YUCK, SPIDERS!

YUCK, SPIDERS!
A quick Mother's Day recap leads the gang into their picks for spider movies!
ALSO DISCUSSED: Infested, The Fall Guy, Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, The First Omen.

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Oh, I'm sorry did I break your concentration somewhere between science and superstition such sites to show you strange aeons. Welcome to strange aeons radio. That's Eric somewhere in this general vicinity. Hello. And then somewhere else is Vanessa either above me or below me. Hello. I'm Kelly. Hey, gang, we're we're recording via zoom because our recording day fell on Mother's Day. And Vanessa, I got to know how was your first Mother's Day? Yeah, I Yeah, it was pretty, pretty solid. I got to go for a walk with my tiny human. She She had no idea. But I was excited about it. And we went to Red Lobster because it's my mom's choice for restaurants. And then I watched a film with my my good friend who came to visit so it was a very cool, chill day. That sounds lovely. And I liked that one person seems completely left out. Oh, my husband. He was there for all of it. Fucking Mother's Day. Jesus. He already did His work. Right. Made her mother. He know he was kind enough to get me four boxes of my favorite group gluten free waffles. So that's very thoughtful, very thoughtful. Waffles. I go through a lot of awesome. Cool. Nice. So it's weird though, because I've only been a mother for four months. So I feel like I'm cheating somehow. Like, it's, I don't feel like I qualify. I need to at least a year to get to have a Mother's Day. I don't think that's true. Actually. Once you've shot a kid out of your vagina, you are a mother. I guess. I mean, is the cliche. That's what they say. Anyway, yeah. My sister and I took our mom and dad out for brunch. It was a lovely time. Mom talked about the show a lot. Hi, mom. Great to see you. She said that she she said, you know, does Vanessa have a baby? I said Yes, she does. And she said I sure like her. I assume she was talking about you. And now your daughter. I mean, either way, she said that she likes are playful back and forth. She also then asked my sister if she watches the show. And she said, do you know all he does is talk about drinking the entire time. She does listen. She goes to get to talk about drinking this episode. And I said I plead the fifth. And by fifth I mean 750 milliliters. There it is. Do you have a giant round ice cube in there? Yeah, I do. You're still class here. Here's the other thing mom brought up. She She watched the episode with the peanut butter. And she she couldn't she couldn't remember actually giving me the peanut butter. So that's how that's how important it was to her. But then she presented me with it and told ya jar. You never see it because it always sells out. choosy moms choose Jeff and thank you mom. I will be eating all of this. I'll probably be just sitting in my recliner. no shirt on with a spoon. Just be like I love peanut butter. We all I don't understand this creamy though. Like I'm a crunchy person through and through. So the creamy thing really wakes me up. Yeah, well, you've got nice young teeth. Yeah, I was crunchy until you know about 15 I decided Wow. Adult tastes have kicked in. Let's go creamy. I think me is probably more of a child this taste I like I like I like the challenge. Yeah, peanut butter sandwich and jelly sandwich with a little crunch to it. You know speaking of childish this morning, you guys. I I had for breakfast because I'm an adult and I could choose what I want for breakfast. I should go for breakfast. Now you might be saying what is ice cream? The kind of breakfast that an adult should have? And the answer is probably not, but is ice cream full of nutrients and vitamins that you need for a well balanced diet? Turns out also no. But by that time, I was also already reading the calories and dropping the little bond bonds in my mouth gone. This was a bad choice. Adults. Yeah, like my mouth, Sam will occasionally say like, Well, I wasn't sure about eating, but I kind of crave cookies and I kind of crave crave candy and I kind of craved ice cream and I'm like, go for the ice cream. At least there's some frickin milk in there. cheeses. The rest is just pure sugar. There's like nothing good for you. Ice Cream almost almost has something that your body can do something with. You gotta count those good feelings in though too. Yeah. There you go. But What flavor did you have? Eric, you're going to be very disappointed to know that what I bought was a was a little tiny 10 or not a tin cup of like, crunch flavored bonbons. Oh, even more elegant than regular ice cream. Well, you know, I grabbed this at the Shell station I filled gas up at and the guy at the counter says, Hey, so is good time for ice cream. Right? I felt immediately judged. And still like you know what, fuck you. I'm an adult. I do what I want. Whatever happened to that really fancy ice cream that you would like serve guests that came in like a box that was called as I think V Aneta. And you'd like you could see the ads where they'd have like a candle in the background lit with somebody cutting with a giant like chef's knife through curly cake in the pocket and mixed with fancy here. Yeah. Business a hell of a time. Kids today, they don't know what they're missing. Guys, this talk, obviously, I'm having a tough time with the diet. I saw a couple of movies. And the first one I'm going to talk about is kingdom of the Planet of the Apes maze. Now, I'm also going to fold into this I watched the new trilogy in preparation for this. And you know, everybody talks about Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and everything do not sleep on this last trilogy of Planet of the Apes. Rise of the Planet of the Apes Dawn of the Planet of the Apes war for the Planet of the Apes. Really a great set of flicks kingdom on the Planet of the Apes, different those three movies, you know, the first one set in present day and then the next one like 10 years after basically the apocalypse and then the next 115 or 20 years. Those films very dark. And you know, it was ape against human and all that stuff. This is 300 years after the end of the last movie. Oh, wow. So it is now there are humans in here. But it is mostly an ape versus ape story. And it was not as dark. It was more like an adventure film. I really liked it. But it was not like the other ones. But it's obviously setting up for like a new trilogy or something like that. And I liked I liked the characters and you know the characters, the apes. And it was it was really cool. And it is interesting. Having just watched those last ones, especially that first one with what's his name the actor that everybody hates now? Well, anyway, the James Franco. Yes, James Franco. Thank you. He was really good in that, by the