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301 NAHTZEE!

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301 NAHTZEE!
Vanessa admits the most entertaining thing she's watched lately is the Roku holiday screen saver.
Also discussed: Teacup, Don't Move, Yacht Rock.

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How long does your heritage? Longer goes down to here, wow, I get protected in my pants. Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration somewhere between science and a superstition. I We have such sites to show you. Strange eons. Welcome to strangeeons radio. That is Eric over there. Hello. That is Vanessa over there. Hello, and I am Kelly guys. This is episode 301 301. John, I've decided this is our final episode. Oh my God, please don't do that. Merry Christmas to you guys. Off forever. I do. I don't know about you guys, but for the past couple years, I've been making a list of my goals for every year. And this is what, 2024 2024 nice. That's incredible. I had, I released a novel this year, my very first novel that's wild. Yeah, that was, I released a novella in October, and even a chat book just recently. That's part of these things. I also digitized all of my old scripts. Oh, cool, which I did that with the help of a very lovely tell you what I'm moving what's on, all kinds of stuff. Oh, and the only things that I did not do here was the rough draft of my next novel, which I thought I would get done this this year. And I'm I'm struggling with it, so I think that's okay. You accomplished quite a few very large things, yeah. So what is the criteria to get onto this list? Like, is it have to be really big life, creative things. Then told me, You gave me the hint of, you know, if you do something that's not on the list, you put it on the list and cross it off. So, you know, so I can see this stuff. So there were a couple of things going on. Like, I was not sure that this animal, Carcosa, would make it this year, because Rob's schedule is so thick and and it did. So I was like, Oh, I'm putting this on here, and I'm so stuff like that. And it's just the stuff that I guys remember I had a dream. Yeah, I've got eight and a half years left. You better hurry eight novels at least. So yeah, and I've kind of set up a schedule for myself, of I want to release a novel A year and a novella a year. Perfect. I don't know if that's actually going to happen. In fact, the new novel was supposed to be my novella for the year, and it just kept getting bigger and bigger. And I was like, Oh, well, I guess maybe this will be the novel of the year. So, yeah, 2025, goals are going to be a lot less than this, just because I don't have as much stuff to that. I know I need to get finished right now. You don't need to read digitize here. I don't script now. So and everyone's just like, Kelly, you're so prolific. And I was like, Well, this is not counting the 2530 years of scripts that I have that I am novelizing right now. So it's not like I'm coming up with a brand new idea, coming up with ideas that I came up with years ago, and now I'm just kind of like going, oh, you know what I could have done in this, and especially now that I don't have to worry about budget, I'm setting this in outer space. They're all in outer space, in the future. Oh, my God, man, Kelly, you're my hero. That's incredible. Well, I just want to say, hope you guys are setting goals for yourself as well. I will now. Well, like I mentioned last on the 300th episode, this is monumental change I'll be doing the next couple months. Yeah, and both thena are like, well, these are the things we've wanted to try to do you live in one place for 20 some years. Yeah, things get ingrained. Yeah, they're really hard to change. This is the opportunity, especially because, like, the guy we're moving in with doesn't like restaurants, so he cooks all the time and once, and really good things, working on doing more of that. We're healthier eating, really good at it, and all the others, just, man, it's a lot of shit, yeah, trying to be intense, but it's going to be awesome. Plus, you know, two of you might be interested, or some other people were looking at, you know, maybe like doing game nights now, or something fun. We just couldn't do that in other places. Just wasn't room. Yeah, absolutely, but there's plenty in my place. You. Yeah, no, that's awesome. And you know that it is interesting when your life goes through a big change. What are you talking about? I mean, I was the most unscheduled, uncoordinated, loosey, goosey person of all time, and now I'm like, I wake up every morning at 7am and then I do X, Y, Z, for the next two hours, and then I have half an hour in which I can do something of my own. And then I it's, it's so scheduled now that I'm now that it's starting to really click and really start to gel. I'm like, Okay, how can I fit my creative stuff into this? Yeah, yes. So, yeah, I will be definitely doing something like that. Fantastic. I'll just say that this helps me feel like for years I was just like, God, the end of the year, what have I done? Certainly not enough. And making a list then shows me, oh, you know what? Kelly, you didn't fuck off. Yeah, yeah, you fucked off, but you also got shit done. Did you cross it all off at the end of the year? Did you cross off as you went, as I go? It's a very consistent looking pen. That's why I asked, Oh, well, it's because I use a the same pen too. You've got your crossing off pen ready you go, which is right next to your list, the writing pen and the crossing. And I had dates on here too. So like in June, I knew that the novel was coming out, so that that was in June. And then some of these other things were just kind of wherever they might fall. So I knew that October was going to be the werewolf novella because it had a super moon. It had the biggest super moon of the year. And I was like, Okay, I gotta, I gotta hit that mark. So perfect. Yeah. So I'll be doing that again for 2025 which is weird to say, 2025 oh my god, we're living in the future. Crazy. We are living in the future. I watched some stuff too, and I'm like, What should I talk about? Because there are a couple of things I didn't like and a couple of things I kind of liked. I'm going to talk about teacup. Oh, snap. Oh, sorry, Ron. I only watched the first episode. I know Ron really liked this show, and this is based on one of my favorite novels called Stinger by Robert R McCann. Even the title card, when this comes up, doesn't say based on the novel by Robert R McCammon. It says based upon the novel entitled stinger. I'm like, What the That's a weird fucking but now Stephen King will tell