to with Dracula and son. What happens when Dracula has a son? What happens is one of the zaniest funniest, craziest films of the year. Christopher Lee is back in Dracula and sauce. It's all you ever wanted to know about vampires, but we're afraid to ask don't miss the boys from Transylvania Dracula and son, it will bite you. Rated ad positive RH negative antique 1976. Again, no critic reviews, but 50% on Rotten Tomatoes from the crowd so that's a nice move up. This is available to rent on Amazon. So it's pretty easy to get and if I guess if the Euro crypt is appreciate is still available, you can get that. So this is directed by Eduardo Molinero. His movies are male hunt, to commit a murder. Pain in the ass. And the pretty damn good film with Kasia falls wanting to and Dora on the left as you leave the elevator. That's so specific. That Italian Are you in Godard? It was first featured this is his first feature as a writer. But you might know him from enemy of the gates and the Name of the Rose. Or I'm shy but I'll he'll my favorite. John Marie Perry. She's in young, beautiful and screwed up. I think I live that movie. The visitors and Santa Claus is a stinker. Whoa, that sounds promising. And Edward was also a writer on it. He also has credits for the birdcage. I'm assuming this because you were Prakash our fall. Actor Christopher Lee, who you might know from Star Wars, Wicker Man, Lord of the Rings, Dracula police academy mission to Moscow. They think Sherlock Holmes, the decade of the 1970s and the 60s 60s. Bernard Munez for Day for Night, the big feast and don't cry with your mouth full Good advice. Marie hella burloak, who was Last Tango in Paris, The Picture of Dorian Gray and FANNY AND ALEXANDER. Quite the pedigree there. Wow. So this movie also opens with a horse drawn carriage hurtling through the woods, traveling so quickly that the film is magically sped up. Weird. It's very strange. Awesome. So they're trying to get out of the woods before nightfalls Gee, what could be that reason? But the carriage breaks a wheel. And while they're fixing it, a couple wanders off to let us know all about vampires. Like, Oh, thanks. Too late, the vampire character arrived. But a new one has come forth. And it's taking the young lady and her mother to dragons castle of work as Dracula and son. So he takes the woman seduces or has sex but doesn't bite her out, because she wants her to father a son for him. And as soon as she does, then he bites her and becomes the bride of Dracula. So the baby when this born gets a cute little coffin that it sleeps in Oh, this is advertised as pretty much a comedy but oddly enough, despite everything is just said this has done very seriously 15 minutes and have gone by it was a comedy. But there's a related story of a guy writing a book about fighting vampires. Where he could be. I have never seen a movie with a vampire where it crosses dispatch them so quickly. That's like touch. Well, that's convenient. And Dracula's new bride, though, gets trapped out in the sun at its stride. Five years later, the son is older and now is when it kind of tries to turn into a comedy. Funny things like for some reason Christopher Lee's puts his wife's ashes. He's looking at them. Five years later, somebody puts them down. The kid takes a skull out and plays bowling with them. And then he likes the lady lady of the house, maid or nanny helping him locks her out in the sun. So she bursts into flames. And he's like, Oh, my God, humor here. And then 116 years later, wow. Sure. So and dad's very upset because he's still bottle feeding. He has yet to kill somebody to drink their blood. Say tries to figures we're just going to go to the new world. And we need to get coffins. So they fly by two Frenchmen to kill them and use their confidence to travel. Not realizing these are naval officers. So they get buried at sea. Oh no. So they dropped the two coffins in the water. The son wakes up in France, the dad wakes up in London. So they're separated. And the dad is fairly lost until he's running down the street trying to chase a woman and two casting directors going He'd be perfect. So they hire him and to become Dracula and their new movie. Oh my god, that's so meta. And his son is not faring too much better involved in donating are trying to steal blood but gets caught and ends up donating blood instead. And his friends are all immigrants and dealing with the crap of being an immigrant in France. So he's involved in that fun stuff. Then they get reunited. Like See he sees his dad on television. The famous actor who plays Dracula is coming to their and apparently he was living as a vampire. His shtick was as an actor No I actually I'm a vampire. There you got more medic because he you know he is like they Oh my god. This sounds fucking awful. It's really not great. But wait, there's less. The agent wants Dracula to do a toothpaste commercial. No, he doesn't want to but his son does so that they get in the rift about that. So anyways, well his son do the commercial who will win the love of the women. They're both obsessed with tagline from this the man who brought you the cause all fall comes another very funny movie. Promise, we