way. The CGI apes in that look pretty rough. And I remember when that movie first came out going, Wow, this looks amazing. Yeah. And they get better over the next couple of movies. And then this one is so much better that it's kind of crazy. And I wonder if in 10 years, we'll be looking at this one and going oh, that looks so fake. But the the uncanny valley, you know, with these apes giving human expressions as because they all talk now and they all roll their eyes and they do whatever, you know, they look like teens. And holy cow. This is crazy. It was really amazing. And I imagine most of what I was watching was basically Cartoon, but I loved it. I was able to see that last night and I agree it's, it was really good. I actually, I I'm so glad to hear your take on it because I have not watched the previous three since they were in theater. So I am really far like it's just so far out of my head that I was like, I couldn't remember if the vibe was at all similar. But you are correct. It is setting up for a new trilogy, which it sounds like it's greenlit for or at least they're writing it. So yeah, I would say all three of those movies are now available on like Hulu and HBO max. So I don't think they're all on one. But if you've got those you can watch all three, which is what I did. And really good movies. I was really surprised at how well they held up. Nice. Definitely need to go back and watch that. Well, I saw a film I watched on Mother's Day was a real Mother's Day treat, Arcadian. It's just about me kids is the father during the end of the world. Oh, all right. Sure. Yeah, it's a little indie. I mean, like a lot of the Nick Cage movies that are out right now is kind of an independent film with big ideas. And it has the kid from last space in it. And it has. I've got the kid from Mr. Harrington spoke on it. And they're really good, really, really good. I don't want to, there isn't much to say about the plot. It's something has happened the world as we know it is over and there's these monsters running around. And as the film progresses, you get to see it more and more. And this creature design is like, fucking insane. I don't know if I've ever seen. I mean, it's up there with creature designs. Like it is incredible. I cannot tell you what the hell these things are. But they are freaky as fuck, and we would not survive against them. So it makes a lot of sense. But you're like, are they wolves? Are they bugs? Are they like you can't even wrap your head around what these things are. So it's a lot of fun. But I'm definitely lacked in the typical low budget ways like the there it would skip through time. You'd be like, Oh my god, they gotta get through the woods to get to somebody's house. Oh, I guess they're there. They're there. They just walked in the front door great. Like there's there's a lot of like, why didn't you guys have that in between section? Why is the logic here like really missing in these different places? So there's a pacing issue, and there's kind of a storyline logic issue. But still, the creatures are kind of worth it. Wow, is it a good movie? Look at Yeah, I guess I mean, it's a solid three star movie. It's okay. It's totally fine. i The creatures I'm checking. It wasn't mad. I saw it. But I wouldn't like go back and watch it again. Was this a rental? It was Yeah, but it wasn't too expensive. I think it was like four bucks. Okay, I think on Amazon, but it's yeah, it's should it I'm guessing it's gonna come to shutter pretty soon. Because it had the shutter logo at the start. So I don't think it's there yet. But if you wait, maybe another month, you'll be able to see it for free on there. Nice. So, Mother's Day. Can Have you heard of the coffee table? No, no, I'm just gonna say if you're a mom, it's all watch it. I'm just telling you now. Don't watch it. It is brutal. It's actually only brutal for a short period. But when it's brutal, it's like, oh my god. And then the rest of the movie is trying to hide what has happened from everybody else in the movie. And I'll stop the talk about it because if you do, yeah, knock out the whole surprise value to the whole thing. The basic storyline is a guy and his wife go and buy a coffee table. They got off a lovely one that for some reason the husband thinks is great. And the wife is correct and saying this is awful. It's two bronze or gold ish. I think it's they say is fake gold covered women holding up a glass table? That's like, Dude, that's not a good deal. But the consequences of getting that table are really, really rough. And it's, it's not a first act second act third act kind of film. It's a this has happened and let's ramp up and that's how the whole movie runs is just consequences from actions. So really well acted really powerful. I think it's Spanish and rented from prime. If you want an uncomfortable evening of frustrating tension, it is really well done. If you're a new mom, don't watch it. I just gotta put that out there right now. I appreciate you. I appreciate so much my hormones are out of fucking control. They had two babies at the beginning of our Katie and because he's like, I'm the dad and I have to survive and I got these little babies. I was like so tiny, no. Yeah, no one hurt these crates, or? Yeah, no, it's, you're doing the Lord's work. Thank you. How did this get on your radar? Eric? Oh, crap. I blanked on her name. The excellent professor teaching of horror that we both like skin McKendree. Yeah. She mentioned it on her Facebook post or Instagram or something about? Well, that was one of the more intense things I've watched in a long time I that on the list goes right in the rental was like, two bucks or something. So yeah, I was like, Okay, sure. So, but yeah. Would you consider it horror? Horrifying? Okay. The the the current trend of family based horror films, it fits into that realm quite well. So I'm sure it will show up on shatter because they seem to love those. But, yeah, it's it is well done. It's definitely well done. A trauma based horror. Okay, so then the second film, I gotta say, I had a great week of film watching and I wasn't sure which one I was going to talk about. But I know you've seen this Eric. And I think you might have seen this Vanessa. It is new on shutter and it is called infested. You ever heard? It is phenomenal. Really is scary. It is a scary movie. It is a spider movie, which is our topic for this week. It is French it is about a guy who has a passion for bugs and animals. He he and his buddy have this dream of like, it seems like they want to build like a roadside exotic animal attraction. Yeah. And so he goes and he buys these bugs and stuff from this looks like a black market bug dealer. I mean, the first scene is these guys who have who are hunting for these spiders and they find it and it is a horrifying scene. And and then this kid takes it home and you're just