you, listen, that shitty movie doesn't ruin the book. The book is always there for you to read, right? So I'm not going to say this ruined the book. What it did for you poor people out there who enjoyed this series is it ruined the chance of a adaptation that is true to the novel. You're not going to get another adaptation of this amazing book, because this big budget series that bears very little resemblance to it has come out. I don't know how it did in the ratings. I watched it all the way through, and I just shook my head at the end of it, especially because it ends on a cliffhanger. And so there's supposed to be a season two. And I was like, this bears so little resemblance to the story that I don't know why they would have called it that maybe they had to, because they paid mccannon and he cashed the check. Yeah, maybe they're trying to keep their rights. I mean, that's the thing I don't know, Eric, I know you love the book as well, and McCann deserves so much more love that he's such an amazing writer. And, yeah, none of his stock gets adapted. I mean, how does somebody not do wolves? Our that would be such a ready made movie to go. This is about it's a world war two story with a British spy who's a werewolf and gets Nazis JUST BEFORE D DAY. Oh, my God. And it's, it's a spy thriller, and he's a werewolf. It's like, this is a movie, right? Well, he runs into a little problem with you know, the stand, and was that? Well, his was swan song, swan song, yeah, which are similar, but really different. They Yeah, but I don't know. He's just the kind of writer deserves to have his stuff adapted. Yeah, he's had a couple of his short stories adapted into Twilight Zone episodes and stuff like that, and, and he's doing fine. I'm not worried about that. I want the wolf sour, and I want Stinger, and I want they thirst. Yeah, this guy writes really novels that are tailor made to be turned into movies, very cinematic stuff. So Tika. Have. Your mileage may vary on this, but what they did, never forget, what they did you they took away your opportunity to get a good adaptation of this amazing book. So yeah, I remember watching the I only saw the first episode, and I thought it felt really like amateurish in some ways. I don't know. It just didn't feel very well constructed. It's also like a 32 minute episode, and every episode is right around there. I think there's one episode that's 40 minutes long. I was like, Okay, now you're just really fucking with us. So Obama teacup, though, is on Peacock, if that's your thing. Well, jam, I am continuing to try to watch Christmas movies and continuing to be pissed off so happy time of the year. I watched 2006 the holiday which you guys may or may not remember, is that movie, which has Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz. And they're two ladies who are stuck in a rut, and so they swap houses. And this is long before Airbnb exists. Jack Black in this one. Jack Black is in this as love interest, as is Jude Law of interest there, God, it has so many famous people, like in the background, or for a minute. It also has Edward Burns in it. It has John Krasinski in it for like half a second. It has red headed actress, oh my gosh, I'm forgetting her name. Very, very famous, Nicole Kidman. No, young, young and went crazy and was in Mean Girls, Oh, right. Crazy girl, yes, yeah. James Franco is in it for a second. It's, it's very weird because you're watching it going, wait, what? Apparently, Dustin Hoffman's in this for a second. Lindsay Lohan, so I was not talking to you. I was talking to Lindsay Lohan anyway. So the holiday, what a pile of shit. So, okay, I'm watching this film, and I'm like, Man, I, you know what? I haven't seen a good rom com in a long time. I mean, I haven't seen serendipity years. I want to re watch that. There's just, like, good films out there that, you know, make you feel good, and they're, they're, you know, easy, but whatever. And I'm watching it, I'm going, I am so glad that that middle tier movie has disappeared from theaters. Think fuck, because we have to get more of this slog to watch like it has some of the worst acting that they have put upon. Kate Winslet shoulders, where they're like, so you're in love with this guy, but he's not in love with you, but he's so handsome, and you just can't help yourself. Rufus sea Well, oh my goodness, you just can't help it. And so you're just gonna cry in like every scene, because you're so sad, your life is so incomplete without this guy who treats you like trash very obviously, and you like so much the so that he announces that he's engaged at the Christmas party after flirting with you, and then flirts with you after asking you to edit his book, and you say yes, because you're A rag pitch meeting going on here. It's awful. Awful. I mean, you go one scene where Cameron Diaz is explaining to Jude Law how she is just terrible at sex, but thinks that they should have sex anyway. I'm like, What the No wonder my generation of women were fucked for relationships. We were absolutely fucked to understand how we're supposed to be in them. So much therapy. I blame it all on 2006 is the holiday which you can watch for free on the Amazon Prime or not. Sorry, I was so mad. I am still so mad. Yeah, how is Jack Black a love interest, serious actor in this it doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. I believe it was the famous poet George Michael who asked, Do They Know It's Christmas? After all, I also would wonder, nope, probably not, probably not, probably not. Oh, and she makes trailers for a living. And she lives in a huge house in Hollywood, huge house. Karen is makes trailers. She's an editor. We don't make money. We don't make that kind of money. Come and see the violence inheritance, fucking, what? Okay, all right, just dive in here real quick. Out come the wolves. Okay, it stars Missy peregrine, hmm. You say her last name best known for the criminally underrated and under watched Reaper TV show. Never saw it. I saw it. I think it's rated about right? It was a lot of fun. It wasn't smart. It was a lot of fun, anyways. And just like two other people, it's a in the woods kind of thing. And I've seen this poster it. It's a horror movie sort of okay, not really okay, but it's more of a survival kind of that one, where the her fiance wants to write an article about hunting and her childhood friend does a lot of hunting, lives out in the woods and something or lives in a cabin. And so they go out to meet up with him, and he's going to show him how to things, and they go deer hunting and find out that wolves have moved into these woods when they haven't had wolves before. So