swears. Okay, now here's the here's pretty interesting part of it though. It's a short film runs like at night In minutes, the US release was 20 minutes shorter and completely re edited and completely read up as a farce with real heavy comedy and both versions on the desk so I'm like I think I'll check out this a little bit. And it's like, was it What's up Tiger Lily? Oh, okay, where are they? I mean they just replace everything it's funny for a little while but it just gets kind of exhausting right? Because you know the soccer brothers hadn't come along yet to show how to really do this well so it's an attempt at having every line be funny to where no lines become funny after a while right they do this bit where Christopher there's a and it's it turns into a still shot of Christopher standing in front of made looking for help. And the joke is he keeps asking for somebody different and they keep showing this exact same shot it starts it freezes He says his line it starts again. Oh my god. I gotta tell you it was better than old Dracula now. Simply because there was a there was a moment or two that was flat out laugh out loud funny. Unfortunate it's only off but the overall Christopher leap here is only probably and even then he may not like it. But yeah, it was not the worst I've seen but it definitely was not the best raver tired just listening to you talk about this very sounds fucking exhausting. I'm good buzzers going off now. And we'll start it up again. 10 minutes for Vanessa. All right. Well, I'm gonna take us into a very very different direction here with the 1987 movie near dark many girls like you? Day dark, pray for daylight which we have not done before? Maybe it seems like we should have to and I was like why is it normal anyways, so if we've done it before, I apologize, but I've never done it before. And I've never seen it until now. So Oh, well. Rotten Tomatoes score of 83% from critics and 74% from audience budget of 5 million box office of 3.4 million. Oh, yeah. Yep. Written and directed by Katherine Bigelow, who has 22 credits her name including Hurt Locker Zero Dark 30 Strange Days, which is awesome. Detroit and recently, some short films and an iPhone ad. I don't know why her career has taken that direction. But okay, here's your check. Oh, yes. Love it. CO written by Eric red who has 14 credits including body parts Bad Moon and the HITCHER? This is starring Adrian pastor and I apologize when I go through this by the way this review, if I pronounced anything horrifically wrong, it's because I spelled it wrong. Because I was doing multiple things at the same time and that did not equate to good spelling on my keyboard typing so Aly Adrian, Adrian pastor and currently has 95 credits including Carlitos way. Top Gun streets of gold big time 24 episodes of Agents of SHIELD as glean Talbot. Pretty sure that's wrong 60 Episodes of heroes as Nathan Petrelli and recently a lot of voice work, including 76 episodes of Avengers Assemble. Mostly is Iron Man. He's got a cool voice. He's got a cool voice. Ginny right 2020 credits to her name including St. allmost. Fire the chocolate or Twister young guns too. And the Lawnmower Man, Lance Henriksen, which we have talked about before in episode featuring a glance from Lance, is that what we call it 269 credits to this guy's name including aliens quick and the dead Hard Target, many many many others and Bill Paxton 99 credits to his name including aliens, Apollo 13, Twister, frailty, and six episodes of Agents of SHIELD. The story follows Caleb Colton, who's a young man in a small Texas town full of confidence and rocking a cowboy hat. He runs into an attractive young drifter named Mei. He sees her eaten an ice cream cone and he's like you're not from here. She's like, I am not from here. And he's like, I'm gonna hit on you. Sounds good. Let's jump in your car and drive around the small town for a while, which they do. They kind of go around the desert together exploring different parts of town. He's showing her all the cool things the haunts. And they look at the stars together. And there's there's definitely some chemistry. But the sun starts to maybe think about rising and she freaks out a little and insists that he drives her back to the trailer park where her family is hanging out. He finds this a great moment to flirt with her pull over, turn the car off and say, Well, if you kiss me, then I'll keep driving you there. And she's like, the sun is fucking gumming. She makes out with him gets really into it. I don't know if she's angry kissing him or she's like trying to convincingly kiss him but she gets a little carried away, gives him a nice little bite, the sun starts to rise. And she jumps out of the car and just books that across this field. And he's like, oh, right, that was interesting. His car won't start. So he starts to walk on foot back to his family's ranch, which is apparently not too far away. But midway there, as the sun is now bright in the sky, he starts to smoke feels intensely unwell, he is sweating like a mofo. This is not going well for him. And he's almost home when a blacked out RV pulls up. And people inside grab him and throw him in. Now