waiting for it all to go wrong because he's putting it from the little sealed plastic it's in into a shoe box and you're just like, Oh, it's getting out of that. And and of course it does but what you're not prepared for is that it it repopulates very quickly by itself. Yeah, and and it's babies take over this apartment complex which is really very cool looking apartment complex on the outside and completely rundown on the inside. I don't know how that works, but and then it becomes a story of these five or six people, tenants who are trying to get out of the building but of course the police are aware of what's going on so they've locked the building down. And it was just incredibly because I literally sat there watching the movie the entire time but oh, oh it has a similar tone style to wreck in that regards. But the I'm watching this film go on. I don't think I'm correct in a phobic but you know, I might be by the end of this fricking movie. Just every it's lit. Its lit great, but it's not poorly, if that makes sense so that it's mostly in the dark and then every time you See somebody up close? You're looking behind them waiting for that spider to come down the wall or something little space right there. Yeah, and, and of course the spiders are getting bigger and bigger until they're, you know the size of cats. And it was just scary. Think of all the spiders and all the scares of the movie arachnophobia. But none of the humor played completely straight and super, super tense. It's on shatter. It's called infested. This will be in my top five of the year. I'm sure. You'll be surprised. Yeah, it is. incredibly well done. That's yeah, that scene where the woman's in the it's not a shower scene per se, but she's in a shower, trying to figure out what to do. Oh, yeah, yes. There's a lot of spiders in this. Yes. You know, now that spider season and waking up and coming in my home. I might put this on the backburner. Yeah, I don't blame you. I would say if you if you don't like spiders, this is not a good movie for you. I don't like spiders. You enjoyed it. Um, so I don't think anyone's talked about this yet. But I know Kelly, you were interested in seeing this movie. The first omen? Yeah, I want to see that. I still have it. Yeah, um, I had, I don't know, I had really low expectations. And this thing is actually pretty good. Like, they try very hard, very hard. And I was like, Oh, damn, this is not just like a Blumhouse joint. This is like, you're like in Italy. You've got like crashed zoom shots. The music is epic and beautiful. Very reminiscent of the original Omen score. There's a lot of like, just strange interior horror happening. I you know, there's a lot of metaphor going on. I was really surprised. I was like, Oh, this is this is like actually a good film. So I'm not perfect, but I I would say for like, men and an exploitation movie. It's definitely up there. That's what I've been hearing now. Did you see immaculate yet? I did not because of your review. It's gonna be so depressing that I keep putting it off. But it's, it's on my list. I just I'm just curious because I know that it's a similar storyline and I'm so weird to have these two movies come out at the same time. No, I know. Exactly. It's like the beginnings of a or the Antichrist or whatever. Like there. Yeah, yeah, there were definitely a few weird moments in this film where I was like, please stop trying to like tie yourself back into the Omen like don't worry about that like, oh, we will assume this shit. You do not need to do that. That's his weakest points. But the actual like aesthetics of it are very good and I'm I will see immaculate I will I swear. Was this then a period piece that takes place like in the early 70s or something to tie in? Yeah, because it is meant to be the the kind of lead up to Damien, and the lead up to the Omen film prequel. It is in fact a prequel to the film. The only thing is period. The only thing I don't like about this is the title. Now when it's called the first Omen, but there are already three omens when you're talking about the Omen movies you go well the first moment is my favorite and then don't want to but wait a second No, there's now a movie called The first home and now here I mean, they need me just like let me just put on my strange aeons radio marketing hat and I go to the billboard or the blackboard that everybody's you know pitching this thing and I write the omen and then I make that oh a big zero right? Omit zero cheesy, but so is the first element the first really cheesy is as easy as Title I really wish they call it something else like, like, oh, man, bathed in blood or Omen, like the zero men in the womb or I don't What the fuck? Why couldn't it just been all men beginnings or origins or something like that? It didn't have to be the first omen. Yeah, I already used that phrase. It was definitely part of the reason why I was like this is going to be a piece of shit film. But I again so surprised it wasn't okay like it was actually a decent film but did you feel like they were setting it up for its own sequel or is it just gonna go right to the home and it was a one off as opposed to go straight into the omen if they're setting it up for another. I haven't seen anything past Omen one. So there are things that happen in this movie that I'm like, This feels like it's calling out to like Omen like for Omen like six or whatever the hell they did. I'm like this this leak. I bet this bleeds into some really cheesy fucking home and film that they were like, well we're Did you ever wonder about the this character will you know like it did feel like that because I can't imagine they're gonna do a sequel on this thing. Only three almond films and then a fourth one was made for TV, which was not very good. But Omen two is excellent. omens three is not as good but still good. So you should watch mom. Solid trilogy. Yeah, I will. I will investigate. I watched the first one. And it was when I was early dipping into horror. And it did that thing where I was like, this shouldn't exist. Catholic school I was like, this film is like, not okay. There's like, especially with all the BTS stuff like rounded a vault. I was like, oh my god, like, I don't I shouldn't. I watched it. And it's a great film. But I was like, There's something it feels like there's something wrong. So it really got to me, so I never really returned to the Omen verse until now. Well now, Korean singing group behind the scenes, Eric. Oh, okay. Documentary. Edd acronyms anymore. The three words out scenes, talks about how everybody else died and the airplane accident the guy who's headed and all that shit. I was like, Man, that's not okay. Universe is like telling you something. Well, now that you've grown out of all of that, and you're a new mother, you should really watch the woman again. She's, hey, that kid is