it's a neat premise, and it's okay, it's a it is a love triangle, because, you know, of course, the old friend is interested in missing and it's they needed her more. The stuff she's in is the best part of the movie, and a whole bunch of it is the two guys going out to the woods and trying to hunt or teaching him how to do stuff. But when she finds out that was in a huge spoiler, perhaps in the middle of the movie, that her friend abandoned her fiance in the woods after he got attacked by the wolf, she becomes really interesting, and it gets kind of cool from that point on, but it just luckily, I think it's only like a, it's a really short movie, like a, yeah, it's under, is a, under 90 minutes. So perfect. That helps a lot. And if you like her, it's well worth seeing. Is a, it's so it'd be like a soft recommend. It's, it's fine. I think it was on Netflix. You know, it sounds so reductive, but it's true, as I get older, 90 minutes is the sweet spot for a film. Look, I don't need your two hour and 20 minute film. In fact, they get angry. Don't watch metropolis. When I was megapolis, I was so amazed doing the 100 movies this year. How many of the movies I was watching from this year? Or 90 minutes? Yeah, or less. I'm like, because I remember saying specifically last year they're gonna have your movies. There's so many goddamn movies over two hours. And it's like a whole bunch of the filmmakers figured out, oh, this is stupid. We're spending way more money than we need to. Yeah, we could cut so much out of this and make it leaner and meaner. I think that's why there's a lot of really good horror movies this year. Is because they're leaned down and just telling their story, instead of trying to fill that well, the Avengers was over two hours. That was the fucking Avengers. They had so many films building up to it. We're all willing to sit through it. So I do like that, yeah. And I even remember, substance isn't over two hours. What the fuck it must be good, though, because, and you can do that, if you can do that for two hours, do it, but don't try to just make a two hour move. Man, I'd say the substance could lose a half hour it would Yeah, there's definitely rooms that could be trimmed down. Yeah, yeah. When I see like 88 minutes on a run time, I'm like, this film already is five stars. So yeah, especially when I'm doing one for this podcast, I'm like, All right, I gotta choose between these three movies. Which one's the shortest? Excellent. You're the one. We're going with you. Yeah, I mean, and you're right. Like, I also was scrolling through shutter and came across host again. I was like, Man, that movie's awesome. And it's, what, 60 minutes. It's like, you don't have to eat, you don't have to do the tell your story like Tulsa, the Stallone TV show. Most episodes are about an hour, but the last two are, like 45 and 36 minutes long, and that's what they needed to wrap up where they were, and it worked perfectly. I love that. Yeah. Okay, this one, I'm gonna catch some flack from, not just from Vanessa, but from a lot of my friends, not Eric, though I know that there is, let me see if I can work some up. Anyways, there's a documentary on HBO right now called yacht rock. Oh, I am an unapologetic lover of Easy Light rock from the 70s. This is all sounding accurate, yes. And mostly what I love about this is the love that is absolutely heaped upon Michael McDonald, who I think is one of the finest vocalists. And I. I don't know he's underrated. He had some, he had a couple giant but he has been kind of, I think, made fun of in the ensuing years. And then so for them to talk to a bunch of new musicians who are just like, Oh fuck. Michael McDonald is the king. I'm just like, okay, thank God. I'm not alone in thinking this. It is really interesting to watch a documentary about a type of music that was categorized 40 years after it was popular. Yeah, it's like, I remember hearing that a few years What the fuck is? Yeah, totally. And they go into detail how they came up with this because it is a documentary that follows the guys who made a 2005 web series that I have to watch that is called yacht rock, where they are playing versions of Kenny Loggins and Michael McDonald's, and they have these very dramatic ways these songs came about. It looks very funny, but then they have interviews with Kenny Loggins and Mike McDonald and Steely Dan famously turns them down Dan Fogelberg, who basically, at the end, they call him up and they say, you know, can we talk to you about this type of music that you were involved with? And he's like, what type of music is that? And the director's like, well, yacht rock, and it's just beat of silence, and he goes, go fuck yourself, and hangs up, unsurprising. So a lot of people took themselves very seriously back then, and still do. But there is just a real love for this soft rock music. And they're like, you know, is the Eagles yacht rock. No, there's too much country, too much rock in their music. You know, the yacht rock is a very specific style of music and everything. And of course, they get to Christopher cross and the song sailing, and they're like, you know, this is almost the perfect yacht rock song. It's literally about being on a boat. Had the funniest, weirdest Mike McDonald thing happen one time. You know, Dean, I watched shit. He said counts before we go to bed. We were watching growing pains, and at one point he goes to Hawaii, terrible episodes. I mean, mind numbingly bad. And there's this song that starts playing. It's like, God, what did they hire a mike McDonald sound alike. Looked it up. No, it was Mike. And now whatever did, it was because I like him a lot. Yeah. So every time Adidas have bugged me about something, just sing a line from that song. Stop that so bad. And it was used. They paid for it, and they used it like, Oh, my God, I love Michael McDonald Doobie Brothers, and I was dating a woman who hated that, and so anytime we went to a bar that had a jukebox, I would find that and play it, and I would play like, I'd put in $4 and I just hit that song over and over until She noticed, and then got furious with me, and sometimes I would follow around the house and sing it. And it just, it just made me feel like, Oh, good. I'm glad that Michael McDonald is still beloved. It's, it's yacht rock, it's on HBO Max. It is a very funny documentary. Oh, cool. I mean, there's a lot of humor in it. You should have some humor when you're talking about something called, yeah, absolutely Wow. Kelly, you do you? I do me. Well, I do me. Would you do me? Mad at you about watching this documentary sounds very pleasant. What I am mad about? Oh, another movie. Two