I'm confused. Because the people who just grabbed him right before he was about to die, then insist on killing him. And I'm like, this seems like you could have just left in there, and it would have done its own work. It's May and her friends who are a gang of vampire buddies. And it turns out though, that as soon as she reveals that he's been turned by her, they're like, Okay, well, we won't kill him. But he only has so long to live, he's got to prove himself that he can be worthy of our gang. So they try to kind of put him through various trials, but he doesn't want to kill people. He very much doesn't want to kill people. In fact, he has to basically start eating off of May when she's killed people, because that's the only way that he's going to feed. They kind of give them a last run by taking over a bar and offering him another person and another person another person and then deciding they're too excited by it and then eating these people themselves. And then finally one runs off into the night and he is out to follow it and see if he can do it. If not, they're going to torture him and slowly kill him. Of course he doesn't. But he does prove himself to these guys in another way. Which is fine because he's ready to become part of their crew until his family who's been searching for him and following them on the road catches up with them. And the vampire gang wants to eat them. And he's like hell no. And suddenly it becomes him versus the gang. How is he going to fare against these crazy cool? Awesome don't give a fuck vampires. Um, some thoughts about this? I guess I built this up in my head. I had to get a subscription to criterion to watch this movie. It is not available anywhere else. Yeah, you cannot pay for it on Amazon. You can only get it through subscribing the criterion. There's a lot of people who have loved this film for a long time. Yeah, some fucking goofy music. The music in this is ridiculous. And it's makes it really hard to think of this as anything other than zany and other a lot of zany moments. It also ends on like an awkward freeze frame. This is not the serious artistic piece that I thought it would be however it does also have some really beautiful cool shots. It's got insanely interesting scenes like him sucking May's blood out of her wrist and in the background, there's the oil rigs going up and down like that is a cool visual. There's way too good of acting for an indie vampire film. It is hitting far above its spell class. And yeah, I think Bill Paxton and also Lance Henriksen. Just honestly everybody in this is doing work. Like really good work a little bit of trivia on this tagline. Pray for daylight, which is a pretty cool tagline. Future husband James Cameron, of course Bigelow used to told her she should use his ready made ensemble cast from his recent hit aliens from 1986. This land him Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton and Jeanette Goldstein all appear in Bigelow's film. In fact, the movie theater in the small town where this set has aliens on the marquee. According to Bill Paxton, the driver that gives him the finger when he's Hitchcock hitch hiking is played by none other than James Cameron, who had visited the set that day. The word vampire is never mentioned in this film. And Lance Henriksen actually went fully method for his role here coming up with a backstory and adding makeup touches like broken fingernails to his character. He also went into the town they were shooting in at night while in character and ended up scaring a waitress at Denny's. He also picked up a hitchhiker who was so freaked out by him that he asked to leave as soon as they got near uninhabited area. Lance then had to explain that he was just messing with him and gave the guy 80 bucks for being a good sport. So that was my film. I you know, it was? Yeah, I don't know. It's interesting. I think pieces of it are going to sit with me, but I don't know that I loved it. This is a film that I love. But it falls apart immediately on a rewatch the fact that the girl is not aware of how close the sun is when she decides to go on this drive with him at the beginning and alive or has been a vampire for quite a while. Yeah. So all of that stuff is kind of like, okay, I mean, it works for first time dealing because you're wondering what's going on? Right? Right once you find out that she's hundreds of years old and all that also the end. The end the way that they kind of decide to fix vampers Oh, it's goofy and it kind of Mars and otherwise really strong movie. Yeah. What as soon as he got a blood transfusion from his dad spoiler Sorry, guys. I'm like, was this from an animal from your dad? And then where did your dad's blood go? Like, did he have enough blood to fill your whole body or what happened here? And then he transfused his her and it's like you kind of ripped away the thing that made her her? Yeah, I don't know. You didn't even ask her. But I don't know. There was something weird about that. And then you end on a freeze frame of her looking kind of hesitant. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I love the movie. Yes. But pool hall, the bar. Yeah. The rate vampire going batshit. Crazy. sciennes Yeah, Phil, knowing that everybody in there is like, I'm gonna fucking die horribly. And Bill Paxton is so so good. Yeah. I'm not a big fan of kid vampires in general. And the one in this kind of bugs me I think he went on to be a pretty good actor. I think well, he went in, first of all, he's the son of father Karis, and the exorcist is the half brother of Jason Patrick from the last boy and he's the director of I believe it was called the final girls that's what he's done. It's just that that I'm a kid but I'm actually hundreds of years old like it's still a kid and yeah, you're acting is good enough to almost make it work but when you're with Lance and Bill and those just chewing up scenery, and if that's the case, why is he so obsessed with like the other little girl you're like, This is creepy creepy at that point. And then like, are you trying to ear Turner? Or if you turn her then is it because you want to make like a playmate? Like what the fuck is happening here? Yeah, I was not sure about that. But you did a good job for that kind of. It's still it. It all kind of works in its own weird way. Yeah, definitely has is a strange story telling elements that need some reworking ironically, it's not as good a story as the last boys but I like it way more than the last boys. They both have a very atmospheric like interesting. Tonal like you're on a ride. You're on a ride through a specific era with really strong characters. Yeah. Did you say that was also written by Katherine yeah co written okay. I would have expected a little stronger let me she would have been pretty young. What about in one of our first All right well I'm putting 10 minutes on but I won't need 10 minutes because I don't have a ton of stuff to say about coming out the gate strong I'm just gonna say that. Well, I'll just let you guys hear it. I chose from 2018 The lake vampire Domingo nowhere there man so let me know Sen Joseph enticing super mCherry explicado la sacrafice yours I cannot get in La Vie that deadline and Bryce you know can be sat here you could even have even finito tequila de la salud plus editor in Dallas scene leaving this with a PSA Keisha is her walk your dog q&a Last Saturday yeah no good I went do nearly rapido check it out what's going on that a key shopper they say Oh, I found this movie on Tubi budget. I could find no information box office I could find no information on Rotten Tomatoes critics. None enough reviews to have a percentage. Nothing from the audience. Oh my radio directed by Carl's Edelman, who has six credits, all of them short films except for this. Also written by Frank Bayes. Quevedo who did mission h2o, the house at the end of time, couple others and then based on a novel by Norberto Jose Oliver, starring Socrates Serrano, was 23 credits including the native two moons, the dance and hotel Providencia, and Miguel and how lander 61 credits including the 86 and the Whisler pandemonium. film starts with a radio broadcasts about the discovery of a girl's severed head and the belief that the murder is part of a satanic ritual. We meet retired police inspector Jeremias Morales who turns he turns off the radio and instead he plays an old cassette tape that is clearly a police confessional tape. And then we are introduced to writer Ernesto Navarro, who had a best selling book several years ago and has been looking for a new subject to write about. When we meet him, his ex wife is throwing all of his stuff out the window and their apartment, and he shouted at her for the sidewalk. He tells her he needs his books and she throws them out. So the next thing is he's at a book signing and an empty bookstore. And the books he needed were the books to sign. And nobody has come to buy anything, which is why you will never see me sitting at a signing at a bookstore. Just before he's about to leave. He's approached by a man who has an old copy of his old book and he very quickly autographs the insides. Leave of the book and leaves. Now I don't like that. That's where he autographs it. It makes no sense to me. That's just not where you autograph a book. But it comes back. So the next day, he's awakened by police at his door, who drag him to a pretty brutal murder scene where the guy was beheaded. And the only real clue is that the man is holding a scrap of paper. And of course, it turns out to be a chunk of the book sleeve with his autograph on it. Although he doesn't seem to understand that for some reason, he says, I've signed a lot of books over the years, so it could be anyone. I'm like, this is clearly the book that you just signed. So I don't know why he's not. Anyway. And he he is suddenly super interested in this case, though. The police don't want to deal with them. But he's like, you know, I have found my new subject. This is what I'm going to be writing about. So he's able to bribe his way into the morgue, where he finds out the victim had been drained of blood before he was beheaded, ya know. Also, he finds the retired detective Morales who's now interested in the case because it seems to mirror the case he was working on in the 70s. Morales doesn't really want to talk to him, but eventually ends