way older than my child and a male. So I'm fine. Right? Okay. Anyways, crawling out of the craziness of my first film. I went and watched the box office, summer movie style of Fall Guy. totally fun. That's exactly what I was hoping it was going to be. Really nothing more, but definitely nothing less. I actually saw no trailers for it. So I'm going, like kind of assume this is based on the original TV show. And the moment he drives out in his truck and gone up Yeah, definitely. I saw that track. Yeah. There was a TV show. The original stars of the TV show do make a cameo appearance in the movie. Lee Majors. Yeah. And what's your name? The blonde. Oh, ouch. I wouldn't have said that. I would have said I forgotten the name of the other thespian. But, Heather, Heather. Clear. Okay. Is that okay? But I don't know. It was a heather. Oh, ah, better or worse than La La Land. As a film, La La Land is a better movie. Okay, that's an enjoyable experience to watch. I had more fun with fuck. Overall. It is. It is definitely cranking the hard to get a stuntman Oscar. Oh, wow. category. And holy shit. There are some awesome stunts in this movie. It even pulls the nice 70s early 80s thing of showing the raw stunts at the end in the end credits. A lot of them and they're spectacular. The end You know, my new Like, Favorite actor. Brian is just amazing. And the leads their chemistry is really good. They are good on screen. It's just a great dumb action movie with really good stunts and a lot of fun to watch. Very cool. I do want to see this. This looks good to me. I did see the trailer and there was a lot of anyway you want it from journey in it and really I kinda I kinda love that song. So they played the theme song. But of course they off they altered the lyrics a little bit because, you know, we're the I'm the guy that made Clint Eastwood such a star is altered to something else. And it's like that. So I went to, to like to download the original because I want to hear the original lyrics now because that was just like, I kept wanting to hear Burt Reynolds would said they'd never do, but yeah, it doesn't fit. You're such a nerd. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yes, I did. Original Series. Wow. I got to check it out as well. And I agree with you 100%. I felt like almost a love letter to stunt work. It's just so fun and cool the way they were doing those stunts. It's just like stunt after stunt after stunt as well as commentary about like, God, it sucks to be a stunt man, man, stop, man. Sure. I recognized for the word. Man, my life is just endless daunting. And I don't get paid well, but here we are. I'm sure it's a lot of fun. Yeah, even little shots, there's a scene where they're in a fight and his supervisor or whatever, I forget that the lead stunt guy is in the fight with him as the shot where he clotheslines this guy, where he goes from seeming like kind of a large guy to a freaking Hulk. And just this one shot where he takes the guy that looked really cool. Even the little stunts are like damn, so So Eric, remind me because I wasn't a huge fan of the series. Wasn't he a bounty hunter in the TV show? Yeah, they they don't play it directly. He is accidentally becomes an investigator by some actions are one of the producers on the show. So he does what The Fall Guy Show is, but it's definitely not set up like the original fall guy. Well, that trailer sure made it look fun. So I will definitely check that out. It is and it's a good big screen movie too. Because the stunts are large. Some of them are really epic. Okay. And you do you think that the stunts is so I'm pretty sure the montage at the very beginning with all the like, well known stunts. I think they were recreating those stunts. Actually. I don't think they were the original footage, which is like a whole nother level of like, fucking insane. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I think you're right. It didn't. Some of them looked very similar, but not Yeah, they look too slick. As far as film style and stuff like that to be some of the original although it did make one me What is this the Burt Reynolds movie where he plays? Is it just the stuntman or the? Yeah, it is the stunt man. Yeah, yeah. I need to go watch that again today after seeing this film. Directed by Hal Needham, who was a stunt man. There you go. Good movie. Yeah. Okay, how about we take a little break. And then when we come back we're going to be talking about spider movies. Spider Man with splashes collection, Black Sea venom is out to destroy sea divers fighting you use the whip Fletcher pumped to make fighty dive or surface puff up see hunters buddies wrap for a wild ride. It's deep sea Dr. Octopus. He dives off his raft of shark traps fighting but sweaty I'm Lisa the evil symbient shark on Spider Man web splash with collection each sold separately. We have returned. This was my sub genre pick and I chose this because I am celebrating my new novel The secret language of spiders. I just never thought about how which is available for pre order right now. On Amazon all forms not not in the physical copy for that. One point it will be so get the ebook now. Read it and then get the hard copy later. So Kelly, consignment sometimes. What's your website again? Where can we sign up to find out when your book comes out? Written by Carl jung.com. Thank you. Cool. I'll go there right now. Let me bring up my browser. Well don't don't do it right now. Bye. You know what's nice about this is that I sent this out to some of my writer friends and the ones who are stupid enough to tell me how much they liked it. I was like, can I? Can I get that in quotes? And you guys, we all know Seth Sherwood, and the blurb he gave me is insane. It's so it's so great. Excellent. So, yeah, really, really blessed with that. Anyway, with that in mind, I said let's talk about movies with spiders in it. And I'm gonna say I think that I want already. I did not pick infested but I've given myself 10 minutes and I am going to be talking about a movie called Big Ass spider good Hodge care. You been hardwired? We're gonna need a miracle. Spiders happen to be my specialty. I become a spider to catch a spider. But isn't this like the biggest spider ever? Took a be super exterminated. So I'm going to help you and you're not like how like Robin helps a bad man. Okay, so what is the biggest spider ever? 20 inches long? And black sounds fun. Oh, God, this is so gross. Oh yeah. Look at it. No, describe it. I'm not gonna look this is without question the biggest spider on record. Anything else? Anything else? I'm not scared. This thing's huge. highly poisonous. Aggressive, fast, smart. Strong. This is a big spider stone has no idea what's coming. God help us all. On consoles I've seen this one. Vanessa has not from 2013 could find no budget or box office on it. Listen to this