for two. I mean, look actually, okay. So I've been watching all these terrible Christmas movies, looking and looking for a good one for this year, because usually there's at least one good one that makes me feel really good. And so far, no, I have probably mentioned seeing meet me next Christmas, which is a pile of shit. I've mentioned Merry Gentlemen, which is a pile of shit. And I read a New York Times article saying Christmas secret is going to be a pile of shit. That's the Lindsay Lohan Netflix movie that just dropped this week. It's fine. Oh, yeah, nice. So out of all of them, it's by far the best. What's it called? It's called Christmas secrets. She shows up to her boyfriend's family's home to discover that her ex fiance is also there because he is dating the sister of her boyfriend, and they pretend that they don't know each other because she's trying to impress the mom, and the mom already hates her, and she doesn't want it to be that. Oh, hey, here's this guy that I'm in the house with, who I actually had sex with previously. And now you guys all get to envision that. It's fine. It's not, let me be clear. It is not good. It is not a good movie. It is not even probably the top 10 best Christmas Netflix movies, but it's the best one so far this year. I will continue to dig. Maybe I will find one that makes me happy, that explains why I saw, like, all these Lindsay Lohan articles. Lindsay Lohan looks great again. She's bounced back. I'm like, Well, I've watched two Lindsay lohans bounce back Netflix movies already, and they were both so god awful. I was like, this one's gotta be better. And it is. She actually she looks like the Botox has, like, settled a little so she can smile and move her face a little more, which is a big plus, because she can't act you just gotta, I don't believe her, like romance scenes at all. God damn. Just don't stop making this woman try to be in love with anyone. She can't look like it, she can't love, can't love. Work into that. That is what you should be doing. It is so funny. At the beginning of December, the Netflix you know that the top 10 movies and everything, they're all Christmas movies, and they were all like Hallmark Christmas movies, and every single one of the posters looked almost identical and interchangeable. I was just like, wow, this is creepy and odd. It's bad. It's really bad. I mean, I won't watch real Hallmark movies because they are so unbearably bad. And they do have, I've seen people post pictures of the poster art, and you can just slap them on. It's always like, green in this spot, red in that spot, guy here, girl, the ribbon, whatever, the tree. So formulaic. Yeah, yeah. I worked with an editor who did those, and he was like, he took a month off so he could play Destiny two. Because he was like, I need I need me 10. I need to not be doing these fucking Canadian Hallmark films for a minute. You know a peek behind the curtain. I When you see me writing, when someone is talking, I'm usually writing down the title of their film so that I can put that into the thing. I didn't write down the title of this film, Vanessa. It's not going to show up in the discussion. Are you cutting this entire segment out? Well, I've just not seen a movie this week. I'll just make it sound like you loved it. Don't dare. All right, so I watched another Netflix movie, 2025 list on a horror movie called Don't move. Oh, yeah, that is also on my list to check out. It was the good. It's worth watching. It's like, I don't remember much when you're talking about Kelly, but it's not, it's not an original. There's very little original in this film that you haven't seen before. The idea is a guy gives a woman a paralytic drug and goes from there. Yeah, this premise was icky enough that I was like, I don't think I can watch this. It's not icky in its execution, okay? It's because most of them. The idea of the movie is he gives her the paralytic and he's going to take her someplace and do soothing, awful things, yes, but the whole story is him trying to get her to that place. Okay? So it's all the movements through the woods or stuff in trucks and stuff. He never gets to the point where he starts doing anything to her, so it avoids that nicely, okay? And it just works. And there's moments where it's like, what did you stupid little things like, she set a timer on her phone as she was because she said it, it lasts a certain amount of time. So as she was going losing it, she set a timer on her phone to count down, okay? And at some point, she gets away from and a guy finds her, and he turns off the timer on her, on her phone. Like, what the rock did you do that for? There was no and they made it very specific, like, here he's turning and I was like, okay, but so there's, there's logic leaps in any movie like this that has that, but performances are interesting enough. The Finn who plays the bad guy, is interesting enough. The old guy that finds her is pretty cool. And Kelsey is really interesting in the role, because not the easiest thing to do, you know, be be like dead, but not so. And again, this one is an hour and 32 minutes, and moves at a pretty good pace. It's fun to watch. It wasn't anything special, it's not anything great, earth shattering, but it's a good, solid, nicely made thriller. I would say, if that sounds interesting to you, definitely check it out, because it's well done for what it is. All right, don't move. Can be. Found on Netflix. I was like, wait a minute, what can I just say? Though, really quick, there is one good holiday thing I've seen this year. Oh, okay, bring it on the Roku holiday screensaver is incredible. There's so many funny strikes I spent like an hour check cool little movie references in that. And it made me very happy, and so far, that has been the most joy gotten out of this entire holiday lineup. Thank you, Roku. I appreciate you. I see you. I see you. Fuck yeah. I got the Charlie Brown one before anybody else on Reddit. I remind me I'm gonna have to break out the Adult Swim. You'll love movie. Oh, yes, they did. Maybe I will finally watch that. Oh, you have gotta watch it. Yeah, that'll be a happy Christmas movie for you. My happy horror. Okay? It's very good. Yeah, okay, guys, why don't we take a little break and we can all kind of ponder the Roku holiday screensaver. Let's put it on and come back. We're talking Nazis. You? GI Joe. GI Joe. Fighting man from edge to toe on the land of the sea in the air. Oh. Terrific equipment to have a battle with. When you get GI Joe and the authentic GI Joe equipment, you'll have the greatest realism, the greatest fun you ever had, in playing soldier, box after box of authentic