up telling him the story of how he caught the lake vampire, a guy named Zacharias Ortega, whose crimes are the same as this new killer who the press is calling the southern devil who. So from here, the film starts flipping back and forth from the present to the past with a much younger Morales, capturing Ortega, who doesn't seem like a vampire as much as just this crazy wild man who, who like catches people and then starts biting them. You know, he doesn't have the fangs or anything, he's just a blood drinker. Ortega apparently committed suicide after five years in prison. But then more more crimes start up again. And they're blamed on a copycat murderer. Although a priest with a large black dog is blamed for them, but Ortega are not Ortega. mirallas is like, I'm not sure that we caught the right guy. And in fact, they think we might have killed the wrong guy. So he's got all of this, this doubt and history of possibly being not the best cop, all this stuff and a ton of guilt about what happened. But then his investigation, so all of this stuff is being told you know in story to Navarro. His investigation also led him to start finding murderers before the original like Vampire that seemed like they should have been committed by the same person. And Ortega keeps being described as being inhumanly strong and thoroughly evil. In one of the confessional tapes, he claims to have discovered the power of blood by draining himself and drinking his own blood as he was doing. Also, do not try this at home, that will not work. This is a very quick way to kill yourself. That part of your body does not connect to the other part of your body blood and putting it in your stomach does not put it back into your veins. Correct. He also claims to have made a deal with the devil. This deal includes him committing suicide, but as the vampire is not buried in three days, then he might come back to life. And so while this is all going on Navarro is investigating other stuff on the site and he starts finding the satanic murder rituals on in videos that he finds on the dark web. So now there's there's this kind of vampire type thing going on and the satanic murder videos and are they somehow related? Is this guy the lead of this? And the reason I don't want to talk too much about this is because this fucking movie is awesome, you guys. It is a really solid mystery. The biggest part being that throughout you're not sure that this killer should be the same one either. You're watching this going? Like this doesn't quite sound like it's a vampire who keeps coming back it sounds like different people doing the same kind of thing over and over. So you don't even know if there's really a supernatural aspect to this until towards the end. I will talk about this instead. The film of pens with the uncorked productions title card, which we all know is the same navy ship movie, right? But this movie is really great. It looks great. The acting is really strong the writing is fantastic. The flashbacks all feel very true to the time period they're taking place. And you know, so there's the money here. Also remember that movie I talked about with the artist who was fucking the hole in the wall and it was feeding him so that was also an uncarved movie and I really enjoyed that one too. So they're they're snatching up some good stuff lately. This movie is free, free on freebies. So there's literally no trivia on this movie. That's too recent and unknown and it only has a little handful of reviews, which I'm going to read a few if it had like, four reviews. Here they are. Yeah 10 out of 10 from Joe Black 23 83161 of the best horror movies ever made. He says I'm not sure why the rating is so low it is an excellent vampire movie loved it. The next review nine out of 10 from will Team 11. An excellent police procedural slash investigation thriller that is very dark feel. This Venezuelan Spanish language film builds great atmosphere as the nonlinear story unfolds. I was lucky enough to catch it this weekend. So home a horror festival, I really don't understand how this clever film has not been picked up for worldwide distribution. I had to buy the physical disk today so I could rewatch it. The next review seven out of 10 I guess I have the honor to write the first review for this Venezuelan movie, The acting was top notch, nothing bad to write about anybody from the cast. And then the lowest review six out of 10 movie is really well made in terms of technical aspects. It is really well shot lighting is great sound is great. It also has a very unsettling atmosphere all throughout. It was kind of disturbing, actually. Although there's not much going on at the times there. There are a really disgusting. Why six out of 10 this is one of those kinds of reviewers. There's no such thing as a 10 out of 10. So the lake vampire I was just blown away. There's just one of those ones that popped up when I was looking for vampire films. And I saw was available on TV and I was like well, I'll give this a try. Because there were a number that I started watching and I was like no, not watching frost or frostbite or whatever that was. I thought I could get into it. I could not this