though. Rotten Tomatoes. Critics give it 78% The audience gives it 45% I'm like what the hell yeah, the horror fans did not like it. It was directed by Mike Mendez who has 11 directing credits, including the grave dancers, which I think is a great movie that was one of those eight films today for the beginning the convent, and he put together a satanic Hispanics. The Anthology movie that just came out and he was one of the main driving forces of getting all those people together. And he wrote and directed the framing sequence. It was written by Gregory Garis, who has a credits including dark asylum, the Beyond and day of reckoning. Sauron, Greg, Gutenberg 132 credits, including 62 episodes of heroes, the fable omens and big parts in every single JJ Abrams movie and TV show. He is like JJ is best friend or something. And so he puts him even in like the Force Awakens. You'll see him as an X Wing pilot. He just nice in every single one. It also stars Lombardo Boyer, who has 132 credits also, including Candyman Day of the Dead Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and Candy Cane Lane. And it also stars Ray Weiss 250 credits, including swampthing he was the original Alec Holland in the West Craven Swamp Thing. You guys remember that one? Wow. He was in Robocop. He was in dead end that great Christmas movie, and 18 episodes of Twin Peaks as Leland Palmer. Also starring Lin che Alexis Kendra, Claire Kramer and Ruben Pilla. So, first, the title credit rolls up on the screen. This is how you know it's already going to be a joke. And it says in big bold letters, biggest spider with an exclamation point Like it's not a big ass spider you guys it's biggest spider. I thought it was cute. And then it goes into a scene where we see like this King Kong sized spider on the side of a building fighting off jets and helicopters and then we get 24 hours earlier. And we meet Alex our protagonist who is a good hearted exterminator working in Los Angeles. He is strapped for money and we get a nice save the cat moment when he helps an elderly woman catch a rat and we find out he is not going to kill it, but he is going to release it in the park. Also, she has no money to pay him. This is Lin che Of course, she has no money to pay him she is softly flirting and hitting on him. And she pays him with a fruitcake, which she accepts graciously and then throws on his passenger seat right next to a bunch of other untouched fruitcakes. So we know that this is a good guy who who does stuff for people even though he's not getting paid. However, he is then bitten by a spider and taken to the hospital, where he attempts to get a date with a very pretty doctor that is helping him and she blows him off. Meanwhile, down in the morgue, a rodent sized spider crawls out of a dead body and then bites the mortician. And since Alex are our exterminators there he offers to take care of the spider in exchange for them clearing his hospital bill. So he in the hospital security guard Jose head down to investigate and he's crawling through vents and such. And meanwhile, there's this gigantic spider, it's the size of a rat, right and it's crawling just out of scene every time he turns his head. It's federal somewhere. So he has no idea what he's up against. And he's thinking he's looking for a little spider. Also, meanwhile, a military Task Force has shown up and they want to examine the dead body that spider had crawled out of. It turns out that this spider was probably a military experiment. And they are here to capture it again. The spider meanwhile, is traveling from floor to floor and growing exponentially bigger. And by the by this time, it's the size of a dog it has killed the patient. And Alex has bumped into one of its webs and discovered accidentally that it is highly flammable. The Web. Yeah, so he finally has a confrontation in the hospital basement with the spider where he is horrified to see what he has been chasing. And the spider is about to kill him when it is driven off by Carly, who is a female soldier with the military Task Force. He is of course immediately smitten with Carly, but she wants nothing to do with him. So Alex and Jose, realizing this might be the most important moment in their lives, decided to pursue the spider on their own. They track the still growing spider to a public park where it kills dozens of people and a pretty great scene, a bunch of people who are having picnics and all this. And then this spider just comes out and start scaring people and throwing it in their mouths and then wrapping them up and doing all this stuff. It's a really great shot. And Alex and Jose get the spider to chase their truck and they lower it to where the military has set up this roadblock and a huge firefight ensues, but the spider escapes into the nearby woods. Partly our female soldier and a group of her soldiers pursue it. But the spider ambushes them kills most of the soldiers and captures Carly dragging her off to its lair. After Alex and Jose demand answers, the commander of the task force reveals that they discovered alien DNA and hope to use it as a growth hormone. However, a spider's nest was hidden in some test fruit, thus exposing the spider to the alien DNA and triggering its rapid growth. It is also revealed that the spider will soon start reproducing based on its size and their studies of the alien DNA. The clock is ticking Well Alex and Jose save Carly and the other soldiers before the baby spiders hatch or the military airstrike hits? Will Alex and Carly realize that they can destroy the spider by shooting a rocket at her apparently very flammable. spinnerette. And will you want to stay for the mid credit scene where Carly calls Alex to tell them they have another problem before heading to a gigantic cockroach claiming the Statue of Liberty. This is a silly and super fun movie. It is funny. It is clever. It is creepy. It is really well acted and a great way to blow 93 minutes I have some trivia. This is what I love about filmmakers. To cast extras for the film, Mike Mendez use people from his Facebook friends list as he did not have enough money for paid extras. Solid extermination company that Alex works for is an actual pest control company in California and they use the company's real phone number on the side of his truck as well. The jogger in quotes, played as himself by legendary be producer Lloyd Kaufman of Troma films was originally listed in the screenplay as handsome jogger, but was renamed when Kauffman who was visiting Los Angeles agreed to cameo in the film to just jogger jogger. And then finally, in the segment, Sweet Tooth from the movie tales of Halloween, remember that from about eight years ago, that anthology, the sweet two segment directed by Mike Mendez, Greg Guttenberg, and Claire Kramer reprise their roles of Alex and Carly. Now a married couple with a son. And Grunberg