uniforms and equipment. So you can change your GI Joe soldier into a camouflage marine ready for battle, a navy frogman with complete scuba suit and inflatable life raft, an Air Force pilot with high altitude helmet and Air vest. Get GI Joe and get GI Joe equipment so you can set up exciting battle action whenever you want. Remember only GI Joe. Is GI Joe? Hello. Let's see who's called the strange eons radio hotline. Hey guys, it's Mike the Bronzo. I gotta hand it to you. You mentioned my name so many times during Frank's giving started to feel like Kaiser so say Ed just started cracking up by the time my message rolled. And hey, Vanessa, thank you for watching or about to watch, or have watched spectacular movie I suggested. I definitely am looking forward to how you feel about that. Anyway, guys, okay, the great holiday, everybody, if you're listening to this, hope everything went well, and stop you later if you'd like to call the strange eons radio hotline, dial, 253-237-4266, nobody hangs up on me. And we are back. Listen, you guys, when I think Christmas, I think Nazis, don't we all so that is what we are talking about. Vanessa, baby Jesus, Nazis, snowman Nazis? Yes, I know whose Christmas is. I'm not attending. I'm putting five minutes on the buzzer. Excellent, okay, well, the reason why I chose Nazis is because I wanted to Watch 1983 the keep i What if this place i Who knows for sure? This place was not built to keep anything out this place was built to keep something. You must not stay here. Something s be only something you. Did you find what you were looking for? Did you expect to find me? Whatever kills us gets in anyway, nothing we do. No security works. What's happening? To me? Okay? Keep presented in 70 millimeter and six tractor listerio, the keep coming soon from Paramount Pictures, because it's coming out on vinegar syndrome, and I pre ordered it, and I wanted to check out this wild adventure that I had never seen before. This is a movie that has a budget of 6 million, box office of 4.2 million. Directed and written by Michael Mann, 26 credits, including going on after the to do Miami Vice also known for Thief The Last of the Mohicans, heat collateral. And this story is based on the book The keep by F Paul Wilson, starring Scott Glenn of Hunt for Red October, Silence of the Lambs and Backdraft. Gabriel Byrne from usual suspects and End of Days. Jurgen proknow from Das Boot. He's also Duke Leto Lido from Lynch's dune. And he's an English Patient and Ian McKellen Gandalf and Lord of the Rings. Magneto in X Men and death in Last Action Hero. So music by Tangerine Dream, I know I was like, Oh, okay. Plot, so in the story follows a group of Nazis in 1941 that are sent to guard an old mysterious fortress in the Carpathian Alps in Romania. They're warned not to stay the night, but ignore the warnings, though, their leader, voir man, notes that the place is built with larger stones inside and smaller stones outside, which is the opposite of how most places are built. Thus it seems to be made to keep something inside rather than out. The caretakers from the village freak out as they see a Nazi removing one of the 108 crosses made of nickel that are aligned and adorned on the sides of the inside, they say, do not do that. Do not remove this. And of course, later that night, one of those same very selfish, greedy Nazis thinks that one of them is still made of silver, takes one out. A large stone comes out, and it releases a cloud vortex being inside of a giant empty cavity within the keep. The cruel SS officer, set of people arrives to take over the operation because Nazis seem to be dying inside the keep now they clash with vormann, who is apparently an anti Nazi sympathizer. We find out very far into the film, and we're like, oh, you're a good Nazi. Gosh, I didn't realize a Jewish man who was a historian and knows the keep and grew up in the area is currently in the camps and has brought along with his daughter back to try and explain what is going on inside there. That's Ian McKellen. When the smoke monster saves the Jewish man's daughter, he agrees to an alliance with it to help it get out and promise, especially after promises to kill all the Nazis, including Hitler. In the meantime, a mysterious stranger in Greece senses something is wrong, and along with his glowing eyes, makes haste to the keep the monster after all, may or may not be what it says. So this movie is fucking bonkers. It is totally all over the goddamn place. The music does not help that I'm like, wait, what? At one point, Ian McCullen is talking to this priest, and he's like, Oh, thank you so much for getting me out. Now, let's plan our escape. And the music swells, and I'm like, wait, what? What just happened? Why are you? You're okay. Who are you again? I just took a minute ago realizing you got away from the fucking camps. All right, cool. The story whips from point to point. Is extremely confusing, how everything ties together. The monster has a few different looks in this and it's kind of incredible. I think it actually is pretty badass, especially once it takes a more form, rather than just a cloud but it's cool in cloud form too. It has a long ass sex scene with the Jewish daughter and the mystery man that has all kinds of. 70s all over it, even though it's 83 and there's a lot of naked hugging, and I was very uncomfortable. The ending is hella truncated. There's a big fight that's done in like two shots, and then we get a freeze frame of EVA being sad that her sex butt is gone. And you're like, I guess this movie's done. Ian McKellen plays a 48 year old who looks flipping 70, then his character gets over this degenerative disease and is young again. And I was like, Oh, my God, they did the best job of predicting how old Ian McKellen was gonna look, because they did it spawn. I was like, wait, what fucking year did this come out? Ian McKellen is old. There's a great batch cut involving a match Lawrence, Arabia style and a transfer will be very welcome, because we could hardly see fucking anything. The audio is impossible. I had to watch it with subs on it is dark. Yes, I love the idea that you purchased a remastered, beautiful, new version of it, and then watched it on streaming. So I know, I know it's very silly, and like, I will really want to re watch it again, because I think that it's going to be really beautiful looking. This version was not I do have a little bit of trivia, and sorry, I'm going over so this movie is disowned by Michael Mann. His original cut ran 210 minutes, which is three and a half hours in length, but it was truncated, but at the demand of Paramount Pictures to approximately 