one I got into just right off the bat because it looked so good. I was like oh, I just this is a very accomplished indie film. Bam. So yeah, what year was this? 2008 he Okay, and then nothing from this guy. Since you know, no reviews, all of this stuff. I'm like, This poor guy just fucking busted his ass on an amazing movie that no one has seen. You know, you know, I COVID. Well, that at first, but I think more. I think more it's because I don't know what happened when they were trying to sell this. But how did uncorked get this instead of, you know better? Yes, somebody that would have jumped on a film like this and really kind of given it a better thing. Because for me, often if the uncork logo comes up, I'll go oops, I chose wrong and I move on. Yeah, yeah. Now you can wait and see a little bit longer. Well, you definitely threw me because I thought you were gonna say that you hated it from the way you introduced this, but no, I was just awesome. When I was done with it. I was like, let's dig into this. It was like no information about the movie I just watched. So okay, if we are continuing with February, but Eric, I'm gonna mess it up. Oh, thank god. Yeah. You know what? Vampires aren't the only things with fangs. What? Snakes? Whoa, dogs, cats. Oh, certain people. I guess you can still do vampire if you want to. But anything with fangs? Oh, whenever it comes about. God bless you. Thank you. Thank you for the loophole. It's delivered. Well, that's that should be interesting. Oh, God, I already feel better. I just I'm just thinking I'm visualizing animals now. And I'm like, Yeah, I could do like a dog or a wolf or I guess the snake. Better. I'm gonna do Harry Potter. Oh my god. I can't wait to hear about Harry Potter. And that curse of the sneaky snakes thing? The snake friend. Okay, perfect. So that's what we're gonna be doing next week. Now is the time where we say thank you to everyone who's liking and sharing posts reaches out to us all the time. Thanks. Big thanks to Craig who constantly text you and I Eric whenever, whenever we say something about a movie he likes. It's always an interesting film. Yes. I'm going to send out an apology to to I forgot to write the information down but we were challenged to watch the first movie of what was your favorite movie? Couple years ago? The alright. The history of the occult. In this first movie I couldn't I couldn't have been able to none of us have been able to find it. Right? So if you do if that's if if we're picking the right movie good or if it's the guy who did tariff fire or terrified, right? I don't think that it is that guy. So reach out again. Let me know. Send me a message again and we'll see if we can you know how to see it or anything. Now that yours now that you're reminding me This is ringing a bell I think we were asked to watch the first movie as the guy who did terrible because he also did when evil. That's when it was so Yeah, that must be Yeah. And I wasn't able to find that anywhere. Yeah. So if it's out there, let us know. Because we want to Yeah, after those other everything I want to see everything this guy does. So yeah, and big thanks to the people who are sharing the the posts when the the episode drops, you know, we see Ron and Bob, Danny, everybody sharing these things and that's really nice. And also thanks anyone who's participating the value for value system, which is if you get some value out of this turn around and get some value back. We cannot tell you how much to make that that's something you have to decide. Maybe you got $1 out of it. We'll take it. Yep, shiny, shiny dollar. There's also on our on our site, there's the ability to buy us pizza. There's also a subscription plan where you can sign up and just monthly. Send us money because you love us. We really love that. And I do want to clarify something for our listeners. When we say buy us a pizza that is a way of donating towards us that is not just giving us pizzas. My mom was very confused and wondered how many pizzas we were eating I could see that all this money was going towards all these pizzas. I could go for a pizza right now. But technically the site is buy me a coffee which might make a little more sense but you know, buy me a pizza for some reason. We know one day I cannot wait to start cosplaying as she's pizza again and get my daughter into a little pizza little slice. Oh, I like that. Make her a little olive or something. It's on you. Oh yeah, I love pepperoni pizza. Oh, perfect. God it's so cute in here. All right. Get the fuck out of my house. I got shit to do yes to and we will see everybody in seven short days where we are still celebrating February but not talking about vampires. Transportation other considerations for strange aeons radio produced by Pan Am airlines. When you think of traveling think of pan and you can't think experience. Yes, the strange aeons radio stay at econo lodge ever. It's an easy stop on the road. You know, strange aeons radio is recorded live in front of a studio audience. If you enjoyed this episode, please consider leaving us a positive review on your favorite podcast. Set we will set things that are a little more old school like books