is also seen wearing the same exterminator coveralls who are in this movie. Nice big ass spider is my movie. I think it is well worth a watch and it is free on prime I believe. Excellence. I've got two minutes left because I'm a fucking pro. But I'm going to turn the buzzer off right now. You're not gonna just give me two extra minutes. This Irish nail. No, that's not how the game played. All right, all right. Okay, so um spider movies I want with something that I have seen and enjoyed in the past, which is not arachnophobia. But in fact, the 1977 classic kingdom of the spiders and unknown species of horror is born. As science fiction becomes science fact. If you find any problems just keep it to yourself he's found another 20 or 30 hills just like the one we burned. I mean, this right here is scientific phenomenon. As you know all species of megalin dwarfs are cannibalistic. If you put them together, they'll kill each other off. It just don't colonize like ants or bees do. An army of deadly predators searching destroying anything and why did they come? In the prediction of the great science fiction thrillers, dimension Pictures presents, Kingdom other spiders starring William Shatner. Tiffany volleying what he strove and introducing Alpha Reese Davis, spiders in this area have organized themselves into an aggressive army. I've never seen anything like it One minute they weren't there in the next minute. They were everywhere. 1000s of them out there. We'll never make it. Why haven't we heard from the sheriff must know we're trapped in here. I'm telling you. I don't think we should chant it your nightmares will never be the same. Kingdom mama spiders. next victim wouldn't be you. This has a rotten tomato score of 50% from critics and 36% from audience. So I'll take your biggest spider and lower has a budget of 1 million in a box office of 7 million so it's somehow brought some cash in directed by John but Curtis has 10 credits to his name including legends of the West Gore to Skeleton Coast mutant, the day time ended and the dark he's also an actor 26 credits, mostly uncredited credits and then stunts 21 credits and transportation department. I was like this guy just kind of does stuff. It just rolls in is like what can I do here today for you? Written by Richard Robinson who has four credits including Parana high ballin and of course this Alan Kallu, who has 28 credits, including a lot of TV like Man from UNCLE behind closed doors and thriller plus TV movies. He acted in 84 roles though, so he's also a jack of all trades. And Jeffrey stellar who has two credits, whose name starring Mr. William Shatner. 256 credits to his name including Star Trek as James T. Kirk, on one episodes of Boston Legal 90 episodes of TJ Hooker and most recently, voice in Masters of the Universe revolution of Kaldor and also the voice of the grand pear in My Little Pony Friendship is Magic, so I was not aware. It also serves Tiffany bowling 37 credits including the candy snatchers, the wild party and a lot of TV walk on rolls, and Marcy Lafferty Shatner's then wife of one of four marriages and apparently the longest who had been married to him. She has 29 credits a lot of TV one off the film crash but not that one. The daytime ended airplane to the sequel, and Vivian Lee and the movie, Vivian lean and Woody Strode is in this 291 credits the quick and the dead once upon a time the West Spartacus, The Man Who Shot Liberty Vance really cool black actor. So there's also just a ton of like kind of semi recognizable people here and there. It's definitely an ensemble kind of cast. The plot is Robert rack Hanson is a flirty veterinarian who has a thing going with his friends, his dead friends, wife, Birch, and is it proxy father to the child of his dead friend, there is a awkward flirting scene. I should point out that Birch is played by his own actual wife and they have the worst onset chemistry and, and mercy. They're like at one point like last night we knew each other because they're in Arizona and they got like cowboy hats and he's like, we got to tie up this cow so we can shoot him with meds and then he ties her up and then they wrestle but it's like really aggressive. And you're like, oh, and then he's like, grossed out by her and like walks away and he's like, you just need to get over him. I'm not him blah blah blah. And I'm like, this took a real fucking turn, sir. All right. Meanwhile, in the town, a man's prize calf mysteriously dies. And of course rack being the vet and Tana sent off to see what did it i He can't quite work it out. So he sent a blood sample off to a university and a scientist arrives in town. He has smokin hot blonde with reflective sunglasses and a cool car with its top down. She doesn't belong here. She's just some rich fancy University scientists woman, but she's gonna hang out with them anyway. So she informed him that the reason that the calf died is that it had a venomous spider bite and the town there is very insistent that he doesn't want this town to go into quarantine whether it's you know, disease or whatever is going on. He doesn't want it to go into quarantine because the upcoming County Fair is happening and very important. July you got it, you got to have been doing it. So of course in the meantime, the spiders become more and more prevalent and aggressive. Rack starts getting close to Diane the scientist, the blonde wall. Birch, his actual real life wife is my heart is broken. It hurts. However, the spiders they just cover are in this giant hill on the property of the cow who died and she she thinks that maybe millions of them are actually out here due to a lack of food and overuse of chemicals somewhere else in the country. It's about 600 miles away from her these things should be and she finds out from her testing that these spiders are in fact five times more venomous than normal spiders and they have formed many more Hills not just the one hill that they decided to go ahead and burn down but the spiders crawl away from Yeah, Mayer tries to he's like I'm gonna kill all the spiders and he tries to spray the whole town with pesticides using a crop duster but of course the plane is sorted by spiders. Wow purchase then attacked and cents her daughter Linda go get help. Rack is able to save Linden little girl but not birch. Too bad for her. She does not get to be with Mr. Shatner ever again. They Just slide her love story under the rug and say, Who cares. More and more residents begin to get attacked, and rack and Diane take refuge in a local Lodge. But eventually it's also overrun. So they try to escape and leave the town, but it's too late. Spiders have gotten everywhere. They can't get in and out because of just they're all over everything and power is shut off. So rack needs to go the basement change out the fuse, but as of course overwhelmed the spiders. The next