120 minutes. That's two hours. Test screenings of the two hour cut were not fail favorable. So paramount further cut the film down to 96 minutes, against man's wishes, the last minute cuts resulted in many plot holes, continuity mistakes, very obvious jumps in the soundtrack and scenes, poor editing issues and even the sound mixing of the movie could not be finished properly because of Paramount's interference, which is why every version of the movie suffers from bad sound design. So it was not just me and that one copy, two weeks into post production, visual effects supervisor volley veers died. No one ever really had any idea of what he intended to do with the special effects, meaning they were basically fumbling around in the dark, and that amounted to 260 shots of guessing, uh, Paramount Pictures refused to pay for the big special effects showdown that Michael Mann had envisioned. Hence the current movie, slightly muted ending, and the writer of the original novel, novel F Paul Wilson, was so unimpressed by Michael Mann's adaptation of his work that he wrote a short story called cuts, in which a writer puts a voodoo curse on a director who has mangled his work. Even Sir Ian McCallan called it the worst movie making experience in his life. Oh, but I will say I noticed in the credits, because I watched those that they had the music walking in the air credited. And I was like from the snowman, and yes, Tangerine Dream did rearrange and perform the snowmans Walking in the air in this movie. So there's also a board game that came out after as well as IDW published a 2006 version with the original writer doing the writing in it. And he said this was the best version of his move, of his film in a movie like version it should have been. It's what it should have been. So if you want to know what that could have been, maybe check out the comic. Yeah, yeah, agreed. This is a very bad movie. I had the pleasure of meeting F Paul Wilson at World horacon in Winnipeg, and then the pleasure of being his liaison for cryptocon when he showed up there, so I got to talk to him at length about this stuff, and we Eric and I have the commentary that he and David scow did that has never been released. Dig that up. And what's the new release? Yeah, it is a scathing commentary where they basically just blast the entire film. Oh, incredible. And, yeah, this is one that is a real bummer. Even this release by who's it? Vinegar center is is a bit of a bummer, because it's gonna look great, but it's not the 210 minute version, yeah. Like, does that just not exist anymore? They just didn't get it. Like, there's, there's no soundtrack to this either. If they could have put together a and released a soundtrack with us. It would have been an instant buy for me, because I think the soundtrack is beautiful, even though it doesn't quite fit the film. Yeah. But that is one of the holy grails, too, that there was a soundtrack album that is no longer available. You know, cost like 700 bucks if you find it, yeah. So it's a you. A troubled movie that I wish, I wish they could have released in some different way than what we have seen already. Yeah, and I did hear that, like, if you want to see some of the additional content, the original trailer has a bunch of stuff that wasn't in there, and the TV version that was released has stuff in there so wild? Yeah. I mean, it's this has happened a few times with re releases of content, where I'm like, Why did you bother? I think event horizon, it was the same. It was like, Come on, guys, like, just event horizon was that I did hear a talk on how hard they tried to find what was missing, yeah, and it just isn't either somebody's got it locked in a attic somewhere that's forgotten about it, or it just doesn't exist anymore. It's Harper now hunted, one of the cool things we're always talking about crypticon, because it's our local convention, and Eric is very prominent in it. But one of the cool things about it is that there were some, in the earlier days, there was some kind of cool stuff that went on. So I asked Paul, I said, Can we screen the movie and just give you a microphone, you could sit in the audience and kind of do commentary. So he did that down there too, and just, you know, talked about, you know, the film and what was going on in his life and and that, yeah, he did not get along with Michael Mann at all. Yeah, really, really disliked what he did with the film. Yeah, and considering Ian McKellen also was, like, this guy sucked, like he had a horrible time with Michael Mann, so I wonder he's just not a good director to work with, or maybe he was just not great early. Yeah, so early seemed like he must have learned something from it, because I haven't heard too much complaining about him since, but I don't know. I'm sure he was. I'm sure budget helps. You know, having gigantic budget smooths over a lot of things. I can't remember if this is his second film or his third film. So thief was his first. He went from a small but visually interesting film to this epic World War Two horror film. Yeah, I think he figured out that thief is his, his style to go with. He didn't really do anything, yeah, no epic. From then on, he made some phenomenal films, yeah? And, like he did Manhunter, right? Like, yeah, that that is so visually cool in so many places, yeah, but yeah, definitely smaller scale, maybe not like an endless cavern inside of a Nazi stronghold. I don't know it just, it was a pretty weird movie, for sure, but that's fine. The book is really good. Book is really cool. That's why here is it got that those same horror I mean, it's got to have horror elements to it because of the nature of what's going on, yeah. And then it kind of sets up, uh, Wilson's adversary cycle, which includes all the repairman Jack novels and everything. So it ends up being like a 13 book cycle. Oh, yeah, okay, Eric, if you don't mind, I'll go next dive in. I'm going to be talking about the 2017 film classic, Puppet Master, access, termination. Ooh. No, there are things our puppets can do that, not even an army. Can. You can control them, of course, convince me kill her. Stop your Ivan. Ivanhoff, Dr Rowe, what exactly Don't be afraid. Eliza, he's a friend, so, my little friend, we will finish our business. I dreamed of cities and flexes. You dare challenge me at all. I have never tried to control them, only to guide them. Silence. You. Yeah, directed by Charlie band, who has 90 credits, including death streamer, evil bong and ooga booga, written by Charles band and Neil Marshall Stevens. Neil Marshall Stevens has 51 credits, including super hybrid, which I have talked about on this show, 13 ghosts