day, we see he has survived somehow miraculously, and they listen to the radio hoping to hear about this crazy event. And no one talks about it. It's weird. They do however, look outside to discover the entire town is covered in webbing. And then we get an incredible country song playing over the credits. So this film, it has a very 70s TV drama feel to it, it's really pretty cheesy, it doesn't really have very much applied. It's however, the only film I've ever seen where I feel really bad for the spiders of it. genuinely bad for the spiders. They are clearly just murdering the spiders. First thing you see a spider in a guy is like changing a tire on a car and it's like inside the new tire and it bites him and runs off. And he just spits on it. He just fits on a real tarantula. They're all tarantulas are just a lot of tarantulas. And they're, it's gross, because they're everywhere, but they're also kind of cute. And you can tell they're being like forced into situations where people are like, chasing them around with little air guns and they're like and they're being gently from my agent on things, but they're not doing anything really. They're not creepy. I mean, they're not. They're creepy because they're spiders, but they're not actually. There's just a lot of them. Um, a little bit of trivia on this movie. Tiffany, bowling was cast as the female lead because she was the only actress who auditioned for the film who had no problem working spiders.$50,000 with the film's budget went towards spiders, the producers offered to pay $10 Each for live tarantulas, tarantulas, and though handlers captured and collected 5000 of them. Contrary to popular belief, and the film the venom of most northern American tarantulas, is not deadly to humans and causes no more harm than a bee sting. Unless of course the person is allergic to them. The worst injury most of the actors saw suffered was while handling the tarantulas was troublesome itching caused by the spider shedding there you you ticket cating bristles a large amount of the trenches kept on hand led to some unusual production difficulties. Not only did each one of them have to be kept. How did that even happen? There wasn't anything to talk about this movie. Alright, I'll just I'll just wrap up with the last couple most interesting things. Additionally, transplants are usually shy around people. So fans and the air tubes often had to be used to get them to move around towards their victims. And indeed there are a number of scenes where the trenches are attacking people. And it's obvious to the viewers that they are just being moved around from place to place. In his autobiography, up till now, William Shatner said he found it distressing how many of the travelers were killed on set remembering hearing them squishes cars drove over them. See if you can see all the times that people are stepping on them people are running over them people are like they are just dying on screen constantly. It's awful. After shooting was completed and because translators are native to the area anyway, all the remaining and surviving tarantulas were set loose in camp varied Arizona area and locals saw a higher than usual number of them in the area. Nope, I would not be happy with that. That's a lot of spiders. 5000 5000 minus the debt. So it's, it's interesting. You said this habit TV movie field because I thought this was a TV movie. When you set it out a budget in a box office. I was like, why? I don't you know, I didn't see anything on there about it being a TV movie. It did really, really feel like it though. And since it had a box office, I just assumed okay, they must have released it into theaters. But it really really felt like it. Well, it is a classic, but not very good. Yeah. The Shatner is just hitting on everybody very aggressively and in a slightly gross way. Even though he's not like unattractive at that point. It's just like, Yeah, but how? What was he doing in the movie? So, one of the trivia items was that the lead actress was like William Shatner was hitting on me and flirting on me a lot openly on set with his wife right there because she was also starring in the film. So right he was like, Honey Don't worry about it once you go take a swim in the pool. Got to work on my next fight. Yes. Oh, that was actually divorced. This one ends in a swimming tragedy. Oh, my. Eric. You ready? Yep. Kappa spirit. 10 minutes. All right. So he said do you think he thought there might have been a made for TV movie? Well, mine was I made for TV movie. Tarantulas the deadly cargo. A savage invasion brings terror to a peaceful town aquatic and stars tarantulas that deadly cargo When did nine eight Central America 1977 I'll see your rotten tomatoes scores and lower you. Oh, no ratings from critics and a 13 from the crowd. So no real budget or box office available for this because it's made for TV. It was directed by Stuart Hagman. Best known for his three episodes of Mission Impossible, and the strawberry statement written by John groves, who wrote bagel adventures in time, the golden seal and 15 episodes of emergency with an exclamation point. Durden Trueblood. Allah has a name, who also wrote Amazon's the savage bees, ants and jaws 3d. Oh. Starring Claude Aikens movies the curse tentacles real Bravo Battle for the Planet of the Apes. This is a 237 credits kind of guy. Tom Atkins. Oh, nice. Halloween three, trick, drive angry and seducing every woman he ever worked with in a movie. So for this one. And Howard hesseman Dr. Johnny fever from w k RP which he appeared in 89 episodes, which I'm guessing is all of them. Also head of the class for 92 episodes. Charles Frank was in the right stuff. And most every 70s and 80s TV show at one point or another and Deborah winters who is in the Winds of War and blue sunshine. So the weird one there. Also got at tangle with 200 Run credits, including Muppets from space, the quick and the dead, Batman, maintain at night and hang them high. And finally, Bert Remsen, another 200 credit guy from code of silence Maverick Nashville, and humanoids from the deep. So this is a who's who of people that have been in a lot of shit. And this is a 70s movie. It opens up with the music that she got, yes, this is a 70s TV movie. This couple of businessman got a whole lot of coffee beans that they need to get across the border. But they're going to fly him over but they can't afford the fee that the law is getting them to pay so they agree to fly three men illegally on the coffee beans so they pay that off and as they're taxiing down the runway. These three guys jump out of a jeep and jump into their plane and all is good to go. But hey, guess what? These beans have tarantulas in them. Many of them are three guys who jumped in the back are basically dispatched of in short order in this film. But the hit plane hit some pretty bad weather. Shrek