and witch house, starring George Appleby, who has 15 credits, including Game of Thrones Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and the willow TV series. He is a little person, if you couldn't tell Tanya Kay, 83 credits, including girl on the third floor, the Secret Lives of college escort and Seymour, the unfortunate vampire. Oh, okay, and Paul Logan, who has 102 credits, including 2025 Armageddon, alien apocalypse and America sinking. Guys. Axis termination is the 12th puppet master movie. There are currently 15 total, the last one coming out in 2022 there's clearly a story here that this is a sequel to, but I had no intent and zero interest in seeing the film that came before this one. This one starts in Los Angeles during World War Two, and a young couple are bringing the puppets to an American military captain, but they instead meet up with a Nazi spy who kills them. So the captain finally shows up and kills a spy and takes control of the puppets. These are the puppets from the first 11 movies, right? These are the evil puppets from those movies. But at some point they have somehow become the heroes of this franchise, so they're taking out Nazis and shit now that'll help. Yeah, so this captain, who's named Brooks, is tasked with working with a team of psychics, led by Ivan Ivanov, a Russian dwarf with long hair that seems would not go over well in 1940s America, but diversity, I guess, Brooks doesn't believe in the psychics or the puppets, but he will soon learn that there are more things in heaven and earth Horatio than a dreamt of in your philosophy. So the Americans are using these little puppets to fight the Nazis, but the Nazis have other evil puppets. They have a little werewolf, oh, my God, and they have a female Nazi commander puppet whose little boobies are automatic rifles. Wow. Also, there's a Nazi doctor in this who has some kind of like force ability to choke people with his mind and make them do such to themselves. And there's all kinds of backstabbing through the Nazi Party and bickering through the Americans. And this whole movie is a gigantic fucking mess. I actually picked this movie after watching a different movie called toy maker with the same premise, evil dolls in Nazi Germany. I gave up on that one when there was a woman at the toy maker shop, and she's looking at his glass case full of toys, and there's clearly a visa logo on the cabinet, which I can say with 51% certainty, was not a thing in the 40s, and certainly not in Germany. Very true. This movie is quite bad, but bloody disgusting. Said puppet master. Axis termination is arguably the strongest film of the axis trilogy. But that's not saying much. Bowser, excellent tagline, the bloody conclusion to the access trilogy. Oh, you so you skipped the first two. Yes, I did trivia. This is the third movie of a trilogy, which I think is kind of a neat idea. Yeah, the other movies are axis of evil and Axis rising. Most of the Nazi thugs are played by fans of the franchise who paid to have role in the movie Charles. Makes a lot of sense, because most of the Nazi thugs are very, very overweight. Some of the scenes where the puppets are walking are done with actors in full size puppet costumes on a green screen. This kind of looks cool, but nowhere near as cool as the stop motion animation of the first couple films. And then Charles band has said this is the bloodiest sequel in the entire series. And that may be true, but most of the blood is CGI blood, and very obviously, CGI blood. So Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, this guy never fails to disappoint. He always seems like he always feel like he should be even a Roger Corman kind of thing. But he just, well, the difference is, and we know this because we saw him, he's so fucking bitter about it, and he's still doing it, Charlie, do something different. Try to make a good movie, even very I mean, don't set the bar too high. Oh, these stuff has gotten so bad. I got a minute left. I'm in the diamond. We did an episode on Yeah, I did just see. Be a preview for a movie. It says it came out in 2024 but it could not have from Full Moon picture called the primevals, and it's got a stop motion Yeti in it, and it looks amazing. And by amazing, I mean horrible. And I was like, this has to be from the 80s, so I am going to actually read that one. Well, he did excellent, entertaining stuff, yeah, especially in the 80s, but the last few years, they've got rough No, except there was that one, like the littlest Reich, I think was never by the guy that did tomahawk. And I think so, yeah, that was kind of a that was fun. Yeah, I think that. I think that Barbara Crampton was in that one, even too. So there was, there was a moment when they could have said, Hey, let's just do this from now on. Yeah, but that moment has passed. Eric, all righty, I know you're a huge fan of the Nazis. I thought I'm aware of but five minutes of talk about how much you love them. I don't need that much time. Let's see. Yep, done the hard rock zombies from 1985 I want your Hand. Well, come on, put Your hands together. America's side, to do, shake, shake, Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, I just wanted you to go on though I want to get you out of your way. Shake, shake, shake it out, baby. Shake, Shake, shake, shake, Shake, shake, shake, shake, change. Hard Rock zombies, okay, not much on Rotten Tomatoes. 55 from the crowd. This is available on screen, box and doobie, directed by Krishna Shaw, who wrote or also directed American drive in cinema, cinema and Ironsides TV episodes, whole bunch of TV directing. He also wrote this, which he also direct. Wrote the same stuff, except he also wrote $6 million Man episode, the one where what's his name is, handler got kidnapped. Oscar Goldman was Yeah, Oscar, he's kidnapped. Yes. Come on now. And also, David. Alan Ball, who worked with him on American drive in actors, EJ curse, few TV shows, burnt bones, the world's greatest tribute bands, whatever that is. Genu Andrews, who was in Dr alien and the journeyman project, both big hits, right? Sam man from roller blade, roller blade warriors taken by force and guns of El Chupacabra. So you can tell where we're going with this one. It's gonna be one weird movie. The sucker opens up with a couple guys in a convertible driving down the freeway, very obviously, looking like 80s rockers, and then as a lady hitchhiker on the side of the road. It's supposed to be a music video. What is going on here? But no, they pick her up, and they go to a lake and they go swimming. And watching them swim from across the lake is a guy with a camera and two little people running