shakes and rolls and pisses the spiders off. They got more trouble. The plane ends up landing in a tiny little are trying to land at a tiny little airport and actually crashes in a field. And then those guys all die. So Howard hesseman and Tom Atkins are out of the film already. Unfortunately. The pilots of the plane so they're both gone. Oh my God. Now the small town moves to your usual a, here's the guy. Here's your doctor, here's your fireman, here's your young guy with the tow truck and his girlfriend and you know, all that kind of stuff. There's a gas leak on the plane for some reason, which leads to the whole thing exploding but oil sort of exploding and of course, not killing it. via spiders. From this point, the movie kind of drags, you might say, as they sort of introduced the spiders having to travel from where it crashed into the town. So you see a progression of people being taken out by the spiders as they move into town. I get to this movie goes dark. The family whose airport they tried to play it in, they kill his kid. Oh, like whoa. But I gotta tell you, the amount of spiders that appear in this movie, that little plane would have had to been filled, top to bottom with spiders, because there's a lot of them by the end. But they're they've they've discovered this is an orange grove area. So they've discovered the orange factory plant. So they're all hanging out there. They have 13 hours to save the orange crop, which is the largest crop they've had in years and could save the whole town. Well, they don't really that's what the stakes are in this movie is the orange dress. Yeah. And well, you know, it's killing people, but they really don't go into that. I only kill the county fair. Came by it's 13% Honestly. So this has some great footage of spiders crawling through beans and stuff. I don't. It didn't feel as spider exploitative. As you're describing for Kingdom spiders. I don't recall seeing any of them get squished. They use Wasp sounds to neutralize the spiders. And they they're not going in like crashing them with shovels and stuff. They're just sort of scooping them up and putting them in the buckets. So it's not really mass destruction of spiders, so I guess that's nice. But they do say these are banana spiders, which they're not because they look nothing like banana spiders except for one tropical banana spider that kind of has a passing resemblance to tarantulas are they venomous? According to ese animals. Although their bite can be painful, banana spiders are not deadly are generally not seen as a serious threat to people. However, according to medicinenet, fatalities from the bite or banana spiders are rare if you're close to a well equipped hospital, however, people bitten by the spider must seek immediate emergency treatment because the venom is possibly life threatening. There's an anti venom available for banana spiders. Surprisingly, the venom of the male spider is more efficient than that of the female spider is certainly dangerous and bites more people than any other spider. So they're either just fine or vicious killers. There's also a lot of variety of banana spiders. So maybe they're talking about a different one. This was nominated for Outstanding Achievement in film sound editing and Oscars and also in film sound mixing. So it was for the regarded and those ways for the Emmys right now. Yes, yes. I say Oscars. Yeah, Emmys. Yeah. Unfortunately, this is not available, streaming anywhere. I'm guessing you too. Probably has it, you know, but hey, if you're so inclined, Kino Lorber does it on Blu Ray, of course, does not sound like it's audio commentary. It does not sound like it deserves that presentation. You know, it's actually pretty fun. It's it's not a good movie, but it is also so 70s TV show the sincerity of like the mom and dad who lost their kid or the over sincerity of the mom and dad who lost their kid going cheesy level of I Love You still and you know, well, we'll make this work is impressive. The ending has a really strange segment to the credits, where it sort of does a visual version of like the end Animal House but instead of letters it's just the people like they've got a police officer whose wife was killed and might have had been having an affair with another guy almost implies a suicide is going to happen. This shot it's like ah, well, that's interesting. The the battery's going to masturbate. I'm not sure pretty much the same look. So that was that was my story and I'm I'm good being done talking about it now. Oh my god. Amazing. I'm not going to watch that. Although I'm tempted to watch kingdom of the spiders again. It's free on TV. Or you can get a remaster copy from shout factory 70s TV show movie lover, you're not going to check this one out. It sounds really bad. If Howard Heston was the lead in it, I would be all over this. Yeah, I was real disappointed because I am looking through the IMDB credits. Like, why are Tom and Howard not versed in this group? Oh, that's why. What? What year was that again? 7777. Okay, same year as mine. Yeah. There's something going on. Spiders going on. Right now. Well, cool. So I believe then, Eric, is your pick for the next sub genre? Sure. All right. That sounds right. Yeah, yes. Yes. It is. Like, I think it's yours. Although Yes, you know? Oh, no, it's Vanessa's. Oh, okay, you're up next. All right, well, in this case, I'm gonna go ahead and throw out there the concept of a Jesus movie or a god movie. So I know the only because there's a specific film that I would like to cover. I'm not asking the US to get all Jesus freaky, but gotta be about Jesus starring Jesus about a God or a deity or star. Watch. God is not dead. For one or two. I forgot that existed. I've been tricked into so many Jesus movies like by the Jesus people, not like actual movies about Jesus. And let me tell you, it's always a disappointment. When you get there. You're like, oh, no, they're praying by the by the Jesus people. Okay, well think subset of Christians who also are like, try to get box office hits? I don't know. Yeah, you know, I don't I don't love this topic, but I will go along with it. Because I love you, Vanessa. Thank you, Hey, yo, we're gonna be winners, but maybe your film well being, I'm gonna guarantee you won't. This means that this is the time where we talk about, hey, you guys want to help out support the show, there's a lovely way to do that. It's called the value for value model. You can go to our website, you can donate money to us if that's what you want to do. There's various levels you can donate, you can even put yourself on a recurring donation. So all of that stuff is part of the value for value. If you get value out of this, you give us some value back We can't tell you how much that is. You have to decide what value you got out of this. 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