around inside his legs and outside his legs and stuff, and she takes him into the lake and then kills both of them in the lake and cut to the band on stage playing honestly, wonderfully bad 80s metal. I went and the soundtrack for this song. They grabbed like, three or four songs off of it, because, you know what, they're so bad, but they're so fun. For some reason, a parents, a few parents, are in the audience watching this for they're going to be at the next city. They're going to be at city called Grand Google. Apparently, grand Google is against violent bands being in their city. But anyways, band is worn by a young lady fan who's not interested in being a groupie, but does want, does like the band and wants them. No, they shouldn't play in that city, that city, it's very dangerous. And this is a note. Is that a werewolf in a wheelchair with two knives. Why? Yes, it is. And they show up at the place they're going to stay at the gig. The same hitch hiker picks them up, but instead of killing them, takes them back to their house, where the the werewolf lady in the wheelchair is found, and they continue to interact, I guess. Anyways, movie crap happens. They do like, three or four music videos in this movie, which, thank God they did, because those are all fun and dumb, wonderful, one of the the 80s trope of a movie where the guys are running around the new town, being darks and screwing with stuff like, wow, this is awesome. Well, turns out that lady in the wheelchair that's Eva Braun and the old guy who's hosting them with their house, well, you can guess who that is. That's right. So he takes them on a little tour of his basement, which is outfitted with two kinds of gas chambers and stuff and premium and unloaded. Yeah, that's it. Well, yellow and green, no, but he ends up electrocuting them and killing them, but they get brought back to life because of the hard rock zombies. He tells the girl that warned them, if anything ever happens to us, play this song over our graves and it'll bring us back. Oh my god. And it does, wow. And they go on to, you know, kill him, of course, do their spectacular thing that needs to be done, and killed all the Nazis and played more music with a ridiculous scene, because the show had been canceled by the town, so they play to an empty stadium, except for the one ANR guy that showed up to watch them, who loves them, right? Fucking moron. So weird. This is a terribly wonderful film. I looked up after going, God damn, this looks for me. I have this on a vinegar syndrome release sitting in my storage right now. Let's see any trivia worth doing. They have some taglines the farewell concert to die for that came from the grave to rock and rave and misbehave. I like that in rock, we trust you can't keep a good band down. Now, this originally appeared, it was a 20 minute short that was shot to be featured in a movie at the as the drive in movie at a movie called American drive in. Now the director decides, screw it. I'm making this into a movie. Oh, my God. And yeah, definitely, 20 minutes of story. Let's see. The production was annoyed with one of the lead one of the actors, excuse me, one of the crew members played pranks on fellow cast members by farting on. Them nice. So as payback, the lyrics of the mood of the song that brings them back to life are, Ernie is a stinker, said backwards. This is quality stuff, man. So it came out in a double bill with from vinegar syndrome, with slaughterhouse rock, yeah, the other so thoroughly entertainingly stupid film, at least if you like, then I you might like that bad kind of 80s music, rock stuff. It's got that in spades. And like I said, thankfully, it was like three or four music videos. So you said you own this, but you streamed it, yeah, because it's in storage and I got part of the way through, kind of it looks so familiar as I looked it up in my catalog of stuff. Oh, shit. Do you remember what you streamed it on the screen, box, screen, box again, okay, and to be has it as well? Oh, okay. Have you seen American driving? No, it's one of the great hangout movies. Oh, it's like, uh, you know, a bunch of different kids were going to the drive in, and then all the shenanigans that happened, and people are hooking up those American Graffiti kind of saying, some confusion. I love movies like that. Oh, yeah, check that one out there. Do you remember the movie that played? No, that's why I was like, I wanted to ask you, did it get turned into that? Or did he say, No, this movie is too good that I'm making. You can't have this. No, no, apparently there's the 20 minute version was used okay in there, from the way it was written. But I haven't seen that, but I will check out American drive in and then watch for it. Yeah, wow. Well, way to go, Vanessa, yeah, see the spirit of Nazis. Well, so then it's my turn. Yes, of course. It's my turn to pick a sub genre, and I've decided we're gonna do Ku Klux Klan movies for the next one. Hey. Exit Strategy from there. No, I feel like you know what the heck we're in the holiday season, and Vanessa is watching holiday movies. Why don't we all give ourselves a chance to watch a holiday movie? It does have to be some kind of Christmassy movie, but I'm not going to make you make it a horror film. That's always a bonus if that happens. But whatever genre you like, yes, Die Hard is a Christmas movie. Yes, Gremlins is a Christmas movie. You guys, yay. I'm really excited about this one. Yeah, this will be nice, a nice break from Nazis. We haven't done Nazis in a long time, if ever, let's be clear. Some break needed clear. I've never done a Nazi that I know of. If you like Nazis, why don't you call the strange eons radio talk line tell us all about it. That number is 253-237-4266, or if you don't like Nazis, but like us talking about how we watch these Nazi related movies, call us on our hotline and leave us a message, or reach out to us on the strange eons radio talk page or on Facebook, if you just love Nazis so much you feel like you got to give us money after this, you can do that a variety of ways. We call that value for value. If you get some kind of value out of this, give some kind of value back. All right, guys, great to see you. This is the start of the next 300 episodes. Oh yeah, very cool. So I'm here for I might be here. We got six years left to me. We will see you in seven short days. See you next Thursday, transportation and other considerations for strange eons, radio produced by Pan Am airlines. When you think of traveling, think of pan and you can't beat the experience. Guess the strange eons radio. Stay at econolodge. 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